


One, Then Two

by rawrchelle



Series: Two, Then One [3]
Category: Naruto, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:33:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26635903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrchelle/pseuds/rawrchelle
Summary: Something in the air snaps, and Sakura’s reaction is visceral. Her body understands far quicker than her brain; it feels like a cold grip around her heart as an inexplicable darkness opens up from underneath them like a giant maw. It is only when they begin to fall that she consciously understands what’s happening.No,she thinks.No, no, no no nonono—
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)
Series: Two, Then One [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1901542
Comments: 53
Kudos: 112





	1. Milestones

**Author's Note:**

> I’m going to say this now: I’m not good at plot and I’m not good at action, and that’s basically a lot of this fic. But this pairing _just wouldn’t leave me_. So. Here we are again. If you can accept my flaws, buckle up, here we go again!

“You don’t think that could be why?”

“If it was, then I would’ve grown more once I reached the surface, but I didn’t get any taller.”

“Weren’t you already an adult by the time you left the Underground? You would’ve already passed the age at which you could grow.”

“So you mean the reason why I’m so short is because I grew up in a dark shithole?”

It’s a beautiful day in the Fire Country. The sun is warm on Sakura’s skin and the breeze is gentle. She and Levi are leisurely walking down the wide gravel path away from Konoha, each with a basket in hand. She had booked the day off and the teahouse is closed for today—they have the whole day to themselves. She’s used to traveling at much faster speeds with Levi and under much direr circumstances, but today is relaxed and easy.

Sakura beams when she looks at him. His skin is a little darker now that they’re well into the summer months; he is short, but he certainly doesn’t look like someone who lacks sunlight. “You’re not _that_ short,” she tries to reassure him. “But think of it this way: the smaller a target is, the harder it is to catch.”

“A Titan would not have found a difference between me and someone seven inches taller than me.”

“See? Not that short!”

Levi clicks his tongue in annoyance and she laughs. They continue to talk as they branch off from the main road, walking underneath the canopy of the trees. Sakura used to think they were big—but that was before she fell through the sky to another dimension, into a forest of trees three times the size of these. Those trees were old, she thinks. They’ve seen the rise and fall of many things.

Eventually they reach a nice little clearing beside a creek, an area that she and Naruto had stumbled upon a long time ago. “This is the spot I was talking about,” she tells Levi. “What do you think?”

He surveys the area. “It’s as good as any other,” he decides.

Sometimes she wishes he had more of an opinion on inconsequential matters, but she sighs and dismisses the thought. This guy can spend hours debating the minutia of a pastry chef’s expertise, but won’t think twice about where they should celebrate.

Once they lay out their blanket, they take off their shoes (at Levi’s insistence) and settle down on it, unpacking their respective baskets. Sakura had prepared their bento boxes, and Levi their dessert and drinks. She excitedly eyes the large glass bottle he pulls from his basket; it’s a floral drink he had prepared the previous day by picking some wildflowers and steeping the petals in a homemade fruit juice. Naruto thinks that it’s funny how adept Levi is at preparing drinks and desserts considering how bitter and mean he comes off as, but Sakura thinks it’s, well, sweet.

She lays out their spread in front of them: grilled fish and rice (for him); egg omelette and fried chicken (for her); and vegetable tempura and umeboshi onigiri (for the both of them). The food is still slightly warm, much to her delight. Levi pours the drink into two cups and lays out their dessert for later: two slices of black forest cake, which is by far Sakura’s favorite cake that he introduced her to from his world. She remembers when he had first tried figuring out how to make it—he’d never baked before and had only had it a few times in his past, but managed to recreate it through practicing basic cake recipes and adding his own spin to them. It was a frantic and irritable month of cake, chocolate, and cherries.

He hands her a cup and they tap them together. “To four years,” she says, unable to keep the grin off her face.

Levi’s smile is not quite as enthusiastic as hers, but it’s there. “To four years.”

It’s been four years since they fell out of the sky and landed in the Earth Country. Four years since she carried him on her back all the way to Konoha. Four years since they decided to choose happiness, and truly began their life together. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been worth it.

Sakura takes a sip from her cup. “Oh my God. This is amazing.” Beyond the citrusy flavor of the drink are gentle floral notes, leaving her feeling both refreshed and rejuvenated. “Please tell me you’re going to add this to your menu.”

“I’m thinking about it. Flowers are seasonal, so it’d be tricky.”

“It’s _so good_. How come no one else ever thought about doing this?” Levi shrugs, forever remaining humble.

They fall into silence for a few minutes as they dig into their food. Levi is quite proficient at chopsticks now, and he uses them easily as he eats his grilled fish. He has an affinity for seafood and sour things (hence the umeboshi onigiri), which is ironic because the general flavor palette of his past is quite the opposite of that.

Having spent the majority of her life with Naruto, being with Levi taught her the beauty of quiet. The peace it can bring. The comfort it can instill.

And in that comfort, they live.

* * *

The sun is setting when they begin their walk home.

They spent the day sparring, reading, and napping in the sun. It is not an extravagant celebration by any means, but it is still special because they so rarely get an entire day to themselves. Although Levi has hired enough people that he doesn’t need to be at the teahouse all the time, he insists on it anyway because, in his words, what if those punks fuck it up? And as for Sakura, she’s as busy as ever nowadays, with Tsunade’s retirement and refusal to return to Konoha for anything less than a cosmic emergency. Having a day where they don’t need to worry about responsibilities or what time it is comes few and far between, and Sakura made sure to relish every moment of it.

As the Konoha gates come into view over the horizon, something occurs to Sakura. “Do you want to get married?”

Levi shoots her a look. “Do _you_ want to get married?”

“I mean, it’d be nice, wouldn’t it? We’ve been together so long, we might as well make it official.”

“It’s just a piece of paper. It doesn’t really mean anything.”

She sighs. He _would_ say that. “Of course it means something! It means that we pledge our lives to each other, always and forever.”

“Because it isn’t obvious enough that we’ve already done that through our continued choices every day?”

“C’mon Levi, at least _try_ to entertain the idea.”

It’s silent for the next minute as he thinks. “I don’t mind getting married if you want to. Just know that it doesn’t matter to me.”

Sakura pouts. “That’s not very romantic.”

“I’m not a romantic guy.” Levi stops walking, and she stops too, turning back to look at him. “But it doesn’t change the fact that I did, and continue to pledge my life to you.” At his words, her heart skips a beat. “You saved my life. You _changed_ my life. Everything is brighter because of you—I’m not going to let that go anytime soon.”

“And you say you’re not romantic,” she murmurs, stepping towards him and resting her arms on his shoulders.

“I’m not,” he replies. “I’m just honest.”

She dips her head down, eyes half-lidded. “Oh, shut up and kiss me already.”

* * *

A week later, over breakfast, Levi slides something across the table towards her. Sakura finishes the last of her miso soup and sets the bowl down and stares at it.

It’s a small red velvet box.

Her eyes slowly go between it and Levi’s face. He coughs into his hand and says to a spot somewhere beyond her left ear, “I thought we could make it official.”

Sakura takes the box and tentatively pulls it open. Truthfully, she doesn’t know what to expect, but she certainly didn’t think she’d see a small emerald set into a thin golden band. The sight alone is enough to get Sakura choked up; she swallows the lump that has suddenly appeared in her throat and slips it onto her ring finger.

Even though she doesn’t mean to, her voice only comes out as a whisper. “It’s beautiful, Levi. You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But I thought it’d make you happy.”

She smiles and nods enthusiastically. “It does.” Through her blurry vision, she sees him smile back.

“Good.”

“But I can’t wear this at the hospital. Or when I’m fighting.”

“I figured you’d say that.” From his pocket, he produces a chain, gold to match the band of the ring. “Wear it under your shirt. Keep it close.”

In the time it takes for Sakura, the sniffly mess that she is, to weave the chain through the ring, Levi is behind her to secure it around her neck. She fingers the ring as he does so, staring down at it and the way the emerald glints in the light. “How much did this cost?” she asks, smiling at the feeling of him smoothing down her hair.

“Enough to make me question whether marrying you is worth it,” he says, and she can’t help but laugh.

“It’ll be worth it.” She slips the ring-turned-necklace under her shirt where it’ll be safe, and he returns to his seat across from her. “How do you think Sasuke will react to the wedding invitation?”

“If it’s anything like your funeral, he won’t come.”

“Oh God, don’t remind me. My name is still on that epitaph. They won’t cross it out.”

It wouldn’t be right not to invite Sasuke, of course. After Sakura had finally gotten him to understand that she would not leave Levi no matter what he said or did, he returned to his nomadic life. He still visits sometimes, but the last time she’s seen him was over a year ago. She wonders if enough time has passed that he would come to their wedding. Probably not—he didn’t even go to Naruto and Hinata’s. Still, it’d be wrong not to invite him.

Sakura rests her chin on her palm and peers at Levi. “When do you want to get married?”

“It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Big wedding or small?”

“Small.” He gauges her reaction. “Fine, big.”

“I know lots of people!” she protests. “Okay…traditional garb or modern?”

“It truly does not matter to me. I wouldn’t even care if we went to Kakashi and signed the papers today.”

“If you could invite anyone from anywhere, alive or dead, who would it be?”

It takes Levi longer to answer this question. “Hange,” is the first name he says. Then: “Erwin. Eld. Oluo. Gunther. Petra. Mike. Furlan. Isabel.” He continues to list names, names of people she knows are all dead, names that he will recite quietly to himself sometimes, just to help him remember who he is and where he came from. She reaches across the table to squeeze his hand.

“We’ll leave an empty chair for each and every one of them.”

* * *

Word spreads quickly. It’s no secret that Sakura is friends with some of the loudest and most talkative people in the village, and once she shares the news with them, nearly all the shinobi in Konoha know that she and Levi are getting married.

It’s an unfamiliar idea, to be sure, but it’s also exciting. Sakura has never doubted that she wanted to spend her life with Levi or the fact that he felt the same, but a wedding means something, despite what he says otherwise. Because it proves to everyone else that they’re making a promise. Because they’re going to stand in front of everyone they know and celebrate that together.

So understandably, even though they have made no concrete decisions about their wedding, she is in a particularly good mood.

“Ino’s of the opinion that I should wear the traditional robes during the ceremony, and change into something more modern for the reception,” she tells Levi as they make their way to the training grounds.

“That sounds like a hassle,” Levi says.

“A little bit.” She fingers her ring through the fabric of her shirt. “What do you want to wear? I don’t imagine you feel much connection with our clothes.”

As he thinks, she reaches out to hold his hand. His fingers wrap around hers easily—something that he wouldn’t do in the early days, but time has passed and things are different and Sakura would like to think he’s a little softer now. “Ideally, a black suit. White dress shirt, white cravat. But I don’t imagine I can find anything like that here.”

“Maybe we can find a designer?” she offers.

He shakes his head. “A hassle,” he says again.

“But it’s important to you,” she says with a frown.

He gives her fingers a squeeze. “Not as important as the act of marrying you.”

The answer appeases Sakura, and they continue to their walk in silence. When they arrive at the training grounds, they’re still empty; Naruto hasn’t arrived yet. He’s been noticeably more tardy these days, and Sakura would have half a heart to be irritated about it, but she knows it’s because he’ll be stepping up to be Hokage soon, and he’s been spending a lot of time with Kakashi.

It’s late afternoon, but the sun is still high in the sky. The air is still.

“Want to try some tree walking?” she suggests, nodding towards the closest tree.

Levi will regularly spar with her and her friends, just to keep his reflexes sharp, and in that time, he’s managed to hone some chakra control. They’ve had several conversations about why he can control chakra at all, considering no one from his world seemed to be able to utilize it, and Levi thinks it has something to do with his family lineage. His chakra control is still genin level at best, but she personally thinks it’s impressive, considering he’s only training occasionally on the side.

He has his arms stretched out to keep his balance, although she’s not quite sure how that is actually helpful as he begins the slow, vertical walk. His steps are measured and careful, and Sakura holds her breath as he hits the halfway point of the trunk; a few more feet and he’ll break his personal record. And when he does, she manages to stifle her cheer so as to not break his concentration, but she can’t help but jump and pump her fists in the air.

He continues his slow journey until he reaches the first large branch. He pauses there, contemplating; Sakura can see his legs begin to shake from the exertion. After a moment, he makes a decision and continues onwards—she holds her breath as his orientation shifts, and soon he is peering at her, standing upside down on the branch.

“Oh my _God_ , look at you!” she screams up at him. “You’re amazing!”

Before she has time to shower him with more compliments, his body jerks, and he loses his footing.

The first time Sakura saw Levi fall from a tree, he was much higher up than this, using 3DMG, and clearly in shock about her abilities. She had made the executive decision then to catch him before he hit the ground and broke his spine—and she makes the executive decision now to let him be. As he plummets head first, he easily twists his body until his feet are below him, and lands nimbly with an intact spine. His knees bend upon impact, helping absorb the force throughout his entire body. Just as he straightens up, she tackles him with a hug.

“You’re so great! It took Naruto and Sasuke way more tries to get that far!”

Levi is panting a little, but he’s otherwise fine. Sakura understands the feeling; it can take far more effort to control chakra than to just expel it without thought. When she pulls away from him, she sees him open his mouth to say something—

And then something in the air snaps.

Sakura’s reaction is visceral. Her body understands far quicker than her brain; without thinking, she immediately pulls Levi back into her grasp. It feels like a cold grip around her heart as an inexplicable darkness opens up from underneath them like a giant maw, and it is only when they begin to fall that she consciously understands what’s happening.

 _No,_ she thinks. _No, no, no no nonono—_


	2. Homecoming

Levi can’t believe Sakura has already experienced this twice before.

The sheer velocity and distance at which they fall makes it impossible to breathe. As they plummet downwards, it takes all of his energy and concentration to reorientate his body for the second time in ten seconds so his feet face downwards. In his periphery, he sees Sakura, a blur of pink and red, doing the exact same thing.

They land in water. His initial reaction is relief due to the much softer impact compared to what he was expecting. His second reaction is that of panic, because he doesn’t know how to swim.

Luckily, instincts take over—by the time his head breaks the surface, his lungs are on fire. He gasps for air, clumsily splashing about, only faintly registering how salty the water is. Several feet away, he hears Sakura surfacing as well. As he works to keep his head above the water, she approaches him by walking on the surface and heaves him up.

Even she is out of breath. “Water is more difficult than trees,” she pants. “The surface tension is delicate and it’s constantly shifting. But try.”

So he does. He can’t quite stay on the surface, but he is only ankle deep and it will do for now. Sakura continues to hold his arm just in case, so tight it hurts, but he doesn’t say anything.

The shore doesn’t look far, but it takes them a while.

When they finally arrive at the beach, Levi’s knees give out from under him and he falls to all fours. His legs feel like they’re burning, but he’s glad she didn’t offer to carry him on her back. He’d rather this pain over learning to depend on her. He turns until he’s sitting, staring at the blasted ocean, and Sakura sits down beside him. Sand clings to their clothes. They’re dripping wet.

“It happened again,” she says quietly.

Levi tilts his head upward, looking at the sky. It looks the same no matter where they are.

“Yeah.”

* * *

Admittedly, he is more used to change than Sakura, more used to the world shifting and having the rug pulled out from underneath his feet, but even he needs a little bit of time.

Because the last four years were real. They were four years of peace, of continually dulling grief, of friendly spars and recipe testing, of having a home to return to and somebody to fall sleep beside. They were four years of actual, tangible happiness, full of beautiful moments and quiet evenings, difficult conversations and proof that he was becoming a newer, better man.

As they travel across the vast plains, he can already feel that man slipping away.

It is quiet as they walk, and Levi can feel his past in every breath he takes. He can hear the galloping of horses, the bang of smoke signals, and metallic zip of cables. It’s like dread is inherently in the air here, hovering over them like a dark cloud.

It’s been four years. What has happened? What has changed?

* * *

“Why?” she whispers one night as they’re roasting a rabbit over the fire. “Why did this happen again?”

Levi doesn’t necessarily think there is a _why_ , but it’s not the answer she wants to hear right now. He can offer no words of comfort for her, so instead he wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer.

“We were happy,” she continues quietly. “We were going to get married surrounded by all of our friends.”

“There’s no guarantee that we’ll be here for long,” Levi says. “We could be sent back tomorrow.”

“Or we could be sent back in another four years. Or never at all.”

He knows it’s hard for her. She was just thrown into a world that didn’t leave the best impression on her the first time around. She just lost everyone important to her for the second time.

Well, maybe not quite everyone.

“But we’re together,” he reminds her. There is one blessing amidst all of this.

Sakura’s eyes are glassy under the glow of the fire, but she manages a smile. “That’s true. It could be worse. We could be separated.”

She rests her head on his shoulder and he presses a kiss into her hair, but he is already staring past her, wondering what might await them beyond the horizon.

* * *

Sakura gasps when they see their destination several days later. Levi’s eyes widen at the sight.

The walls are gone.

It makes sense, given what was happening the last time they were here, but the sight of it is still a shock. On the horizon is civilization, buildings sprawled further than where they used to be. Remnants of the walls remain here and there, but none of it stands at the height of its former form.

“This must mean that there are no more Titans,” Sakura thinks aloud, and Levi is inclined to agree. They didn’t encounter a single one on their journey here, and people are clearly living without the walls’ protection. His mind spins. What does this mean? What was the outcome of the Rumbling?

“Let’s go,” he says, picking up his pace. “It’s still a long way to Shiganshina.”

He had always been content to follow Sakura in her world. She always entered the establishments first, she always spoke first, she was always the one to encourage him to go places with her or try new things. Here, she is quiet. Here, she is the one who follows. She lets him lead, always half a step behind.

He wishes he could tell her that things would be fine, like the way she was able to comfort him all those years ago. That they’d figure it out. But the truth is, Levi doesn’t know anything.

He continues to push forward.

* * *

He’s slept in several different beds in this world. He’s moved from location to location. No matter what, he’d always had a place to return to, but he had never felt inclined to call any of them home.

( _Home is far away now. Home is a village surrounded by a short, wooden wall. Home is gravel paths. Home is his teahouse on quiet summer afternoons, smelling of tea and freshly baked pastries._ )

But if there’s anything here that’s even remotely close to being a home for him, it’s this.

The cup drops from her hand, its contents spilling all over the stone floor.

“You didn’t age well,” he tells Hange, who is still gaping at him. “Good to know you’re still alive and giving people hell though.”

She’s looking at him as though he’s a ghost—which, he supposes, is a fair reaction. “Levi…” She stands from her seat and easily crosses the space separating them. She towers over him as she inspects his face; he frowns, pulling back as far as he can without falling over. “It’s really you, right? I’m not dreaming?”

“It’d be a pretty crappy dream if it were,” he replies, and that seals the deal for her. Hange gathers him into her arms and pulls him into a soul-crushing hug, laughing in delight and spinning him around. “Hange, you shit—put me down…!”

The sound of Sakura’s laughter is what brings Hange back to earth, and she sets him back on his feet. “Sakura! You’re here too!”

“Hi, Hange. It’s been a while. I hope you’ve been well.”

They only arrived in Trost about an hour ago, and Levi had gone to the only place he knew: the military barracks. It was filled with unfamiliar faces, but they all recognized him and Sakura. Their names must still be passed along, even to this day. From there, he had asked around, and someone had mentioned Commander Hange, and how she had said she was going to the local tavern.

“Beer?” he says distastefully as he eyes her spilled drink on the floor. “You didn’t used to drink.”

“Oh, it’s not too bad now and again. We can afford it now. Don’t need to be so sharp all the time. Come, sit!” Hange gestures at the empty space across from her seat at the wooden table. Levi and Sakura sit, and he can’t help but glance down at the papers that Hange was reading before they arrived. His gaze returns to her when she speaks again. “What happened to you two back then? It was so chaotic, there were so many bodies we couldn’t find—we marked all missing people as dead.”

He glances at Sakura and she smiles a little at him, passing to him the responsibility of telling the story. It’s only fair; she did all the talking when they fell into her world.

He thinks about where to start. The beginning is as good a place as any.

* * *

Two hours later, Hange is reeling with information. Her sense of curiosity certainly didn’t diminish in the past four years; once Levi thinks he’s finally done explaining one thing, she launches into a question about something else. She is fascinated, particularly about the details that he thinks are unimportant.

“I can’t believe you can do some of the things that Sakura can do.”

“That is hardly the most concerning thing,” Levi says. “Tell me—”

“And the two of you! Getting married?” At this, Hange redirects her attention to Sakura. “Are you sure? _This_ guy?” He scowls and kicks her hard under the table, but she doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

Sakura laughs. “I’m sure. Although now that we’re here, I don’t know when or how that’ll happen. I have to admit, Hange, I was really worried about being here again, but seeing you makes me feel a little better.”

“What do you think caused it to happen? Do you think there’s a reason?”

“I don’t know. But if there is, don’t you think it should be important? Why else would it not have happened for the past four years? Why now?” Suddenly, the two women launch into theories about spontaneous cross-dimensional travel, all of them wild and slightly beyond Levi’s understanding, and he slowly tunes them out.

It probably is worth noting that this hasn’t happened to anyone else they know. It must be linked to them somehow. Levi has little hope of ever finding out how or why this happens though—it just does, and it is not pleasant.

Sakura and Hange seem content to talk amongst themselves, so he takes this opportunity to step outside.

It is dark now. The cobblestones are hard underneath him, nothing like the gravel back at home that crunched as he walked. There is a group of men standing a few feet away, smoking and talking. They hardly cast Levi a glance when he steps out of the tavern, shoving his hands into his pockets to protect against the cold chill of the night.

He’s still wearing clothes from Sakura’s world. Despite having spent the majority of his life here, he feels like he doesn’t belong.

He gazes out into the distance. Without the walls, everything looks so vast.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots two of the Military Police crossing the street. The uniform brings back waves of memories, and for a moment, he sees the faces of people he once knew, people who were once alive—but when he blinks, those faces are gone and the soldiers are strangers and they continue on their way without so much as looking at him.

Deciding he’s had enough, he returns inside.

Sakura and Hange seemed to have moved onto lighter topics, because Sakura is showing off the ring that he gave her. “Don’t let her touch it,” he tells Sakura as he slides back into the seat beside her. “She’s got clumsy hands.”

Of course, Hange ignores him and takes the ring from her. She holds it up against the light, inspecting it from every angle. “I’ve never seen this type of setting before,” she muses, before returning it to Sakura, who slips it back underneath her shirt. “It’s beautiful. Why not a diamond, Levi?”

“I ran a teahouse. I’m not exactly rich.” Not that he couldn’t have afforded one—the truth of it is that the deep green of the emerald reminded him of Sakura’s eyes, and he felt that it suited her more. But Hange doesn’t need to know that. “It’s about time we moved onto more important things, isn’t it?”

Hange, who until now sported a carefree expression, grows solemn. “I suppose so.”

Because there isn’t an easy life for Levi here. His legacy carries on. His duty will always be tied to the military. There will always be dirty work to do, and he will always be the one to do it.

Hange clears her throat and weaves her fingers together. “Things are definitely different now. Where do I start?”

“The Rumbling,” he supplies.

“Ah, yes. We weren’t able to stop Eren. All of the Titans eventually left the island to terrorize the world beyond.”

Levi’s frown deepens. “The entire world?”

“That’s what we initially thought, but now we know that’s not the case. They made their way through most of Marley and their neighboring countries, but stopped there. I haven’t spoken to him personally about it, but I think it was never Eren’s intention to destroy the entire world; he just wanted to send enough of a warning to show that his threat was real. As far as we know, all of the Wall Titans are currently sleeping in the ocean.

“We signed a peace treaty with Marley not long after that. The Survey Corps now primarily serves as the military body that travels between here and there, monitoring the peace and ensuring that none of our people are being sent here to be turned into Titans. Under the terms of the treaty, all Eldians in Marley were granted first-class citizenship.”

“We came from the south a week ago,” Levi says. “We didn’t see anyone.”

“That’s because we were in Marley—we only just returned today.”

“It sounds like we’re short-staffed.”

“We are. People are more comfortable now; most don’t think there is much point to our branch. Since the walls are gone, those in the Garrison were reassigned. Most young people think there’s more of a future with the Military Police, now that our population can spread out more.” This doesn’t sound like a well thought out plan on the government’s part, Levi thinks, but he lets Hange continue. “So on a whole, things are definitely more peaceful. But I don’t know, Levi, something is afoot. I can feel it.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Marleyans don’t like us. It’s obvious whenever I visit. They still think we’re devils. I get the feeling that most of them feel like this treaty was forced on them under Eren’s threat. And a few months ago, we refused their request of opening up trades for natural resources. Since then, the diplomats that I’ve spoken to have been…distant, let’s say.” She trails off, finally going quiet.

Levi’s head spins. It certainly isn’t the worst outcome that he conjured up during his many sleepless nights, but things are complicated. They were already complicated before they knew humanity existed beyond the walls, and now they’re only becoming more so. Moreover, he isn’t quite sure what his role is in all of this.

“So…what does all of this mean?” It’s eventually Sakura that breaks the silence.

Hange shakes her head. “I don’t know. I just know that we need to be careful.” She sighs and picks up her folder of papers, which remained untouched all night. “So much for getting my work done today. Guess I’ll be up late tomorrow.”

“What kind of work?” Levi asks.

“Infrastructure stuff. You’d hate it.” When Hange stands, he and Sakura follow suit. “Come on, let’s get you two settled in the barracks. You guys must be exhausted. Did you walk all the way here from the ocean?”

“We got horses once we reached Shiganshina,” Sakura says. “It wasn’t so bad. It would’ve been faster if Levi would let me carry—”

“Let’s go, Hange. It’s late.”

Despite their heavy topic of conversation mere moments ago, Sakura purses her lips together to hide a smile. Hange glances at both of them in question, but neither of them entertain her with an answer.

As they walk back to the barracks, Sakura reaches out to hold Levi’s hand. For some reason, it doesn’t feel right to do that here—but he forces his fingers to curl around hers anyway.

* * *

She knocks at his door a few hours later, but doesn’t wait for his response before entering. His candle is blown out and he is lying in bed, but his eyes are open and his mind is restless.

“I don’t know why Hange gave us separate rooms,” Sakura says, lifting up the covers and snuggling up beside him. Levi shifts to make room for her and lets her rest her head in the nook of his shoulder. Her hair is damp and she smells like soap.

“The beds are small,” he says. “And sharing a bed is technically inappropriate.”

“Mm.” She sounds unconcerned.

They lay together in silence for the next several minutes. Levi closes his eyes and tries to focus on the sound of Sakura’s breathing and the way her body feels pressed to his. It helps his mind slow down a little.

Sakura must have noticed his demeanor, because she tells him gently, “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure something out.”

“I didn’t want to fight anymore,” he murmurs.

“I don’t think there technically is much fighting anymore.”

Maybe that isn’t quite what he meant. Maybe what Levi means is that he doesn’t want to be _here_ anymore—he hasn’t for a long time. He wants to be in a place where things are uncomplicated, where even strangers are kind, where he spends his quiet mornings baking cakes for the day. Here, he has a legacy. Here, he remembers all of the shitty things he’s done. All of the people who died because of him.

It’s hard to be reminded of who he is.

He opens his eyes. “Hange is smart. Intuitive. If she thinks something is wrong, she’s probably right.”

“Then we’ll be ready.”

“I’m not ready, Sakura. I fought a war against Titans. I don’t know how to fight against humans.” He turns his head to look at her. Even now, her eyes are hopeful. He hates to think how long it will take for that to change.

“That’s not true,” she says. “You know how to fight people.”

“I know how to pickpocket and get out of scuffles with subpar, stupid men. And I know how to spar with shinobi who go easy on me. I could probably kill a few people using 3DMG. But I don’t know how to fight a war.”

Sakura reaches up to touch his face. “There is no war, Levi.” For some reason, he finds her words hard to believe. He never realized it until he experienced her world and until he was suddenly thrown back here, but this place—it reeks of calamity. None of the peace feels real. Even when the occasional political scuffles in Sakura’s world, the minor fights and misunderstandings between nations, things still felt _safe_. They truly understood the repercussions of their war. No one was in a hurry to make that happen again. Here, it just feels like a blanket of complacence until the next disaster hits.

“I want to hone my chakra abilities. Train me.”

Sakura’s answer comes easily, as it usually does when he requests something of her. She loves him endlessly, eternally—he can see it in the way she looks at him. It feels like too little and too much all at the same time. “Okay. Tomorrow. But for now, we sleep.”

When he nods, she closes her eyes. She drifts off quickly, her breathing steady and even against his neck. It takes Levi much longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have such a soft spot for the idea of Levi and Hange being besties. May Hange smother Levi in hugs forever and ever.


	3. There is No War

Normalcy, to Sakura, is waking with the sun. It is a set schedule, a predictable routine, three meals a day. It is settling down with Levi at night, both of them either engrossed in their own hobbies or talking until they drift off to sleep.

In that sense, normalcy is not too hard to achieve.

How quickly she adapts surprises her. Although her last visit here (if she could even call it a visit) only spanned a few months, half a year at most, things somehow feel familiar. The stone buildings. The small beds. The candles that illuminate the dark of night. The days feel longer now without the walls; the sun peeks through the windows earlier in the morning, and when it sets, she can watch it until it disappears over the horizon.

According to Hange, governmental organization is still recovering from the Rumbling four years ago. It takes time for old paperwork to be found, and new paperwork to go through. Until then, Sakura has no real identity here, and Levi is just a ghost in the streets. And other than Hange, there are no familiar faces. Sakura wonders what sort of fate befell the people she once knew.

Once Levi commits to actually training, he progresses quickly. In just a few days, he masters running on all sorts of surfaces. Their taijutsu training grows in intensity, and he slowly learns to utilize his chakra in various ways. It doesn’t take much time before Sakura isn’t able to hold her own without using chakra as well.

Levi works hard, as he always does, constantly pushing forward, never taking a break. Sakura lets that be the reason why he’s able to catch her off guard and slam her into the ground. She gasps, feeling a sharp pain in her shoulder.

He’s panting as he’s staring down at her. “You saw that coming. Why didn’t you stop me?”

Sakura forces herself to sit up and touches her shoulder. “Because we’ve been going for hours and I want to stop for a while. You’re going to burn out—stamina comes over time, not like this. Can you help me set my shoulder? You dislocated it.” He kneels down beside her and she instructs where to put his hands. “And do it in one swift motion, don’t hesitate—” She doesn’t finish her sentence before he pushes, and she feels it pop back into place. Her face twists. Knowing how it will feel never diminishes the pain.

He sits down beside her. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re getting better. A lot better.”

“Not fast enough.”

Sakura knows what Levi means. He’s good at incorporating chakra into his taijutsu, but ninjutsu is a whole other story. She doesn’t know if it’s an inherent issue with his ability, or simply because he isn’t born of her world. He can perform a simple replacement jutsu or transformation jutsu, but anything else is beyond his capabilities. Even cloning himself is proving to be a struggle.

“There is no war,” she reminds him again, although she’s sure he doesn’t hear her.

“If something comes, we won’t be prepared. Most soldiers are mediocre with hand-to-hand combat, and they’ve certainly become complacent since the peace treaty was signed. We don’t have the same technological advances as they do out there. The only feasible way to win would be with large-scale ninjutsu.”

“Or Titans,” she says.

He quickly dismisses her idea. “We can’t mass produce the spinal fluid. Plus, it’s inhumane.”

“But don’t we have Eren? Hange seemed to give the impression that he’s alive.”

Something inside Levi’s head clicks, and he turns to her, some of the life returning to his eyes. “That’s true.”

“But again,” she says, “there is no war.” Upon hearing this, he stands and brushes the grass off his pants.

“I’m going to take a shower.” Sakura frowns, but doesn’t protest.

Levi always thinks ten steps ahead. She remembers this now. She remembers how he drowns in all the worst-case scenarios, steeling himself for whatever happens next. This is what he does. This is how he survives. They’ve lived so long in peace that she’s forgotten this cold, hard soldier.

The title of humanity’s strongest suits him well.

* * *

Chewing on bread doesn’t provide the same satisfaction as rice, and the flavor of pork is nowhere near as light and delicate as fish, but Levi eats anyway.

“This is pretty good,” Hange says in surprise after her first bite. “You weren’t kidding when you said you learned how to cook.”

“You should try his cakes,” Sakura says. “They’re amazing.”

“The options here are way more limited without refrigerators,” he says, “but at least it’s not a struggle to find meat anymore.”

“Refrigerators? What are those?”

“Um.” Sakura struggles to explain. “They’re basically big cold boxes that we use to store food. It lasts way longer that way. They’re powered by electricity.”

“Electricity, huh,” Hange muses. “They’re only just beginning to look at that for Mitras. There probably won’t be any out here for years to come.”

The kitchen is empty tonight, as it tends to be these days. Most of the Military Police go out to taverns and pubs, not returning until the late hours of the night. The majority of the Survey Corps are stationed either at posts near the ocean, or are across the ocean in Marley. Levi is still waiting for the paperwork to go through so he can be there as well, but things are moving slowly and Hange doesn’t seem concerned enough about it. They’ve already been here two weeks and nothing has happened.

He takes a drink of his water and sets his cup down, loud enough to draw the two women’s attention. “Hange. Where’s Eren?”

“Eren? Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

“He pretty publicly quit the military a few years ago. Armin and Mikasa resigned with him. Armin visits me whenever he’s in town, but that’s only once every few months. The three of them travel a lot.”

So Armin and Mikasa are alive too. That boy never stopped going on about the ocean. He’s surely seen far more than that by this point.

“That sounds so wonderful,” Sakura says with a smile. “It must be exciting after having grown up within the walls.”

“Yeah, it sounds mystical out there.” Hange has a distant expression on her face. “I’d like to see it all for myself one day too.”

“Hey, Hange. I can’t show you any of that, but I do have something cool.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Do you want to see what Levi’s been working on lately?”

It’s not that Levi isn’t glad that Sakura is finding a friendship with Hange, but he definitely sees it growing troublesome. “I don’t want to show her,” he says.

“Come on, it’s something to be impressed about!” Sakura exclaims. “It’ll be _fun_. Imagine her reaction.”

“What?” Hange asks, curiosity clearly piqued. “What do you have to show me?”

Which is how, after dinner, Levi finds himself back in the training area behind the barracks. It is hard to say no to these two women, one of whom is the love of his life and the other who is arguably his closest living friend. He sighs to himself; there is no escaping them, but perhaps that’s not such a bad thing.

“You’re going to _blow her mind_ ,” Sakura enthuses.

It feels rudimentary, similar to two parents cheering on a child for taking its first steps, but he does it anyway. He walks to the nearest tree and focuses his chakra to the bottom of his feet, and climbs.

He doesn’t need to see Hange’s face to gauge her reaction because he can hear her just fine. She is shouting and screaming in disbelief and amazement, and she only gets louder as he reaches a branch and stands on its underside. He feels the blood rush to his head as he glances downwards, seeing Hange clasping her head between her hands and staring wide-eyed, and Sakura laughing in delight.

And for the first time in two weeks, Levi feels light again.

“Did he tell you that we fell into the ocean when we first arrived?” Sakura is telling her when he drops to the ground, landing nimbly on his feet. “He walked on _water_ then for the very first time.”

“Water?!” Hange grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him violently. “Levi, just how much of these abilities have you developed? How did you discover them? Is this a result of living in Sakura’s world?” She bombards him with questions, none of which he has any intention of answering, but her enthusiasm is comforting somehow. Even though she is insufferably loud and her face is uncomfortably close to his as she interrogates him, something inside of him whispers, _ah, yes_ , as if remembering how long they have known each other for, all the hardships they’ve endured together, and how he can trust her with his life.

He tears himself from her grasp and swats away her grabby hands. “This is nothing compared to Sakura’s abilities.”

“You are thoroughly underestimating yourself,” Sakura says, pulling him into a side hug and pecking him on the cheek. The sight of the action leaves Hange momentarily dazed, and she stares at the two of them, deep in thought.

“I know you said you guys are engaged, but…” She scratches her head. “I couldn’t actually see it happening until now. I never even thought that Levi was interested in women.”

Sakura unsuccessfully holds in a snort, and he narrows his eyes. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Just that we hardly had the time to think about these things! I guess peace really brings out different parts of us. Unless—did all of this start when you two were still here?” Levi and Sakura glance at each other. “Wow. The things I’m learning today.”

Sakura’s arms continue to hang off of his shoulders as she stands beside him. What Hange says is true—Sakura is the only person he’s ever allowed to casually touch him like this. It must be an odd sight for Hange, who’s used to the standoffish soldier who was only concerned with humanity’s continued survival. Despite that though, his old friend smiles.

“You’re happy though, right, Levi?”

It’s a loaded question. “Happy” can mean a lot of things. He isn’t happy that he’s here and doesn’t know what will happen from one day to the next. He isn’t happy that the perishable food in his teahouse is slowly rotting away and he isn’t there to clean it up. He isn’t happy that he can’t even pull off a half-decent clone jutsu.

But he’s happy that Hange is alive. He’s happy that Paradis survived the Rumbling enough to rebuild itself, and is now seemingly thriving. He’s happy that Sakura is here with him and he doesn’t have to worry about whether or not he’d ever see her again.

“I’m fine,” he shrugs, and that seems to be good enough of an answer for Hange.

* * *

He notices now frantic Sakura’s chakra feels before he even opens the door, and when he does, he finds her pacing back and forth in his small room.

Levi immediately frowns. “What’s wrong?”

Sakura shakes her head. “Nothing. Nothing’s wrong.” Although the way she’s acting doesn’t seem like nothing’s wrong; she’s chewing a hole through her bottom lip and her eyes are flitting everywhere, landing on everything except for him.

He easily crosses the space separating them and places his hands on her shoulders. “Stop lying.” Her eyes are wide and slightly glazed over. “Sakura. Talk to me.”

“Nothing’s wrong!” she exclaims, her voice jumping up an octave. “I’m just nervous, let me gather my bearings.”

Nervous? Levi’s frown deepens and he lets go of her, watching her turn to look out the window, and then back at him, attempting several times to say something and then falling short. With each passing second he grows more concerned over her behavior; she rarely acts like this.

“I borrowed some money from Hange,” she finally blurts out. “And I know it’s not traditional or whatever, but I thought, we don’t know when we’ll actually get married, and I wanted you to know that even in situations like this I choose you, and you’re right, marriage is just a flimsy piece of paper and it doesn’t really matter if it’s official or not…anyway, here.” She pulls something from her pocket and shoves it into his hands. Her cheeks are a bright shade of red. “I have no idea how you did this so calmly.”

In his hands is a small black box. When he opens it, he can’t help but raise his eyebrows in surprise.

It’s a ring.

It’s the same shade of gold as the one he gave her. When he pulls it out of the box to inspect it closer, he sees numbers embossed on the inside. It’s the date of the day they arrived in Sakura’s world, the one they celebrated four years for not too long ago.

“In lieu of a wedding date,” she supplies, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Levi sets the box aside on his desk and slips the ring on. It’s a good fit. There are no jewels and its surface is slightly domed; there is no opportunity for it to snag on anything. It is sleek and practical.

“Do you like it?” Sakura asks meekly. It isn’t until now that Levi realizes he hasn’t uttered a single word.

Something wells up in him. It is big and sudden and warm and he doesn’t have the words to describe it. All he knows is that he feels it in this moment when he looks at her, nervous and waiting and just hoping that he likes what she got him.

He has never been worthy of her. Not for a single moment.

Levi gathers her face between his hands and kisses her. It is hard and fierce—maybe if he is urgent enough, wanting enough, she will understand the depth of what this gesture means to him. She kisses him back with equal force, and as she does so, he makes quick work of her blouse, unbuttoning it halfway and then losing patience and ripping the rest of it open. She gasps in exhilaration when he lifts her up and throws her onto the small bed, pulling off her pants in one swift motion. When she reaches up to try to pull his shirt off, her grabs her wrists and holds them down against the mattress; firm, but loose enough for her to break free if she wants to. She doesn’t struggle, and merely stares at him with ardent eyes and parted lips, chest heaving. Waiting. Her own ring is resting on her skin, the emerald glinting in the dim light.

“Close your eyes,” he commands lowly, voice slightly raspy as it leaves his throat. Her skin is soft against his lips as he places marks on her body, biting and sucking the way he knows she likes it. She whimpers under his touch, this usually strong woman now malleable in his hands, and her back arches as he makes his way down her stomach and then lower, lower, lower.

“I do all the work tonight.”

* * *

When Sakura wakes, she feels the most well rested since she arrived in this world.

The beds here are small, and the only way to sleep is plastered to Levi’s body, but she isn’t complaining. She shifts and stretches, and when she finally opens her eyes, braving herself to the morning sunlight, she notices that he is already awake, watching her.

“Morning,” he says. He sounds relaxed.

She smiles lazily and presses a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Good morning.” She glances down to see his ring still on his finger; he’s gently fiddling it with his right hand, twisting and spinning it about.

He hadn’t told her with words, but she knows. “I’m glad you like it. I was really nervous you wouldn’t.”

“It could’ve been a piece of string and I’d still like it.” Levi kisses her deeply, and for the first time in a while, she sees the man she knows best, the one who runs a popular teahouse and is unconcerned about foreign politics. “Does this mean we’re married now?”

“Unofficially,” she says, smiling.

“I don’t care. It’s official to me.”

Sakura grins in delight. “I’m your unofficial-official wife.”

“Too wordy,” he murmurs, gently brushing her hair out of her eyes. “You’re my wife.” The title makes butterflies flutter in her stomach, and she buries her face in his neck.

He was right. It doesn’t matter what kind of wedding they have, or if they have one at all. That isn’t the important part. The important part is here, this moment, and knowing that they belong to each other for the rest of their days.

They lay together for several comfortable minutes of silence, and then Sakura shifts again. “Well, as your new wife, I hereby declare no training today. Show me around town! I’ve never properly seen Trost before.” As she sees Levi open his mouth to respond and most likely decline her request, she continues. “Consider this a mini-honeymoon. We can get back to work tomorrow.” He considers this, and then sighs in acquiescence.

“Alright. But be forewarned, I never spent much time exploring Trost myself.”

“Then it’ll be an adventure for the both of us!” Now full of energy, Sakura springs out of bed and picks her clothes up off the floor. “I’ll need to get a new shirt. You tore out half the buttons on this one. This is why I’m such an advocate for zippers.”

“You didn’t seem so concerned about that last night,” Levi says, sitting up and stretching his neck. The sheets fall into his lap, revealing his toned back and shoulders, decorated with the occasional scar.

Upon recalling the memory, she blushes. “I was distracted.”

“You were ‘distracted’ several times last night.” At this comment, the pink in her cheeks becomes beet red, and she throws his pants at him. They hit him squarely in the head.

“Shut up and get dressed.”

* * *

Levi had never entertained the thought. He had never considered for a moment that things could be like this.

Sakura, perusing the markets and marveling at spices she’s never seen before. Sakura, looking at the froufrou dresses in window displays, commenting on how uncomfortably heavy they must be and how impractical they are. Sakura, trying beer for the first time and nearly gagging. Even with her absurdly pink hair and her headband atop her head, she somehow looks like she belongs, with her white button-up shirt, khaki pants and knee-high military leather boots.

Is this what life as one of the Military Police has always felt like? Would soldiers have proper schedules, free time to do as they please, unworried about constant threat?

There is no war, she kept on telling him as they trained. When he spends time with her like this, he can almost believe it.

* * *

A few days later, the paperwork is finally processed. Hange finds them behind the barracks, practicing flash-stepping.

“I wish I had the time to sit down with you and fully catalogue all of your abilities,” she tells Sakura. “Maybe one day. I imagine there’d be a lot to write down.” In her hand she holds a few papers, which she waves around to catch their attention. From where he’s standing several feet away, Levi flash-steps right in front Hange, who yelps in surprise. “Geez. No need to show off. As if you weren’t already insanely fast before.” She glances down at his left hand, and smiles. “The ring looks good, by the way.”

Ignoring her statement, he grabs the papers from her and quickly scans them. A few moments later, Sakura joins them and reads them over his shoulder. “We’re being stationed in Marley?” he asks.

“For the time being,” Hange answers. “I feel better about having you there. It’s easier to keep an eye on things.”

“What are we keeping an eye on?” Sakura asks.

“Everything. Officially, you two will be working with Marleyan soldiers in supervising the travel between there and here. You’ll also be providing security for diplomatic meetings. It’ll give the two of you some opportunities to listen to sensitive information.”

“Are you asking us to spy for you?” Levi asks, handing the papers back to her.

“Spy?” Hange’s voice is tinged with innocence and surprise, and he is momentarily reminded of Erwin’s shrewdness and his ability to think ten, even twenty steps ahead. “We’re at peace, Levi. We’re not hiding anything from each other. There’s no need for spies.” She doesn’t need to explicitly stage what their job is. He knows what he needs to do.

“I understand. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll be coming with you; there’s some business I need to tend to as well.”

Levi has always known that Hange is an excellent soldier and an important asset to humanity, but it wasn’t until this moment that he understands why Erwin chose her to be his successor. She is cerebral and she has vision, noticing more and seeing further than Levi has ever been able to. That skill was important when they were fighting for freedom outside the walls, and they might be even more important now.

For the first time in years, Levi salutes, his fist pounding against his chest. It still comes as naturally as breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're really getting into the thick of it now! I'd love to hear all feedback, good and bad - I realize this is a niche fic and most people wouldn't care about it, but it feels like my baby and I want to make it as good as possible.


	4. An Old Friend

Due to how far inland Konoha is and the nature of Sakura’s life, she rarely gets to see the ocean, and even more rarely gets to be on a boat. As soon as it starts moving, she hurries to the bow, stretching out her arms and feeling the salty wind all around her. Levi joins her not long afterwards, after sharing a few more words with Hange.

He, Sakura knows, didn’t even know the ocean existed for the majority of his life. It was a rumor, a dream, a made-up fantasy—and now he is gliding upon it, traveling across without worrying about whether or not he’ll drown, although she’s sure that he’d be able to walk upon it just fine at this point. In the sunlight, his eyes are a stunning light shade of grey, staring far beyond. Always thinking. Always preparing for something.

She reaches for his hand, and he blinks away his thoughts when he notices her touch. “I love you,” she says, although she’s not sure if that’s really what she means with those words. Maybe what she means to say is _I miss you_.

He turns away, and his gaze returns to the horizon. “Yeah.”

* * *

They only have about an hour after docking to settle into their temporary homes before they’re on their first assignment.

It’s easy to tell who is who. For all the time Marley and Paradis have been at peace, the two nations still keep their separate military uniforms. The green cloak around Sakura’s shoulders is familiar, and her steps feel light in the absence of 3DMG. She is immediately drawn to the people who wear the same clothes as her, and observes the Marley soldiers from a distance. Their uniforms are navy blue, stiff and formal, and they all wear caps on their heads and sport rifles on their backs. Their clothes don’t provide the same mobility that would be required to maneuver in 3DMG, and from that observation alone, Sakura can already begin to deduce what kind of nation Marley is.

Once they arrive on site, they are both given two rifles and extra ammo. As a shinobi, Sakura is used to being armed at all times, but she gets the feeling that the implications are different in this world.

She’s still in the middle of hanging up her clothes in her wardrobe when there are three rapid knocks on the door. It opens before she can respond, and Levi’s head pokes through. “It’s time to go.”

Sakura only nods, and grabs her rifle and slings it over her shoulder. She doesn’t even know how to use this thing; she’ll need to ask Levi later.

Once they leave the sleeping quarters, they easily find Hange speaking to a Paradis diplomat. She follows Levi’s lead and stays at a distance away, like the four other Paradis soldiers and six Marleyan soldiers. She feels thrown back into her youth again, taking up C- and D-rank missions just to boost her experience.

The work is mind-numbingly dull. They follow Hange and the diplomat to a large domed building. It is much more impressive than anything she has seen on Paradis, save for the grandiose castle in the heart of Mitras. Inside the building are several Marleyan politicians who seem to have been awaiting their arrival, and after a few quick greetings, they promptly head down a hallway to the left to a meeting room. The carpet underneath their feet is plush, and red and gold light fixtures hang from the ceilings; it is luxury unseen in Paradis, and Sakura deduces a little bit more what kind of nation Marley is.

She does it both because Hange had technically asked them to, and because she’s bored out of her mind. She’s standing just outside the heavy doors, the voices inside too muffled to hear, but once she focuses her chakra to her auditory system, things become clearer.

“We’d like to open the discussion again on the iceburst stone resource…”

“Respectfully, again, we must refuse.” It’s the Paradis diplomat.

“We just don’t understand why we can’t come to a compromise on this issue.”

It’s Hange who speaks next. “Objectively speaking, Paradis is already lagging behind in terms of technological advancement, even further behind than Marley. Our iceburst stone is the only thing that gives us a fighting chance should other nations decide to wage war on us. If we were to open trade for it, with the size of your population and what you plan to use it for, we would run dry in a decade. There is simply nothing you can offer us that would be equivalent in value.”

“Now, now, no one is declaring war on anyone. But even if they did, you have your Titans, do you not?”

Hange again. “The person who holds the Founding Titan has stepped down from battle and conflict. You know this already.”

Sakura’s brow furrows as she tries to make sense of what she hears. When she looks at Levi, standing just a few feet away from her, he is watching her with intent eyes, the question clear in his face. With her chakra swimming in her ears, she can hear each of his steady inhalations and exhalations. She merely shakes her head, and continues to listen.

The topic of iceburst stone is shelved soon after that, and they move onto smaller, more inconsequential things. Sakura’s mind continues to spin.

* * *

“What’s iceburst stone?” she asks him a few hours later, when they are in the privacy of their sleeping quarters.

Levi looks surprised by her question. “It’s what we fuel our gas tanks with. But I never told you that.”

“They were talking about it in the meeting earlier.” When he waits for her to explain, she points to her ears. “Chakra to any part of the body will enhance its abilities.”

“Is chakra the cure-all for everything?”

“Unfortunately, no. Wait, so it’s a stone but it creates gas? How does that work?”

“Do I look like a scientist to you? All I know is that they explode and turn into gas when we need it to.”

Vaporization. Fascinating. “And it can only be found on Paradis?”

“Yeah. It has something to do with Titans, I think.”

“Huh.” The next time Sakura gets her hands on a gas tank, she’s going to take that thing apart. She walks over to Levi where he’s sitting at the small circular table and stands behind him, hands resting on his shoulders and kneading the tense muscles there. It takes a few moments for him to consciously relax. “Today was kind of boring. Is this what we’re going to be doing every day? Just follow people around and pretend like there’s a threat somewhere?”

“You don’t have to do this. You owe no loyalty towards Paradis.” Sakura’s hands still on his shoulders and she steps around him to see his face, just to make sure. His expression tells her he’s just stating facts and not trying to hurt her, but she frowns nonetheless. It reminds her of the Rumbling, when he told her with a straight face and even voice to leave him to die, as if she’d ever do something as smart as self-preservation when it comes to him.

“I go where you go,” she says firmly. “God forbid we’re apart for a period of time and the universe decides to take one of us back and leave the other one here.” Levi purses his lips at the thought, but otherwise says nothing in response to it.

“Come here,” he tells her, tugging at her wrist and shifting his chair. She steps until she has one leg on either side of him, and lowers herself down onto his lap. His hands rest comfortably on her hips, and he looks up at her, eyes probing. “Are you afraid of that?”

The question is painfully candid, and a lump immediately forms in her throat. There’s a reason why she’s been insistent to always be with him. There’s a reason why they are, as Hange declares, attached at the hip. Sakura spent four blissful years with Levi, easily parting ways with him every day and reuniting without the fear of this ever happening again—and then it did. The veil of peace is gone. Now, every time he walks away from her, even if it’s to take a bath, something cold grips her heart.

She didn’t want him to know that. He already has enough on his mind. But she can’t lie to him, especially when he’s waiting so honestly for an answer, especially when her eyes are already wet with unfallen tears. So she nods. “Aren’t you?”

Levi pulls her body forward until they’re pressed together, her arms around him and his face gently resting in the crook of her neck. “I’m afraid of a lot of things,” he says. “But we can only move forward.”

Despite the uneasy feeling churning in her stomach, she knows that he’s right.

Sakura buries her face in his shoulder, thinks about everything life keeps on taking away from her, and cries.

* * *

The next several weeks pass without much incident.

The job, like Sakura had said on their first day, is boring. It is nothing like the battlefield, the air heavy with adrenaline and fear. Levi doubts any of these Marley soldiers have even partaken in a real battle before. They talk easily with each other, laughing and smoking cigarettes on their breaks, while he stands with Sakura and the other members of the Survey Corps.

Sakura chastised him about it, but he hasn’t even bothered to learn their names. They’re young and fresh-faced, and it has long since been his rule not to learn a person’s name until they return alive from an expedition. These punks have not earned that right yet.

They know him though, and they try to include him in conversations. Sakura talks with them easily simply because she’s friendly, but he easily stands off to the side, leaning against the wall and arms folded across his chest.

In the distance, he hears the bell chime, and he pushes himself off the wall. “Break’s over. Back to work.”

“You’re so strict, Captain Levi,” one of the kids says with a smile. He’s got sandy brown hair and a weird smile. “Nothing’s going to happen if we’re a few minutes late.”

He’s not a captain anymore, but he’s given up correcting them on that fact. “I’m a captain because I’m always ready. I’ve survived tens of expeditions, killed over a hundred Titans. I’m alive today because I don’t slack off for a few extra minutes of fun. Complacence is a one-way ticket to death, kid, is that what you want?” His voice is sharp, and the young man’s smile is wiped clean off his face. Levi merely scowls and stalks off.

As he walks through the sunny streets of Marley to return to his post at the docks, someone calls his name. It is vaguely familiar, as if out of a dream. The person calls to him again, and he turns his head.

“Captain Levi!” It’s Armin. Levi blinks at the sight of the blonde man; his face hasn’t seem to have aged at all in the years they’ve been apart, but the way he jogs over to Levi shows signs of experience and the passing of time. “I don’t understand. Commander Hange said you were dead.”

“Yeah,” he replies, noticing Eren and Mikasa jogging up to him as well. “She was wrong.” The three of them certainly aren’t children anymore. They’re all just a touch taller now, sporting worn tunics and trousers with big packs strapped to their backs. Levi has to tilt his head up even further to look at them now. Remembering what Hange had said about them, he adds, “Returning from some travels?”

“Yup!” Armin responds enthusiastically. “This port is the only way home.”

Mikasa, like Armin, hardly looks like she’s aged at all. Her hair is still short, and she still wears that damned red scarf around her neck. Eren, on the other hand, looks like he’s seen better days. His hair is long and unkempt and his eyes are tired.

“Eren,” he says. “You look like shit.”

“That’s just how I look these days, sir,” he replies, easily still addressing him as a superior. Ironic, considering the last time Levi saw him, he was doing something that definitely contradicted any order Levi would’ve given him.

It is in this moment that Sakura catches up to Levi and spots the familiar faces. “Mikasa! Armin!”

Levi grips the strap of his rifle and scans the docks as his wife catches up with the few people she actually knows in this world. She gives them a general rundown of where they’ve been—he doesn’t know why she so easily gives away that information. It’s not like everyone and their mother needs to know.

“And we thought seeing different countries would be fun,” Armin says with wonder. “Captain, you’ve seen an entirely new _world_.”

“It’s certainly better than this shithole.”

“It’s nice to see you haven’t changed. Hey—is that a wedding ring? Sir, did you get married?”

Why does Armin always have to be so fucking observant?

* * *

Armin suggests delaying their return by a night to catch up with Levi and Sakura, but Levi easily declines, and Eren and Mikasa don’t fight him on it. In the end, they only chat for a little while longer, and then they part ways.

“We’ll be around for the next few weeks if you want to talk more! We live in Eren’s place in Shiganshina; you know where it is.”

He does. He remembers that fateful day, heavy with loss, when he kicked in the cellar door and they found much more than they bargained for. He also remembers riding past the very same house two months ago with Sakura, noting how it, like many of the other buildings in the area, have been cleaned up and rebuilt.

He raises his hand in a simple goodbye before the three of them climb onto the next boat to Paradis, squeezing between a few large wooden crates. Most of the boats carry politicians, soldiers, and goods; there are not many people who leisurely travel to or from Paradis, although the passage is open for anyone who would like to and can afford it.

“It’s nice to see some familiar faces,” Sakura remarks as they disappear over the edge of the horizon.

“Yeah,” Levi replies, but he is only half there. His mind keeps returning to Eren—how his eyes appeared duller, how his face looked tired, how his steps fell heavy.

* * *

Marley’s cuisine is more varied and robust than that of Paradis. Some nights, Sakura is able to coax Levi far enough away from their work stations to try something new. Jakub and Hanna had shown her a nice, affordable seafood restaurant a week ago, and she just knew that Levi would enjoy it.

It is here that they sit tonight, across from each other, eating in a comfortable silence. He is quiet these days, quieter than he used to be, but Sakura knows it has nothing to do with her so she understands and tries not to let it hurt her. This is the first Levi she ever knew, constantly on edge and waiting for the next disaster. His moments of softness are only found deep into the hours of night, when they talk quietly and he gives her honest words. This is the first Levi she ever fell in love with, when she was devastated and alone and still thinking of Sasuke, and she remembers that even back then, even with his brittle words and calculated stares, in the dark of night and even in the light of day, hidden, he loved her too.

And he loves her now, even if like back then, it’s hidden.

So she does the only thing she can think of and takes him to this seafood restaurant, because she knows he loves fish and he hasn’t had it even once since returning to his world. She watches him eat, chewing slowly, as if savoring it.

She doesn’t touch him or hold his hand in public anymore. The looks that Marleyan citizens give them are cold and cruel, and showing any sign of happiness only fuels their bitterness. But Levi surprises her tonight by reaching out and loosely hooking a few fingers with hers as they walk back to headquarters. She glances over at him; he continues to look straight ahead, expression even, but she walks a little closer to him anyway, the skin of their fingers touching and their arms brushing together every once in a while.

* * *

“Preparations are being made?” she hears a Marleyan politician ask one day as she’s listening through the door.

“Yes,” another answers. “It will be soon.”

They don’t elaborate any more on the subject, and Sakura doesn’t deem it important enough to mention the next time Hange is in town.

* * *

She is jolted awake by the sound of a door slamming open and Levi violently sitting up, uttering a string of curses.

“Captain!” In the fogginess of her sleep-addled mind, it takes her a few moments to recognize Jakub’s voice. “We just received a message from Commander Hange. She says it’s urgent. You and Sakura need to return to Paradis immediately.”

“You couldn’t have waited before opening the door, you shit?” Levi grouses.

“Sorry. The commander stamped ‘urgent’ on this three times. I’ll go wake Sakura.”

“No need,” Levi drawls. “She’s right here.” From behind him, Sakura sits up as well, pulling the sheets up to cover her chest. She waves meekly at Jakub, who only now seems to register their very obvious state of undress and turns at least three different shades of red.

“S-Sorry sir, right, yes, well, the next boat leaves in half an hour.”

“Fine. Now piss off.”

The door shuts, much more politely than the way it was opened.

The sun has hardly risen even risen in the sky yet. Sakura flops onto her back, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, but Levi is already up, grabbing his clothes from where they’re folded neatly over the back of the chair and pulling them on.

“That kid needs to learn some respect,” he says, although there’s no more anger in his voice.

“His name is Jakub,” Sakura tells him.

Halfway through putting on his trousers, he pauses and looks at her, and then he resumes. “Whatever. _Jakub_ needs to learn some respect.”

“He’s just young. He doesn’t think things through yet.”

“That’s going to get him killed.”

Sakura hums, a quiet message of acceptance, and after a few more moments of admiring the last of Levi’s body before it’s fully covered, she gets out of bed too. “I wonder what’s so urgent?”

“I guess we’ll find out soon.”

After they get dressed, they grab their rifles and leave the rest of their belongings, and head down to the docks.

* * *

Hange is waiting for them when they arrive in Paradis. The sun is slightly higher now, but it’s still early—early enough that Levi and Sakura are the only passengers on the boat, being kept company by several crates of goods.

With Hange are twenty, maybe thirty other soldiers. Most of them wear the wings of freedom, but some of them bear a unicorn on their breast. They’re all wearing 3DMG. When they see Levi, all of them salute, fists pounding against their hearts. Levi’s jaw clenches and the tension winds ever tighter in his stomach.

“Oh good, you’re here.” Hange steps out of the crowd to address him and Sakura.

“What happened?”

“There’s been a Titan spotting.” Upon hearing Hange’s words, Levi feels something inside of him snap. Blood rushes to his head and everything is just a little bit louder.

He has many questions, but he asks the most important one. “Where?”

“A little ways south of Holst. There were three of them, but they were just waking up and they were slow. Two deaths, minimal civilian casualties.” Minimal could mean many things, depending on the lens that one perceives it through. “That was two hours ago. We’re going to do a wide sweep of the area in two groups, both heading northward. I’ll lead mine on the west side of Holst, I need you leading the second group on the east.”

Levi nods, and then surveys the soldiers behind her. “If there are more Titans out there, this many people is not enough.”

“We can’t afford to bring all of the Corps. There are people watching us very closely. All of the soldiers I have here are either the surviving members of the Survey Corps from four years ago, or served in the Garrison before the walls fell. You two, go get geared up. Sakura, you’re with me. I need your strength.”

Hange has already turned and taken three steps when Sakura, who’s standing beside Levi, says, “Respectfully, Hange, no.”

The commander stops and peers over her shoulder. “That was an order, Sakura.”

“I don’t owe Paradis anything,” Sakura says, voice sharp with threat in a way that Levi rarely hears. “I am not your property. I go with Levi.”

The two women stare at each other in a silent battle of power. One heartbeat passes, then two—then Hange turns and continues walking away. “Fine. Get geared up.” Levi only momentarily glances at Sakura, notices the hard determination set in her jaw, and then follows Hange to where two horses are pulling a wooden cart that has two sets of 3DMG and extra gas.

They gear up quickly and quietly. It’s been years since he’s gone through the motions, but his body remembers—the straps, the buckles, the way the triggers click. Using this equipment is as natural as breathing to him.

All of it feels natural to him. The tension, the preparation, the adrenaline—and eventually, the loss.

* * *

There are no other Titans.

During the entire sweep, his ears full of the sound of rushing wind and galloping hooves, Levi could only think that not having the walls makes them that much harder to find, and humanity that much more exposed. There are more places to hide, more paths to walk, more spots to slip past when no one is watching.

But upon his group curving around the east side of Holst and meeting with Hange’s who went to the west, he doesn’t see large footprints or toppled-down trees—there’s not a single Titan, not even a measly one three meters tall.

His group and Hange’s group come together and an unsettling silence blankets them. The disappointment is familiar, and it sits comfortably in his bones.

“We regroup,” Hange finally says. “Return to Trost. Maybe it was a freak accident.”

There are no freak accidents. There has not been a single Titan on this cursed island that’s been a freak accident, and she knows it.

Levi trots up beside her on his horse. “Us too?”

The commander glances at him and Sakura. “Yeah. I need you two close if anything happens.”

They ride back, quiet and sullen. Levi’s shoulders are heavy. He hasn’t felt this way in a very long time, and he opens his heart and welcomes the feeling home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Levi is back - the Levi that we know and love, the Levi our hearts bleed and ache for.
> 
> Like I had said in the first chapter, plot really isn't my forte, so I'm doing my best. If you notice any plot holes or something I could improve on, please let me know!


	5. Pushing

The next morning, Sakura wakes of her own accord with the sun, rather than from someone barging into the room. Upon realizing that Levi isn’t in bed with her, she forces her eyes open.

He’s already fully dressed and is scrubbing at a spot on the headboard with his handkerchief. Although his expression appears casual, she can see the tightness in his fingers, the strength with which he’s rubbing. She wonders if there’s even anything there to wipe clean.

His eyes flicker over to her. “I was going to wake you soon. We’re going to get a debriefing after breakfast.”

Sakura nods and stretches like a cat, before reaching out to still his hand on the headboard. When she pulls at it, he lets her, and she presses her lips to his knuckles, fingertips brushing over his ring. He never takes it off.

She gets dressed and they eat in silence, and in less than an hour, they’re in Hange’s office. “Oh good, you’re here,” she says when they arrive. “We’re waiting for one more.”

The “one more” joins them just a minute later—a middle-aged man, brown hair, and a rough stubble on his face. His hazel eyes are hard in a way that only comes with experience, but they’re not so hard that he’s devoid of hope. In the time it takes for him to arrive, the three of them wait in silence, with Hange looking over some papers. She is noticeably different when acting as the commander, and although this shouldn’t surprise Sakura, it still did when she saw it for the first time the previous day. She doesn’t see the carefree enthusiasm that she’s used to—the woman in front of her is solemn, calculating, serious.

“Morning, Philip.” Hange clears her throat and organizes the scattered papers on her desk, carefully thinking about how to word her next sentence. Her fingers lace together in front of her.

“We’ve been blindsided.” Her statement hangs heavy in the air. “Those Titans were a distraction to pull away our most experienced soldiers, and it worked. Quinta’s been ambushed.”

“When?” Levi demands. “By Titans?”

Sakura is a little bit rusty on her Paradis geography, but she recalls from her hours of poring over the maps when she first arrived in this world that Quinta is the town at the western edge of what used to be Wall Maria. It’s the furthest human settlement away from Holst.

“Yesterday, when we were busy sweeping the area around Holst. The situation is still unclear, but reports say the attackers were human. They were allegedly wearing Marley uniforms.”

“That makes sense,” Philip says, who is remarkably calm, all things considered. “Marley is the only nation that can freely create Titans at will.”

“The Military Police couldn’t handle an attack from humans?” Levi sneers. “And here I thought they’d stopped being shitty after all these years.”

“You know just as well as everyone else that the Military Police is not equipped for large-scale conflict.” Hange taps her desk quickly, the only sign that she’s feels more frantic than she cares to show. “In any case, we’re going to Quinta to assess the damage. Make sure to grab some rations; we may be away for longer than we think. Levi, are you up for being a captain again?”

“I don’t care. No one even thinks I stopped being one.”

That’s an affirmative enough for Hange, and she stands. “Once we arrive, there will be two squads. You and Philip are the captains. I’ll give further instructions once we’ve assessed the situation.”

“Got it.” Levi looks calm, looks ready. Sakura takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, and readies herself too.

* * *

She rides behind him and watches his cloak billow in the wind. He looks tall on his horse, like a leader, like humanity’s strongest.

He hates the title, she knows. And he hates everything that’s happening right now. But he bears the weight, bears it all without a single grimace or complaint, and he pushes forward.

He hates the title, but she can’t think of a better one for him.

* * *

Levi expected it to be quiet when they arrive in Quinta, but it is not.

He has never personally visited the city, but he can see that it is a shadow of what it used to be. Encased in the ruins of Wall Maria, many buildings have been rebuilt and repurposed over the years, but some remain as rubble, still waiting their turn. There is chatter and movement in the city, but each person he sees is a soldier, a unicorn on each of their backs. He sees civilian corpses neatly lining the streets. The Military Police are finding and marking the dead.

After a few minutes of clopping through the city on their horses, Hange makes a decision. “Sakura, provide medical support for any survivors. Levi and Philip, with me. Everyone else, support the Military Police how you can.”

Everyone disperses easily, even Sakura. Levi is momentarily surprised that she’s willing to leave his side, but then again, maybe he shouldn’t be. She has always been a medic, and she will always extend a helping hand in that regard. She doesn’t spare him a second glance and hops off her horse, and then pushes off the ground with her enhanced strength and jumps across the rooftops to get a better view. Nearly every soldier who has her in their line of sight turns to gawk at her as she does so. Levi keeps his eyes on her until he can’t anymore.

He, Philip, and Hange walk through the streets, surveying the damage. All of the Military Police have bandanas tied over their faces, and they work in silence as they move bodies and dig through belongings to find some sort of identification. Levi glances over the corpses that are not yet covered, notes that all of them seem to have died from gunshots wounds.

They eventually round a corner into what appears to be the main square. In the middle of it is a fountain—it’s still functioning, the water continuously flowing from the top to the bottom as if it’s just another day, as if its city didn’t just experience a massacre. On the outer edge of the square is a large group of civilians, sitting and huddling, quiet. Some of them look exhausted. Most of them just look numb. Sakura is kneeling beside one of them, her glowing hands hovering over his head. By the fountain, Levi sees a familiar face—Dot Pyxis, standing with his hands held behind his back, simply watching her work.

He smiles warmly when the three of them approach and salute. “Now, now, no need to be so formal. It’s good to see you’re alive, Levi—I had heard you were back, but I thought they might’ve just been rumors.”

“Well,” he says, “they’re not.”

“What do you think happened here?” Hange asks Pyxis.

He takes his time answering. “I think,” he says slowly, “someone took advantage of our goodwill.” Time has not made the man any less cryptic.

“It was clearly a planned attack,” Hange observes. “It came when we were in Holst.”

“Was it a message?” Philip ponders aloud. “A warning?”

Pyxis hums and shifts his weight forward and backward on his feet. “Perhaps it was both.”

Levi thinks back to his days in Marley, the conversations he’s had with Sakura about the things she’s heard through the doors, their debriefings with Hange, and the various negotiations between Marley and Paradis diplomats. He thinks about the results of those negotiations, which had been given the go-ahead, which were deemed impractical and shelved for future consideration, and which had met a stone wall.

“Iceburst stone,” he says suddenly, and the other three look at him.

“Iceburst stone,” Hange repeats, and he knows she agrees.

Movement flickers at the corner of Levi’s peripheral vision and he turns to see Sakura landing nimbly on her feet, a child in her arms. She sets the girl down with the other survivors and speaks with a smile and what he’s sure is a gentle voice. She smooths down the girl’s hair, nods, and takes off again.

There is no war, she had said. Levi’s gut twists as he realizes that even though he didn’t think she was right, he had desperately hoped that she was.

* * *

There is no hesitation. Once Sakura announces that she can’t find anymore survivors, they’re on the move again. She, Hange, and Levi head to Shiganshina, while Philip remains in Quinta to oversee the Survey Corps there.

“It’s no secret that Eren retired from the military,” Hange shouts over the wind as they ride. “He travels through Marley all the time. They must know that he’s gone for months at a time and refuses to fight anymore. They think that they have an upper hand.”

To their credit, Levi thinks, they’re not wrong.

They only rest once, briefly, to let the horses catch a break and to eat some of their rations. By the time they arrive in Shiganshina, the sun has nearly disappeared over the horizon (he still isn’t quite used to the sight of it, of the walls being gone) and the exhaustion of having ridden all day is beginning to set in his bones. Nevertheless, he continues to push onward.

Once they arrive at Eren’s home, they tie their horses to a nearby tree and climb the unfamiliar stone steps. Levi has only been to the cellar; the rest of the house is new to him.

It’s Armin who answers the door. “Commander Hange. Captain Levi. Sakura. What a surprise.” Despite himself, he salutes. “Come in.”

The interior of the house is wooden and modest, clearly a patchwork job to recreate what it used to be. Some of the floorboards are a different shade of brown, the window above the kitchen sink doesn’t seem to fit quite right, and Levi can feel a breeze coming through a crack in the wall. Still, it looks comfortable and lived in; the smell of dinner is still in the air as they step into the kitchen and Armin scuttles around to make some tea.

Eren and Mikasa are washing the dishes at the sink, but they stop upon seeing their guests. “You guys,” Eren says. “What are you doing here?”

Ten minutes later, the six of them are squeezed in to fit at the kitchen table, a steaming cup of tea in front of each of them and a lit candle in the center. Hange doesn’t drink hers quite yet; instead she fingers the handle, rubs the rim, stares at her own reflection as she contemplates. Levi quietly sips his in the silence, waiting for her to speak. The tea isn’t half bad.

Finally, after an uncountable number of minutes, Hange raises her head and rests an even look upon Eren. “Marley broke the peace treaty.”

Eren blinks slowly. Mikasa looks unfazed. Armin is the only one who seems to care about this news. “What?”

“They nearly all but slaughtered Quinta. The message is clear: they wanted our natural resources years ago when they first breached Wall Maria, and they still want them now. And truthfully, they have the upper hand. They outnumber us. Their technology surpasses ours. And they have more experience fighting against humans than we do. Not to mention that our government is still disorganized at best and isn’t prepared for another war.” The entire time she speaks, she keeps her eyes fixed on Eren, watching him, gauging his reaction.

Eren was never as bright as Armin, but he is still good at reading situations and people. “You want to use my powers to wake the Titans in the ocean.”

“Yes. You’re the best chance humanity’s got.”

“Not humanity, Hange. The world is bigger than our little island here. There are far more people out there than you can fathom.”

“Yes,” Hange says. “But we’re _your_ people.”

Silence falls in the room. Levi can hear Sakura beside him, swallowing her tea.

Eren’s tired eyes turn downcast. “I didn’t know back then,” he says, “the extent of the world. And the more we traveled, the more I saw the damage of my actions. Nations are still rebuilding. Trade routes have been cut off. There are places where there are more graves than living people. I…I can’t, Hange. Not again. I was stupid back then, I didn’t know anything.” As he speaks, Mikasa reaches out to touch Eren’s hand.

“It’s not your fault,” she says, gentle and pleading. Levi doesn’t doubt that she’s said this to him hundreds of times before.

“We’d still need someone with royal blood,” Armin says. “Who would we use? Historia? Her child?”

“One or the other, yes,” Hange says. “That can be easily arranged.”

“I won’t do it,” Eren says, firmer this time. “I won’t.” At this, Levi stands up, his chair scraping loudly against the floor, eyes like slits. Eren looks up at him, the resolve clear on his face. “I only have a few years left. The deal was that I get to live out the remainder of my life how I want, and then I pass my powers on. I’m not afraid of you, Levi.”

“You think you need to be afraid of me?” Levi rounds the table to reach Eren. In one swift motion, he lifts the younger man by the collar of his shirt and throws a punch at his face. He feels like a ragdoll against his knuckles, and he falls to the floor as such.

The kitchen erupts with noise. First it’s Sakura’s sharp gasp, and then it’s chairs toppling over as everyone shoots to their feet. It’s Mikasa snarling and screaming at Levi, and Hange holding her back, and Armin trying to talk everyone down. Levi continues to leer down at Eren, who for all intents and purposes is still a selfish boy who only follows the whims of his own heart.

“You don’t need to be afraid of me,” Levi sneers, the metal toe of his boot digging into Eren’s stomach as he kicks him. “You just need to know what we can do to you.” The next kick lands against Eren’s temple. The way he lays there without fighting back sparks something hot in Levi, makes his skin itch something fierce. “How much torture do you think a shifter can take before dying? How many times can you regenerate until you finally stop? Do you think we won’t feed your piece of shit body to someone tomorrow if you don’t cooperate?” He kicks again, harder this time, barely able to hear Mikasa’s screaming over the ringing in his ears.

Levi waits for him to say something. Upon realizing that another blow isn’t going to fall, Eren pushes himself until he’s sitting, staring up at Levi. After all these years, his affinity for resolve remains unchanged. “I won’t do it,” he repeats, and Levi knows he’s lost.

Still, the inexplicable rage sits heavy in his stomach, and his leg retracts again, ready to strike once more—

“Levi.” Hange’s voice is like an anchor, pulling him back. “That’s enough.” His foot hovers for a moment longer, and then it returns to the floor, a beast tamed.

The air is thick. Mikasa, panting in Hange’s arms, finally settles down, though the glare she gives Levi could cut glass. Every inhalation is difficult; blood is pounding in his ears and he feels the overwhelming urge to flee.

“I’ll be outside when you’re done,” he says evenly, and turns to leave the room.

He stands by the horses, arms crossed and body rigid as he suppresses the desire to pace in frantic circles. Fury is abuzz just underneath his skin and he can’t pinpoint it, can’t understand why he’s so fucking _pissed_ at Eren, and that doesn’t help in his attempt to calm down. The horses, seemingly noticing his disposition, whinny a little and tug at their reins.

The clouds are shrouding the moon tonight, and he is thankful for that when Sakura joins him outside. Quite some time has passed since he left the conversation, but his stomach is still churning.

“Armin offered his assistance as the Colossal Titan,” she says quietly, filling him in. “But Eren talked him out of it. I suppose their friendship runs deeper than their patriotism.” He doesn’t respond. “Hange is still trying to convince them to fight, but I don’t think she’s going to succeed.”

He believes her. Erwin was a master strategist—he knew exactly which strings to pull to get people to do what he wanted, and he had no qualms about entering the area of moral ambiguity while doing so. Hange is a little different in that regard.

They stand in silence for a little while longer, hidden in darkness, when Sakura speaks again. “You didn’t have to do that to Eren.”

He knew that was coming.

“He’s got a freak Titan body. He’ll be fine in a few hours.”

“But you didn’t _have_ to do that to him.” Sakura’s voice is firm, similar to the way she would sometimes talk to her patients. Levi can’t quite discern what she’s actually feeling, but he can imagine: maybe fear, most likely disgust. This isn’t the first time he’s harmed Eren, let alone anyone else—he’s seen the reactions of those around him when he did so. They’re all the same.

“I do what I do to get the job done,” he says. “I do it for the greater good.”

“It was unkind.”

“This place is unkind,” he snaps. In the darkness, he sees her silhouette flinch. “There is no other way, Sakura. This isn’t your world. There isn’t some new jutsu to pull out of your sleeve, there is no hidden power that we haven’t discovered yet. _This_ is the world we’re in, and this is all we have.”

Sakura doesn’t respond. Levi listens to her breathing and counts her exhales. One. Two. Three.

And she goes back inside.

* * *

Later, when the angry fog lifts enough for him to think a little clearer, he understands.

It’s because Eren’s free. He saw the world around him, he made a decision, and he stood firm by it.

Levi has always been a follower. He goes where the wind blows. The wind blew him here and he is helpless, hopeless, caged, an angry dog that only knows how to be a shadow to its master.

He had freedom, once. He was free for four years.

It feels like a lifetime ago now.

* * *

They stay at an inn for the night. Sakura bathes first, and then Levi, neither of them saying a word to each other. In Levi’s case, he doesn’t know what to say to her—in her case, she probably just doesn’t want to talk to him.

As he soaks in the bathtub, the water hot enough to scald him, he pulls his ring off to look at the embossed date inside.

Sakura had promised her life to him with this ring. She probably didn’t fully realize the kind of person he truly is when she did so. She probably regrets it now.

Levi shoves it back onto his finger and scrubs his body until his skin is red and raw.

When he exits the bathroom, she is sitting in the bed, nestled under the sheets with a pillow propped up behind her. She’s still wearing her button-up shirt because she didn’t pack a change of clothes, but her pants, jacket and cloak are folded over the back of the chair. The fact that she’s wearing a dirty shirt in bed bothers him, but he doesn’t say it aloud.

Their eyes meet, and Levi can’t quite read her expression, but something about her seems overwhelmingly sad.

“Come here,” she says, gesturing him over. He considers her request, and sits at the edge of the bed, not quite looking at her. She leans forward to grab his arm and tugs; he resists initially, until her thumb rubs circles against his skin and he relents. She guides him until he’s lying on the bed with his head in her lap, watching her toes wiggle underneath the sheets.

And all she does is stroke his damp hair. It’s a startlingly tender gesture that Levi didn’t expect; she wordlessly pets him, knuckles sometimes trailing along the shell of his ear or down his cheek, the touch unspeakably gentle. The longer she does this, the heavier and tighter he feels—his body curls and his chin tucks downward until it touches his chest; his eyes squeeze shut; his hands ball up into fists, fingernails digging deep into his palms.

“It’s okay,” she tells him quietly. “You’re okay.”

Of course he’s okay. He’s done unspeakable things countless times before. He’s said more hurtful things than he can remember. He has more blood on his hands than he could ever wash off. He’s done all of these things for what he thought was the greater good and he’s still standing.

“You’re okay,” she says again, and then he realizes that he’s not.

His body trembles from exertion, but he doesn’t know if it’s in an attempt to hold in a scream or a sob. He feels Sakura’s hands on his fists, slowly but firmly easing her thumbs into his palms, forcing him to break his grip. It stings and he knows he broke skin, but the touch of her chakra is soothing.

He buries his face in her lap. “No, I’m not.” His voice sounds far away.

He hears her exhale and faintly feels the thump of her head resting against the headboard. Her hand comes to rest on the back of his neck, fingers rubbing at the tight muscles there.

“That’s okay too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a proper story or is this just a character study of Levi? Asking for a friend.
> 
> Any and all feedback is appreciated!


	6. Not a Man, Not the Man

In the next two weeks, the Survey Corps returns to their old headquarters south of the ruins of Wall Sina. All those who were posted at Marley return to Paradis, and an offer is extended to any of the Military Police to transfer branches.

There is not a shadow of a doubt that they are preparing for war.

By day, Levi and Sakura, along with a few other veteran soldiers, train the younger ones. In the morning, they review 3DMG techniques and practice various battle formations. In the afternoon, they train hand-to-hand combat and do target practice with firearms. It is gruelling, and everyone is exhausted by the end of every single day.

By night, Levi and Sakura train for themselves.

His chakra manipulation for ninjutsu is slowly improving, but his taijutsu is growing by leaps and bounds. Sakura can no longer have half her mind somewhere else; she is fully concentrating when sparring with Levi. He uses unconventional techniques, cuts corners, thinks in a way that’s different from her—and there is chakra in every punch.

Seeing that he’s moving too fast for her to dodge his blow, she brings her arms up to protect her face. The force of the impact has her feet digging holes in the ground to stay upright.

“You’re holding back,” Levi says between his hits. His chest is heaving from exertion.

“Trust me,” she pants, “I am doing everything I can to protect myself.”

He charges with another punch. Her head moves to the left enough, but just barely—she can feel the air moving against her ear. “You never attack.” Another punch. She ducks. “You always evade. Always block.” A kick. She hops away. “Fuck, Sakura. Attack me _._ ”

“No.”

“For me to learn, you have to _fight back_.” He flash-steps in front of her and she just barely replaces herself with a stray gas tank. He is fast, faster than her. When his fist hits the metal, he doesn’t even react. “Get back here and hit me.” His voice is authoritative but there is an edge of hysteria in it.

“I don’t want to hit you,” she whispers, but he doesn’t hear her.

Levi becomes more and more agitated as the seconds pass. He moves even faster, but with more predictability; she blocks and dodges easily, always ending up just slightly out of reach before he begins his next barrage. His speed has reached a point where she can no longer think, only react—panic begins to well up in her chest when she realizes that he’s genuinely getting angry at her, and that she won’t, can’t give him what he wants.

“I’m not going to break, just fucking hit me!”

“I _can’t_!” she finally screams. His fist, just millimeters away from making contact with her nose, freezes. When he finally lowers it, he visibly registers the tears streaking down her face. “I don’t want to hurt you, Levi. I can’t.” Sakura slowly sinks down into the grass, knees weak and body heavy.

He kneels down beside her and begins to wipe away her tears. He seems apologetic. “You won’t hurt me. I’m okay.”

“E-Except you’re not okay,” she manages out between her sobs. Her breaths are coming erratic; she’s hyperventilating. “You’re not o-okay, I’m not okay—n-nothing is okay. We’re leading soldiers straight to their deaths. I don’t know if we’ll ever go home again. The responsibility of winning this war is on m- _me_. Nothing is okay, Levi. _Nothing_.”

Levi puts one of his hands on her back and the other on her sternum. “Look at me.” She continues to stare down at the grass, not quite able to control her heartrate. “Sakura. Eyes on me. C’mon.” Her eyes flit to his face. He looks serious, looks for all the world like he is ready to swear his life on something. “Breathe with me.” He presses against her back and chest firmly and it feels grounding. When he inhales slowly, she follows. He exhales through his mouth and she copies that too. He repeats this several times, until finally, her shoulders relax a bit and her back slumps.

He smooths down her hair and pulls her into his chest. “There you go.” Sakura presses her face into his shirt; he smells of musk and sweat, but still undoubtedly like himself.

“We’re just two messed up people,” she mumbles.

“Yeah,” he replies quietly.

“In a messed up world.”

“Yeah.” He holds her for a moment longer, and then asks, “Do you want to go to bed?”

Sakura nods into his chest. “Yes, please.”

After they both stand, Levi holds out his hand. It’s the first time she’s seen him do that in recent memory, and even though she is still anxious and overwhelmed, something inside of her warms.

She takes his hand and they go back inside.

* * *

Levi has never been a man of fantasy. He favors the concrete, the tangible, the things he can do rather than the things he wants to do. He follows orders, executes plans, and is acutely aware of his own abilities.

But when he looks at Sakura, _God_ , there are so many things he wants to do that he doesn’t know will ever be possible. He wants to collect medical texts from all over the world to help quench her thirst for knowledge. He wants to find an empty plot of land and build her a house so she doesn’t feel like such a nomad here. He wants to split the heavens open to bring her home so she doesn’t wake up with tears in her eyes every morning.

He wants to turn back time so he could have said something.

“There’s just no way to win without Eren,” Hange had said, resigned, when they were in her office. “We have no choice but to surrender and give them access to our iceburst stone, lest we lose the entire island.” Levi was leaning against the wall with his arms folded against his chest, eyes closed.

And then Sakura spoke up. “That’s not true. I think it’s time now that you catalogue all of my abilities, Hange.”

Levi opened his eyes. Sakura’s loyalty was never to Paradis, so what he could only assume was that she was doing this for him—because this place was important to him, because he would die fighting for this tiny corner of the universe, and if she couldn’t stop him, she might as well help him.

It was all conjecture, of course, but after all these years, he’d like to think that he knew her pretty well.

He listened to her talk to Hange, who was rapt with attention. He had half a mind to interrupt Sakura, to tell her to stop, to say that she didn’t have to do all of this. But Levi had always been selfish and a man of action, and he wanted to protect Paradis and knew that they had a fighting chance with Sakura on their side. So even though he knew that this would put her in danger, even though he knew that they might take Marley out in mutually assured destruction, he stood aside and said nothing.

Levi is not a man of whimsy and fancy. But as he stares at Sakura lying asleep beside him, he keeps thinking about the purple mark on her forehead that has been there ever since he met her, and wishes he is.

* * *

“You need to…I don’t know, imagine it flow through you.”

“That’s a vague and crappy instruction.”

“I never struggled with ninjutsu, okay? It’s not my strong suit, but it was never _this_ hard. Just try again.”

Levi’s hand signs are still not as fast as they could be, but they’re more fluid than they were a few days ago. Sakura holds her breath when he brings his hand to his mouth, his thumb and index finger forming a circle. He inhales, then blows. The result is a small fireball, no bigger than his fist—but this is the first time he’s even remotely succeeded at this technique, and Sakura screams loud enough to wake everyone who’s undoubtedly sleeping inside.

She tackles him in a hug and they go tumbling in the grass. “You did it! Oh my God, you did it!”

“Hold on,” he says, pushing her off and standing up again. He faces away from her and performs the jutsu again—the fireball this time is about double the size of the first one. One of Levi’s feet pushes backwards and his knees bend as he grounds himself; the third time he blows fire from his lips, it singes the grass and the birds sleeping in the nearby trees take flight. The light of the flames hurts Sakura’s eyes and the heat licks at her skin but she doesn’t move from her spot on the ground, staring up at his back. When she blinked, she could’ve sworn that she saw Sasuke.

Levi returns to the ground, panting a little. “I don’t know how many times in a row I can do that.”

“The endurance will come,” she says, grinning from ear to ear. “Think, though—even pairing ninjutsu like this with 3DMG against Marley soldiers gives you a huge advantage. That fireball could take out quite a few people if they’re close enough together.”

“It definitely improves the odds. Now it’s the two of us fighting a nation, not just you.”

“It’s not like the others are completely useless,” she says. “I’m sure they’ll be helpful.”

Levi tilts his head to look up at the starry sky. “Perhaps.” It’s all he says on that matter; Sakura wonders what sort of disastrous scenarios he’s cooking up in his head.

“So? How’d you manage to make that fireball?”

He turns to her, lips lilting upwards. “I imagined the chakra flowing through me.”

* * *

They have been training for nearly three weeks when a member of the Military Police arrives on a horse galloping at full speed.

It catches Levi and Philip’s attention right away; the soldier dismounts his horse and hastily ties it up before bolting into the building, no doubt to bring an emergency notice to Hange. “Hey, you punks,” he calls out loudly, voice ringing through the training grounds. “At attention.” In a matter of seconds, all movement and sound cease, and the younger soldiers stand around, glancing at each other with confusion. Sakura, who up until now has been helping someone out with a hand-to-hand technique, walks up to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“One of the Military Police just arrived,” he mutters to her, eyes glued to the front door of headquarters. “Something is happening.”

And sure enough, less than a minute later, Hange bursts from the building. She walks with purpose over to them, cloak billowing around her as she moves. All of the younger soldiers salute; Levi’s eyes merely narrow as he prepares himself for the worst.

The commander’s gaze sweeps over all of them. “Hopefully you’ve had enough training with your 3DMG, because we’re fighting some Titans today.”

Levi’s eyes widen. Titans?

“They’re using Eldian citizens of Marley,” Philip says, voicing Levi’s thoughts aloud. Even though he’s standing right beside him, he sounds so far away. The edges of Levi’s vision go fuzzy; he hasn’t seen a Titan in years. For the longest time, he didn’t think he’d ever see one again.

“Get geared up!” Hange commands. “Be ready in ten minutes!” As the younger soldiers scramble to follow her orders, she steps closer to the veteran soldiers. “Once you’re ready, load up the carts with extra supplies.”

“How many Titans?” Levi asks.

“It’s unclear. It could be as many as thirty. They were spotted quite a ways south from the newer villages outside of Shiganshina; no one bothered to do a head count before sending the emergency notice.”

“Thirty’s a lot,” Sakura says, voice just faintly shaking. “And we don’t have any walls to bide us some time.”

“Which is why we better hurry.” Hange sounds grim. In this moment, her demeanor is uncannily similar to Erwin’s before a difficult battle, and it’s fogging Levi’s mind with too many memories to stay sharp. He scowls at himself and makes his way to get geared up with everyone else. He needs to focus.

Sakura easily matches his pace. As they walk, she reaches for his hand and gives it a quick squeeze. The action puts pressure against the ring on his finger, and he thinks about just how much he has to fight for. About just how much he has to lose.

* * *

Thirty was a kind estimate. By Levi’s guess, the number is closer to fifty.

The hoard is close, closer than what makes any of them comfortable. People have built some settlements beyond Shiganshina and the Survey Corps are at the southernmost one, watching the Titans approach. They are slow and unhurried, yet inevitable. The village is quiet—Levi doesn’t know if it’s because everyone is hiding in their homes or if they’ve evacuated. For their sake, he hopes it’s the latter.

“I’ll never get used to the sight of them,” Sakura says. Other soldiers around them say similar things; those who have never seen a Titan before look sickly pale.

They all hold their breaths, waiting for Hange to issue an order. She sits on her horse and stares at the Titans—compatriots, Eren once called them. Frankly, what little sympathy Levi has for those people trapped in that nightmare won’t save them from their fates, so he doesn’t give a shit who they are.

Less than a minute later, and Hange turns her horse around to face them and finally speaks. “We ride forth,” she announces. Murmurs of uncertainty ripple through the crowd. “There’s a forest just south of here. Hopefully our numbers will be enough to deter them from their course.” If they’re able to successfully do that, they’ll avoid civilian casualties while simultaneously utilizing more advantageous terrain. Smart.

One of the younger soldiers raises a shaking hand. Her long brown hair is tied back in a tight ponytail. The lines of fear are set deep in her forehead. “What if they ignore us?”

Hange purses her lips. “Then we face them where they are.”

Just about all of the fresh faces look like they’re about to shit their pants. If they are, they better do it before they reach the Titans.

“Leave the large Titans to the captains!” Hange shouts. “The rest of you will focus on the small ones. Understand?”

No one responds. Everyone is stricken with fear. One second passes, then two—and much to Levi’s surprise, Sakura salutes. Her expression is fierce and determined and her fist thumps loudly against her chest. The other soldiers stare at her, this bright-eyed and pink-haired wonder of a woman, and they salute as well. It seems like her readiness to fight is contagious.

Hange nods in approval and pulls at the reins of her horse. “To battle!”

* * *

Fighting Titans has never been easy. It requires incredible strength, speed, reflexes, and most importantly, an unwavering will. It’s the reason why Levi won’t acknowledge soldiers until they return alive from their first expedition.

That being said, however, it is easier than he thinks it would be. Even though it’s been years, his body makes up for what his mind lacks. All of the movements feel familiar, from the way he swings through the air to the way he flips his blades to hold them in his backhanded grip.

He is higher up than the other soldiers. He ignores the screams and wails he hears below him.

In his periphery, he sees a Titan, around twelve meters tall, toppling over and he knows it’s Sakura. It seems like she hasn’t forgotten either, and she still forgoes the 3DMG for her own abilities. Levi doesn’t deny that it’s helpful; the mere ability to stand on a vertical surface takes away some strength that could be utilized elsewhere. Even using chakra in combination with his blades gets a few more uses out of them when they’re dull as shit.

A fifteen meter Titan is running straight towards him. Levi is ready to push off the tree, chakra spinning in his feet, when he catches something in the periphery of his vision.

Sakura is dangling, held in the air as a mid-sized Titan holds her by her leg. Directly underneath her are two smaller Titans, reaching upwards at her with their grubby hands. Her blade holsters are hanging unceremoniously, knocking into her shoulders. She looks limp.

Levi’s blood runs cold.

He barely reacts in time when the fifteen meter Titan that was charging at him pounces towards him, mouth first. He feels a burst of air by his face when its teeth snap together, and as he leaps away, there’s a sharp sting on his scalp. He lands in the next tree over before propelling himself back at full force, easily reaching its nape after it jumped at him.

When it falls, slain, his head snaps towards Sakura’s direction. The three Titans that had accosted her are now on the ground in crumpled, steaming heaps.

He releases a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, and brings his fingers up to his scalp where it hurts. That Titan’s jaw had pulled out a large lock of his hair.

Levi scowls at himself. That was too fucking close.

In the blink of an eye, Sakura appears beside him, watching him finger his scalp. Titan blood is still evaporating from her cheeks. “You okay?”

_Be more careful,_ he wants to snap at her, but instead he clenches his jaw and nods. “Fine.”

“That’s about the last of the big ones. We should help the others out.”

“How many have we lost?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been counting.”

She surveys the area for a moment longer before deciding where to go, and leaps away. Levi follows suit.

* * *

Hours later, as the sun is setting and casting a warm glow upon all that it touches, Levi stands with Hange on the edge of the forest. Together they watch Sakura heal the wounded while the others retrieve whatever bodies they can find and place them in the carts. His entire body feels heavy and every joint aches.

“There have been two attacks so far, neither with any particular strategic thought behind it.” Hange speaks, but Levi isn’t sure if it’s to him or if she’s thinking aloud. “It’s clear they’re just pressuring us. If they wanted to, they could lead an all-out attack tomorrow and we wouldn’t be prepared.”

“So let’s take the fight to them,” Levi says. “If we hurt them the way they hurt Quinta, they’ll know we’re serious too. We can’t just lay down and take this.”

“We’re not like them. We’re not monsters.”

“We are when we need to be,” he snarls. “Erwin would do it. He wouldn’t have fucking hesitated.”

“Levi.” She sounds like she just got punched.

“If I had chosen to save him that day, maybe we wouldn’t be in this situation right now.”

The look on Hange’s face is enough to make him feel apologetic, but not enough to make him apologize. Levi turns on his heel and walks away, feet falling heavy on the ground. The anger that’s been sitting in his stomach all day remains; lashing out at her didn’t make him feel any better.

He thinks back to that Titan, the sound of its teeth snapping together right by his ear. One second slower and he would’ve been be dead right now.

Dying is easy. Living is so much harder.

He got distracted. He saw Sakura and thought she was in trouble and got distracted.

It looks like the man Sakura’s working on got his leg bitten off; she’s cleaning out the site and closing the wound. She notices his approach and glances up at him, immediately frowning when she sees his darkened expression. Her attention returns to the man she’s working on and she finishes up quickly, uttering to him a few words about how to care for his leg, or lack thereof, from now on.

She straightens up and touches Levi’s arm. “Let’s go for a walk.”

They don’t go so far that they’re out of sight from the others, but far enough away to give them some privacy. Sakura flops down to the ground and leans against a tree, tilting her head back against the bark and closing her eyes. Levi follows suit with a touch more dignity. Simply being with her, away from the chaos, brings a modicum of peace to his heart and helps him breathe easier.

“I’m running pretty low on chakra,” Sakura says. “It’s one thing to be a front line fighter or the sole healer, but another to be both.” When Levi doesn’t respond, she cracks an eye open and peers at him. “How are you?”

“That’s a tough question,” he says tiredly.

“I can take a tough answer.”

Levi’s sigh is long and drawn out. “I’m fucking pissed,” he says.

“At what?”

“Everything. This situation. This war. I’m pissed Eren won’t help us. I’m pissed Hange’s not Erwin. I’m pissed at how weak the Survey Corps is. I’m pissed we’re here at all.” He grits his teeth. “I’m pissed at myself.”

He feels her cover his hand with hers. “That’s a lot of things to be pissed about.”

It doesn’t make the most sense to him. Before he met Sakura, when he was in the thick of it with loss and disappointment around every corner, he was never quite like this. It was always easy to accept the situation. It must be because he caught a glimpse of true happiness—and because it was ripped from his grasp with no warning, no rhyme or reason. And now every little thing that goes wrong makes his blood boil, makes him want to beat someone black and blue, as if that will somehow make things right.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, maybe more to himself than to Sakura. “I’m not the man you fell in love with.”

“That’s okay,” she says, granting him forgiveness like she has endless reserves of it. But then again, he supposes she does. “The man I fell in love with was steadfast and strong. But then I fell in love with a man who was able to adapt in a completely different world. And then I fell in love with a man who never made me cut Sasuke out of my life and got up at four o’clock in the morning to bake cakes and take seafood inventory. And now I guess I’ve fallen in love with a man who’s really pissed at everything.” She leans over until the side of her head presses against his. “I will always love you, Levi. You just have to let me.”

“How do you do that?” he mutters. “How do you always say something and make everything right again?” His chest feels warm, but not in that burning, itching way—it’s gentle, coaxing, soothing.

“You say that as if you don’t do the same for me. We’re a team, okay?” Levi nods, and she turns to press a kiss to his temple. “Also, no offense, but that bald patch on your head is kind of funny.”

He scowls. “I’m the most pissed about that.”

Sakura giggles, and that sound alone gives him the energy to stand up again.

It’s true. He isn’t the same person that he was five years ago, one year ago, or maybe even one week ago. People are constantly changing. And if Sakura has the grace to let him shift from day to day, perhaps he should too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Levi. Coming to terms with yourself is hard. But congratulations on the fireball!


	7. The Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week feels like it has been the longest week, but it's over, and here's a new chapter! I hope you all enjoy.

Sakura wakes with tears in her eyes and an ache so deep in her chest she momentarily forgets how to breathe.

When will the dreams stop? When will she be able to close her eyes and not see the bright streets of Konoha? When will her heart stop aching for her home, even if just for a moment? She longs for the quiet days, the peaceful days with a familiar face around every corner, knowing that she has a home to return to in the evening. She drowns in the desire, the want so deep in her bones, calling her to a place she cannot go.

She catches Levi watching her and hastily wipes her eyes. “Sorry,” she mumbles. “There are bigger things to worry about right now.”

“You feel what you feel,” he says, kissing her.

A few days have passed since their battle with the Titans. It has been quiet, but not in a peaceful way; it is quiet the same way prey listens for its predators. It is quiet the same way a person waits for the other shoe to drop. There is tension all throughout headquarters as they wait for Hange to return from Mitras with further orders.

Levi and the other captains have been busy writing death notices for families, while she’s been outside overseeing training, although it hasn’t been mandatory and their numbers are smaller now. On the second day, Levi gave her a notice, looking apologetic. When she opened it, she saw Jakub’s name.

“I didn’t see it happen,” she said quietly.

“I asked around. I don’t think anyone did. But if he survived, he would’ve managed to regroup with us. We were there for hours.”

“I wish you weren’t right,” she sighed, folding up the notice and pocketing it.

“About what?”

“About him. About how he was going to get himself killed.”

Levi’s eyes were soft. “I wish that too.”

His eyes are soft now as he looks at her, deep in thought. His head is propped up on the palm of his hand, and his other hand reaches out to comb through her bedhead, smoothing out the unruly locks. Sakura is content watching him in silence, enjoying the feeling of his fingers in her hair, waiting for him to say something.

He does, a minute later. “What do you want to do when this is all over?”

The question takes Sakura by surprise. Levi has never been one to see past tomorrow, or even assume that anyone would live past tomorrow. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought that far. Have you?”

“No,” he admits. “But I keep imagining this house.”

“A house?”

“Yeah. Outside the city. It’s stone on the outside and lined with wood on the inside, two stories tall, and there’s a small library on the second floor. There’s a garden out back. Maybe a well nearby.”

“That’s a very specific house,” she says, searching his eyes, trying to understand where he’s going with this.

“I want us to build it. Together.”

Sakura breaks a little then, although she isn’t sure from what. She reaches out to caress his face. “Oh, Levi.”

“We’ll fill the library with medical texts and I’ll take care of the garden.”

“That…” She swallows. “That sounds wonderful.”

As much as she thinks of Konoha as her home, it’s more than that. Home is also with Levi. Home is wherever they make it to be. Things have been so difficult for the both of them lately, and somehow, he’s the one who’s trying to pull them out of the darkness.

The thought looms in the back of her mind that maybe they won’t make it past all of this. That maybe one of them, or both of them will die before everything is over. But this moment feels so perfect, with them lying together in bed, hidden away from the world, that she can’t bring herself to say it. Maybe she doesn’t have to—maybe he’s thinking it too.

“But Levi,” she says, “I don’t know the first thing about building a house. Do you?”

“No,” he admits, although he doesn’t seem deterred by that fact. “First, we survive—then we’ll figure out the rest.”

Sakura smiles. “I guess the rest of it will be easy in comparison.”

The idea of this house is so distant it feels like a hazy dream; she almost doesn’t believe that it’ll come true. But she closes her eyes and she sees it—she sees the library, lined with books and scrolls, with a desk against one wall and an old armchair tucked in the far corner. She sees the bedroom and the worn wooden floorboards. She sees the stone and mortar walls from the outside, keeping the chilly winter nights at bay, and the garden out back, with vines from the tomato plants overgrowing in the soil and taking over the squash and potatoes. She sees days spent walking into town to trade vegetables for meat, nights curled up in front of the fireplace, and every day being so delightfully dull and beautifully mundane.

She wants it. She wants it all. She wants every day with Levi, always and forever.

First, they’ll survive. And then they’ll figure out the rest.

* * *

There are familiar faces, surprising faces at headquarters today.

Hange has returned, and she is seen eating breakfast with Eren, Armin, and Mikasa in the main hall. Sakura says Levi’s name to grab his attention and points at them. “What do you think they’re doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Levi replies, not sounding too pressed. “I guess we’ll find out later.”

But Sakura is curious by nature, and once they grab their food, she drags Levi over to sit with Hange and the three retired soldiers at the long wooden table. Upon seeing Levi, Mikasa bristles and her eyes narrow. Sakura forces a smile to make peace, trying to forget how Levi pummeled Eren the last time they met.

“Hey, guys! What are you doing here?”

In contrast to Mikasa, Eren doesn’t look at all offended by Levi’s presence (which leads Sakura to wonder if their relationship just consists of brutal beatings), and Armin is even excited. “Sakura, Captain Levi! Good morning.”

“We were summoned,” Eren answers in response to her question. He doesn’t sound particularly pleased by the fact.

“Oh, but we were going to come anyway,” Armin says, and then turns his attention back to Sakura and Levi. “It was a government order. We’re to help the cause.”

“Oh.” Sakura thinks briefly about the implications of this, and the relief that spreads through her entire body is sudden and immediate. “Oh, that’s so good. I was getting worried that I’d be the only trump card.”

“I still won’t unleash the power of the Founding Titan,” Eren says through a mouthful of bread. “But my Attack Titan is plenty strong. As is Armin’s Colossal Titan.”

Hange speaks next. “It was decided last night that we will launch an attack on Marley.”

Out of the corner of Sakura’s eye, Levi’s hand stops, freezing halfway between his plate and his mouth. “Whose decision was that?”

“We came to that decision together.”

“I see.”

Silence falls upon the table, the air thick with something Sakura can’t quite place. She redirects her gaze downwards at her food and pushes her eggs around with her fork.

Having Eren, Armin, and Mikasa on their side changes things. Even if Marley has more Titans on their side, Eren and Armin alone can cause a great deal of damage, and Mikasa is skilled and impartial where Eren isn’t concerned. That leaves an opportunity for Sakura’s abilities to be redirected elsewhere, whether it be offensively or defensively. The ball of stress and worry that’s been sitting in Sakura’s stomach for what feels like forever finally loosens a bit. Maybe they have a chance of winning after all.

She looks up to glance at Eren, who’s sitting across from her. All things considered, he looks quite normal, if not a little worse for wear. She had never officially met him during her first stay in Paradis, and it’s still difficult for her to connect this quiet, solemn man with the person who supposedly unleashed thousands of Titans upon the world four years ago—but then again, mass destruction and murder would change anyone.

“I look forward to working with you,” she tells him, smiling. Eren smiles back, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Yeah.”

* * *

Levi finds Hange in her office after breakfast. He knows he shouldn’t be bothering her at such a crucial time, but he feels that this can’t wait.

He knocks on her door and waits for her invitation in. When he enters the room, he has to blink away the image of Erwin sitting at the desk instead of her; his mind still instinctively conjures up the memory, even though it’s been years.

“Levi,” she greets, putting down her quill. “I’m finalizing our battle strategy right now; I’d appreciate it if you could look it over and give me your input.”

He sits down in the chair across from her and she turns the papers so he can read them upright. The report is several pages long, mostly filled with diagrams and quickly scribbled annotations. He reads it quietly, taking in the information, imagining the various scenarios in his head.

“It’s good,” he finally says, looking back up at her. “It’s brutal. It will send a clear message.”

“You don’t think there’s something we’re missing?”

He casts her a look. “Do you?”

Hange leans back in her chair, holding her knuckles to her mouth as she thinks. “Where do you think the other Titan shifters are?”

Levi blinks. “I don’t know.” He’s always been the follower, not the strategist.

He waits for Hange to continue her thought, but she merely takes the plans back and scribbles some more things onto them. He sits and watches, resisting the increasing desire to fidget in his seat. The back of his neck feels hot. With each passing second, he feels her attention on him, even though her eyes are cast downward and her hand continues to move across the paper.

“You’re a good leader,” he finally says, the words feeling clumsy as they tumble out of his mouth. She stops moving. “You’re not Erwin. But you don’t need to be.”

He’s never apologized to anyone before. He’s pretty sure he’s doing it wrong.

Hange’s grip relaxes on her quill, and then she puts it down. “Truth be told, I don’t know how Erwin did it. At least I have an idea of what’s out there. But he never knew, and he still was able to bring us further than we could’ve ever imagined.” Her eyes are soft as she reminisces.

Levi remembers his long nights spent in Erwin’s office, the many hours the previous commander spent poring over proposals and strategies. “Erwin always strongly believed in certain things about the world, even before they were proven true. You two aren’t as different as you think.”

“I’m always thinking about him, and what he would do if he were still here.”

“You’re better suited for diplomacy. He would’ve been shit in times of peace.”

“I think he would’ve been great,” Hange says. “But it’s not like we’re at peace anymore, are we?” It’s then that she finally looks Levi in the eye, and something in him knows that she’s forgiven him. He doesn’t know how she accepted or even understood his shitty apology, but he’s thankful for it.

“Your plan is thorough,” he says, pushing his chair back and standing up. “And you’re flexible on the battlefield.”

Hange raises her eyebrows. “Levi, are you…trying to comfort me?”

He scowls. “In your fucking dreams.”

“I don’t know, that sounded pretty comforting to me. Your time with Sakura has turned you into a big softie, hasn’t it?”

He doesn’t spare her another comment and leaves the room.

* * *

They spend the entirety of the next day packing. Gear, gas, blades, rifles, Thunder Spears, explosives—anything the might need in a moment of emergency, they pack, with a little extra to be safe. It’s been a long time since they’ve prepared for a mission this way.

“That’s a lot of wiring and explosives,” Oluo had commented when they were preparing for the 57th Expedition. “What’s it for?”

“I don’t question what Erwin has planned for us,” Levi had said. “Do you?”

“No, of course not. It just seems like a lot, I guess.”

It wasn’t enough to save him, was it? Annie escaped their trap and killed them all.

Levi doesn’t know what prompts this memory. He blinks it away and barks at a soldier to find more ammo.

It’s getting a little chillier now. The air has a bite to it and the days are getting shorter; the darkness will be on their side when they wait for the first ships to dock in the morning. Levi thinks again about Hange’s plans.

Fighting humans is inherently so different from Titans. At least Titans are predictable. Humans are underhanded, cunning, adaptable. Hange is of the belief that they won’t unleash Titans in their own territory and put their own citizens at risk, but Levi isn’t so sure about that.

When he pulls himself from his thoughts, he sees Sakura approach him. “Why do you guys have hardly any medical supplies?” she grumbles. “Do all of you think I’m a miracle worker with endless chakra reserves?”

He casts her a look. She seems disgruntled, at best. “I don’t, but they do. And we have no medical supplies because we didn’t used to need them. People usually just died.”

“Okay. Fair point.” They continue watching the younger soldiers loading up the carts for a few moments before she moves to stand in front of him. She obscures his vision and all he can see is pink and green; she places a thumb between his brow to smooth out the tension there and he jerks away. “C’mon, Levi. I’m your wife, don’t do this to me.”

“We’re working.” He forces his body to still anyway, although he remains rigid—but Sakura doesn’t touch him again. He half wishes she would.

“Well, know that you’re deepening your wrinkles when you do that.”

“I’m not exactly young,” he points out.

“You’re not _old_ ,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You’re still plenty spry. You could probably kill ten people in ten seconds.” Her comment is enough to pull a half-smile from him, and this seems to satisfy her, even though there’s still a hint of hurt in her eyes.

“Not ten. Maybe six.”

“Okay. Six is still solid.”

They chat for only a minute longer before Hange whistles loudly, calling everyone to attention. “We’re in for a long night of traveling,” she announces, her voice echoing in the clearing. “Once you’re finished here, go to mess hall. We have a big dinner planned.” A murmur of approval travels through the crowd and the work resumes, slightly quicker now that they know a feast is just around the corner.

The mess hall smells of ham and roast beef. The atmosphere is light and cheerful, although relatively tame. Have they not had plans to travel tonight, barrels of beer would be cracked open and jovial brawls would have broken out. Levi is familiar with this move; it’s to boost morale, and he’s seen it several times before. The food isn’t for their long travel, but for what they will likely face tomorrow. Erwin had always believed that if he had a say on the quality of a soldier’s final meal, he would make it worthwhile. It seems he’s passed that belief onto Hange.

Levi is quiet as he eats, content to listen and observe. Sakura is chatting with Armin, Eren, and Mikasa about her world. Eren asks about its various geological features, while Armin is more interested in the culture and technology of her people. Mikasa seems fascinated by the idea that Sakura’s people seem to be of Asian heritage, just like her. Watching them like this, it’s almost like they’re kids again, fifteen years old and yet to be fully jaded by what this world has to offer.

He’s chewing on a piece of roast potato when Sakura abruptly excuses herself from the table. Levi glances over and sees that her plate is somehow cleared, despite how much she’s been talking. She gives his shoulder a squeeze before leaving the hall, not turning back to look at him once—the action is provocative somehow, and he watches the sway of her hips as she walks away, his eyes darkening.

“Captain?” Armin inquires when Levi abruptly puts down his fork and follows her.

He easily catches up with her in the hall. “You could’ve waited longer than five seconds,” she says, not accusingly. “That was a bit too obvious.”

They both walk quickly down the hall, steps in sync with each other. “You were the one being obvious,” he says, voice sitting deep in his throat.

“How much time do you think we have?”

“About an hour, give or take.”

The lock to their room hasn’t even clicked yet and Sakura’s mouth is already on his, fingers weaving through his hair and tugging. He fully slants his lips against hers, craning his neck up in earnest like an apology for how he acted earlier.

“Sorry,” she quietly gasps when they pull apart. “I know we’re technically on the clock.”

She’s gotten better at hiding it, but he knows he hurt her feelings earlier. “It’s fine,” he says. “It’s the night before a big battle. We’re both on edge.”

Her hands drop to her sides and she straightens up. Even though her eyes are wet, she doesn’t cry. “It’s just”—she swallows—"it’s just that you mentioned that house and now I keep thinking about it but I also keep thinking about how one of us might die tomorrow—”

“Yeah.” Levi sits down on the bed and grabs her wrists. Her arms are limp in his grip.

“I’m scared. I really want that house and I’m so scared.”

He looks up at her, at her broken expression, and feels exactly the same way. “Yeah.”

“And I guess, I don’t know, touching you makes me feel better, even if it’s just smoothing out your forehead wrinkles. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he says. “Touch me all you want, it’s fine.”

Even though he had already forgiven her the moment her thumb left his forehead hours ago, Sakura only forgives herself now. He knows it’s not really about the public display of affection, but more so an amalgamation of everything that has happened these past several months—the jolt of being thrown back here, the grief of having lost a life of peace, the anger and hopelessness at the thought of having to fight, the fear of not surviving long enough to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sakura has always hoped stronger and harder than Levi, so if he’s having a difficult time, it must be much worse for her.

She settles into his lap and kisses him again, this time with more fervor. He slowly works at the buttons of her shirt, careful not to rip any out, untucking it from her pants and pushing it off her shoulders. It falls to the floor, forgotten. She shifts her weight and leans forward; he lets her push him onto his back, helps her unbutton his shirt when her fingers fumble and slip in her haste.

“I’m right here,” he tells her. “I’m not going anywhere.” Wordlessly, she nods.

For the next hour, he is all hers. He is hers when she mouths at his clavicle, teeth nipping a little harder than usual. He is hers when her thumbs press bruises into his chest as she sinks down onto him, shuddering. He is hers when they rock together, slow only initially. Her eyes are shut tight and her breaths are shallow as she takes what she needs, her hips moving with the help of his hands.

Sakura collapses down on top of him and moans into his mouth as her body locks up and then shakes. He groans at the sensation, barely holding on—but then she rolls her hips a few more times, still whimpering against his jaw, and he loses himself too.

“Shit,” he gasps. “Shit.”

They lay that way for several long moments, chests heaving. Eventually, Sakura rolls off of him and onto her back. When he turns his head to look at her, her eyes are still distant and drifting, but they’ve lost their edge of hysteria.

“We should probably get back out there,” she says. But as she moves to get up, Levi grabs her arm and pulls her back towards him.

“There’s still a bit of time,” he says, smoothing her hair down with his fingers. She gives in easily, settling into the crook of his shoulder and sighing quietly against his cooling skin. Levi wraps his arms around her and holds her, cocooning himself around her the best he can with his slightly smaller body. He commits this moment to memory, because he doesn’t know when they’ll get this again. She easily shrinks herself to fit against him, the top of her head tucking underneath his chin, legs tangling with his underneath the sheets. Levi inhales through his nose and breathes in the scent of her.

“I’m still scared,” she says quietly. He has never been good at comforting people, especially if he shares the same concerns, so he merely gives her a squeeze and kisses her hair.

They get to lay together in each other’s quiet company for a little while longer. He catalogues every detail, down to the way her hair tickles his nose when he breathes. Eventually he forces his body open, unwrapping himself from around her and untangling their legs. Sakura momentarily curls even tighter into herself, as if trying to keep the warmth that he gave her, but the action is brief, and then she is sitting up as well.

They quietly get dressed, buttoning up their shirts and smoothing out the wrinkles. Right before they leave the room, Levi holds Sakura’s face between his hands and kisses her, long and slow. Maybe it’s a final reminder for her that they’re in this together. Maybe the reminder is for him.

When they arrive in the courtyard, the sun has already set and most people are readying the horses. In the distance, he hears Philip calling him over. Levi glances at Sakura, who smiles at nods, before turning and walking away from her.

He steels himself and once again becomes humanity’s strongest.


	8. Heroes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm apprehensive about this chapter because it's basically all action and I'm not good at action, but I can only stew over it for so long before I'm just walking myself in circles. Here you go!

War in this world is a little different from war in Sakura’s world.

When humans are incapable of jutsu and need to survive in a world where Titans exist, they become far more cunning. They become sneaky. They become underhanded. It’s a different approach, but the roots of it feel familiar; although shinobi do not fight their wars this way, they certainly perform their jobs this way. Traveling under the cover of night feels natural. Silently killing a few Marley soldiers to steal some boats is easy. Sakura is brought back to her days of A- and B-rank missions, before she decided to work full time at the hospital, before Levi.

The air is tense as they travel across the sea. The sun is beginning to rise, peeking above the horizon where the water meets the sky, lighting up the world in beautiful pinks, golds, and purples. With how still and picturesque this morning is, it almost feels wrong to launch an all-out assault on another nation. When she glances at Levi, he is staring beyond, seemingly not noticing the beauty that this world has to offer. She lets him be; he has enough on his mind without her bothering him.

When she sees Marley’s skyline rise over the horizon, she blinks the sleep from her eyes and readies herself. Like at the Paradis docks, her job is to kill any Marley soldiers that might be awaiting the return of these boats.

It’s easy. They react so slowly. In the time it takes for her to slit their throats, they can’t even scream.

Once the immediate threat has been neutralized, they quickly unload the boats. The city is still quiet; most people are probably only just waking up and getting ready for the day. Sakura remembers the short amount of time she spent here—those were easier and lazier days.

When Hange first asked her about Katsuyu, Sakura was a little concerned. Would animal summons work across worlds? Would Katsuyu be able to hear Sakura call to her? Would she be able to find her way across the stars?

She did, though. When Sakura first summoned her gentle companion back at headquarters, everyone was in various shades of awe. When she does it now, no one bats an eyelash—and as smaller slugs grow and detach from the main body, each keeping a different soldier company for the battle ahead, there are no shouts of surprise or disgust. What remains of Katsuyu’s main body, perhaps half the size that she was initially, stays by Sakura’s side.

The goal of today’s attack is to send a message in response to Marley’s two attacks on Paradis: that they don’t want to make this bigger than they have to, but they will not back down. Up until now, Marley has acted arrogantly, soaking in their hubris because Eren wouldn’t wake the Titans at the bottom of the ocean. They think that their technology, numbers, and all the Eldians they have at their disposal will be enough to take on Paradis—and in a way, they’re right. Except there is one thing they don’t know about: Sakura.

She is Hange’s trump card. She stands close to Hange, Levi on her other side. Eren and Mikasa stand nearby as well, waiting for their turn to come. The five of them are atop the lighthouse, where they have a good view on their surroundings. The remainder of the Survey Corps is on the docks below.

Hange turns to the little Katsuyu sitting on her shoulder; gently strokes her head with a finger and says, “Tell Armin that it’s time.”

The morning is still. Sakura counts the seconds. When she hits seven, the air spits and crackles, light and heat flooding the area as Armin transforms. The sheer size of him makes her heart jump to her throat—he is as big as the ones she saw during the Rumbling, towering larger than any Titan she’s ever fought before. She can only barely make out the vivid red of his musculature through the steam he’s emitting. Watching him begin to move, however slowly, makes her think that she’s glad he’s on their side.

It is a horrible thing that Hange had asked him to do. With an even expression, as she was debriefing everyone, she had said that Armin’s sole purpose was to destroy. Not to fight or to kill soldiers—only to demolish anything in his path. The collateral damage is expected—in fact, it’s the goal.

Armin’s eyes were wide, the horror clear as day, but he didn’t protest. Afterwards, when Sakura went to check up on him, he had said, “Conflict always makes us discard a part of ourselves. It’s just a matter of which part.”

He drags his feet as he walks, the noise deafening as he kicks into houses and other buildings. People begin to emerge from their homes to see what the commotion is, and it is not long before chaos erupts, the sound of screaming blending in with the noise of falling stone and tumbling infrastructure. Sakura closes her eyes and forces herself to inhale slowly and deeply, trying not to think about all the people being crushed under the rubble.

Levi had told her what it was like when Wall Maria was first breached, all those years ago. It must have been something like this.

Sakura is always high-strung during battle. Every second can feel like minutes—and right now, when her only job is to wait, it feels like an eternity passing her by. Levi and Hange are calm on either side of her, watching with careful eyes. Sakura is sure they’ve been in this situation several times before she ever met them, standing by while the world is falling apart around them.

It feels much longer than what it actually is before retaliation strikes. Marley soldiers, dressed in their navy blue uniforms and rifles in their arms. Armin continues on his rampage, undisturbed, while their enemies charge at the Survey Corps. Sakura thinks they are disorganized, hasty, brutish—lacking all of the finesse that she is used to seeing on the battle field, whether it be from a shinobi’s cunning foresight or the deadly grace of 3DMG. Despite the fact that this country has utilized Titans as a form of weaponry for years, it’s clear that these people have never actually been on the receiving end of that horror.

Following the strategy that was discussed with the Survey Corps, Sakura begins to form seals with her fingers. There are a lot of Marley soldiers—she hopes she can get them all, or else their comrades down below will have to catch the stragglers.

As the genjutsu falls into place, the movement down below slows to a halt. In their attackers’ minds, they’re still charging, but in reality their bodies slowly drop to the ground. Once the illusion is set, it feels like Sakura has the wind knocked from her lungs; even though it was a simple genjutsu, the sheer number of people she had to place it on took a chunk of her chakra. She still has more stored away, but she wants to use it sparingly as she’s also in charge of healing.

For what is supposed to be a battle, it is unnervingly quiet below. Sakura counts the seconds, the breaths, the heartbeats.

An agonizing minute passes and Hange speaks to Mikasa. “Go. Be quiet, be quick.” Mikasa nods and shoots out her cables, flying through the buildings with her 3DMG, a small Katsuyu clinging to her shoulder. Sakura watches her quickly retreating figure; depending on what happens with Mikasa, things could be over very quickly, or they could drag out for much longer.

Armin is much further away now but still completely visible. He leaves destruction in his wake as he walks with slowly swinging legs. He’s purposely dragging his feet on the ground to kick up as much as he can—Sakura thinks about him, his sweet smile and golden hair, and hurts on his behalf.

Several blocks to their left, beyond some untouched buildings, lightning cracks in the air. It’s in the direction that Mikasa went in.

“Mikasa says it’s the Armored Titan,” Katsuyu reports shortly afterwards.

Hange only thinks for a second. “Eren,” she says. “Go. Mikasa needs to get past him.”

The young man nods and leaves on his 3DMG, and then three are left.

Beside Sakura, Levi says, “It’s not Reiner, is it?”

Hange shakes her head. “It shouldn’t be. Thirteen years have passed for him.”

The conversation means less to Sakura than it does to them; she understands the curse, but can’t put a face to Reiner’s name. Levi has only said a little about him in the past—just that he’s a bastard, a traitor, and that Levi couldn’t manage to kill him when he had the chance.

Her jaw is sore but she can’t stop grinding her teeth. She continues to wait.

* * *

Katsuyu gives constant updates as Eren fights the Armored Titan.

“He’s strong, but Eren is fast. Eren is holding his own, but Mikasa seems unwilling to leave him to fight on his own.”

Hange chews on her thumbnail as she thinks. Levi places his hands on the triggers of his gear. “I’ll go and provide backup.” Although Mikasa is skilled and Eren has held his ground against Reiner before, there’s no telling what the human inside the Armored Titan is capable of. Levi stands, waiting for Hange’s permission.

But it’s Sakura who speaks up next. “I should be the one to go.” She looks determined and unswayable. “Katsuyu’s acid will easily burn through his armor. I can win—I know I can.”

Hange levels a hard look at Sakura. “You do know that just because you go now, it doesn’t absolve Levi of fighting, right?”

Sakura swallows. “I know.”

“You can’t always protect him.”

“I know.”

Although there is noise all around them, Levi hears none of it. He sees Hange nod, sees her lips form some words, and he sees Sakura turn to look at him.

She yanks him into a fierce hug, the action so ardent that he doesn’t pull away even though he wants to. While her arms are tight around him, his hang limply by his side. “Don’t be a hero,” she says into his hair, her voice caught somewhere between an order and a plea.

“I’m not a hero,” he tells her. His words are partially muffled by her shoulder.

“That’s not what I mean.” She squeezes tighter and it actually hurts a little. “Choose survival. Choose to live.”

He’s said those exact words to her, once before. It feels like an entire lifetime ago.

When she pulls away to look at him, her eyes are glassy, but she doesn’t cry. “Yeah,” he says, even though he doesn’t know if he can keep that promise. After one last nod, she takes off with Katsuyu.

Levi watches her until he can’t anymore. He thinks of the house.

“Look.” Hange points beyond in Armin’s direction. He looks, and his frown deepens. There are airships.

“Probably to counterattack Armin.”

“You think he’ll be okay?”

He thinks for a moment. “I don’t know. They know where a Titan’s weak spot is, and I don’t doubt that they have explosives.” Not to mention how Armin’s size is a double-edged sword; what he makes up for in sheer power, he lacks in speed.

Hange is quiet for a minute. The airships are still a ways off from Armin; it would take them some time before they’re within range. By Levi’s count, there’s a handful of them—twenty, at least. The more he thinks about Marley’s technology and how unequipped they are to handle it, the less confident he feels.

“I need you and Philip’s team to go,” Hange decides. “Use Armin for the height. Get onto those ships. If you destroy their engines, the people on board won’t be able to do anything.”

Levi has no idea how to destroy the engine of an airship, but he nods anyway. “Got it.”

“I trust you.”

These are words that he’s been told before, many times by Erwin. Although he and Levi were close, the previous commander always had a way of keeping things professional—Levi was his weapon, his trump card, his blade that would carve their path to victory. When Erwin told Levi he trusted him, it was always as a leader to his loyal soldier.

When Hange says it now, it feels different. Levi’s heart twists at her words, at the way she looks at him, at how she’s so brutally honest.

“Whatever,” he says, brushing past her. “You better not die.” He jumps off the ledge of the lighthouse to find Philip and relay their next orders.

As tempted as he is to look back at her one last time, he does not.

* * *

With an angry shout, Sakura grabs one of the Armored Titan’s legs and pulls hard enough for him to lose his balance and fall over. He goes crashing into a large pile of rubble that was, up until a few minutes ago, a restaurant.

He’s smart. After Katsuyu’s initial acid attack melted the majority of his armor but missed his nape, he crystalized his weak spots and managed to avoid Sakura and Eren’s attacks until most of his armor has regenerated. The steam is mostly gone now that the majority of his body has healed, but Sakura’s move has him lying on his back. He lifts his head sluggishly.

“Mikasa, go!” Sakura shouts. “We can handle this!”

Mikasa, who she’s so used to seeing either very composed or some level of angry at Levi, now appears worried as she looks at Eren. He can’t speak in his Titan form, but his eyes are determined and unafraid. He roars once at Mikasa, and even though there are no discernable words, she seems to understand; her brow relaxes and she nods, before swinging away on whatever buildings remain standing. The Armored Titan is still recovering from his fall and she easily moves past him.

Sakura glances at him before glancing up at Eren. They’ve never fought together before and it shows—they take turns attacking, never utilizing teamwork. It doesn’t help that he can’t actually communicate with her right now.

She flash-steps up to his shoulder and gets close to his ear. “Okay, here’s my plan.”

She speaks quickly, eyes never leaving the Armored Titan once. He’s beginning to stand, picking himself up from the rubble, looking a little dizzy but otherwise unhurt. When she finishes, she feels Eren nod. Her hands tighten into fists. This is an exercise of trust—trust in him that he will commit to the fight, trust in her that she won’t bulldoze her way through with her strength and kill him along with the Armored Titan. It’s not the best situation to have to work with someone for the first time, but then again, life is rarely ideal.

Sakura flash-steps to a nearby building to give Eren space and hopes that this plan is good enough.

“Sakura-sama.” Katsuyu slithers close, voice gentle. “Airships are attacking Armin. Levi and some others are going to back him up.”

Sakura turns to look behind her. Sure enough, like Katsuya had said, there is a group of airships flying in Armin’s direction. Her vision of his huge Titan form is skewed by both smoke and steam, but it’s still easy to see that he’s still a large target. The airships will have no trouble finding him and zeroing in on his nape. She can’t see Levi or anyone else—she wants to be worried about him, _is_ worried about him, but she doesn’t have the time to think about it.

She knows he’s strong. He was strong before she met him, and he’s even stronger now. But her heart has always been the louder voice, drowning out logic and reason, so even though she knows Levi is humanity’s strongest, she can’t keep her stomach from doing nauseous flips.

Her thoughts are brought back to the present at the sound of Eren falling to the ground. The Armored Titan caught him in a hard uppercut and sent him flying.

_Get up,_ she urges quietly, though Eren doesn’t need telling. It’s like he’s done this before: he instinctively knows that the Armored Titan’s joints are its weak points and fights more with strategy than with brute force. Both of them have taken hits, but Eren is slowly gaining the upper hand. His green eyes are intent, watching, calculating.

“More Marley soldiers have arrived at the docks,” Katsuyu tells her. “Hange-sama wants you to stay here.”

“But my genjutsu,” Sakura says. “I can render them all useless.”

“Hange-sama says that one Titan shifter is more dangerous than a group of regular humans. She wants you and Eren to keep him alive if you can, and bring him back once you’ve neutralized him.”

Sakura purses her lips. “Okay.” Eren now has the Armored Titan in a crushing chokehold. “Be ready, Katsuyu.”

“Yes, Sakura-sama.”

The two Titans are still in their battle of strength. Eren has his weight on the Armored Titan and his arm around his neck. After a few moments, the Armored Titan pushes one of his feet back for leverage and grabs onto Eren’s arm around his neck; using gravity to his advantage, he crouches and throws Eren over his shoulder. Eren lands with a mighty crash, stone and earth crumbling underneath him.

Before Sakura has time to panic, Eren’s legs shoot up, catches the Armored Titan by the neck and pulls him down too. The two Titans scuffle in a mess of limbs and strained roars, until finally Eren has him pinned down on his front. Eren turns to Sakura, and even though he doesn’t use words, she knows from the look in his eyes that it’s time.

But he’s still in the way. There’s no way for Katsuyu’s attack to avoid him as long as he’s holding the Armored Titan down like that. Sakura’s eyes are wide as she thinks, weighing the options. Each second that passes feels so much longer than it actually is, and as time continues on, Eren struggles more to keep him pinned down. He roars at Sakura, urging her on, eyes hard with determination—and Sakura remembers the young man that Levi used to describe, unafraid of the journey he must take to reach his goal. He’s not unlike a man she used to love.

“Now, Katsuyu,” she says.

The slug hesitates. “But…”

“Eren will be fine. Avoid his nape and he’ll be fine. C’mon, hurry!”

Her summons does as she’s told. Sakura is already in the air as Katsuyu spits her acid at the Titans.

The toxic yellow fluid burns through both Eren and the Armored Titan, and Sakura wastes no time to slice off the Armored Titan’s limbs now that her blades can cut through him. Eren rolls off of him, half of his torso and one of his legs completed corroded through and steaming, but she pays him no need.

With chakra in her feet, she flash-steps to the Armored Titan’s nape where some acid is burning through the tough armor, and slices.

* * *

Levi has always felt strong when he uses 3DMG. Even in the shitty hellhole where he grew up, flying through the buildings gave him a sense of power as he soared high above everyone else despite the fact that he was still underground. He felt the same even when fighting Titans because they’re slow and stupid.

When he looks high above at the airships now, that feeling doesn’t come.

He’s seen these airships before and has fought the people who are on them, but he has never actually taken down the vessels. Marley technology is something beyond his understanding, with buttons and contraptions that send signals and messages that he can’t hear or see. Levi doesn’t like things that he can’t tangibly comprehend.

Armin lets them be as they use him to gain height, shooting hook after hook into his flesh. Levi only stops when he reaches the top of his head, staring at the airships flying ever closer. If he looks closely, he can see soldiers preparing cannons through the open hatches.

“They’re surrounding Armin from all directions,” Philip shouts over the whirring noise of the engines from Armin’s shoulder. “There’s no way to avoid getting his nape blasted open.”

Levi turns to the airship directly behind Armin. “Tell Armin to emit steam from his body!” he shouts back. The airships are just out of reach even with their 3DMG—Marleyan soldiers seem to know the limits of their gear. If the ship that has a direct line of sight on Armin’s nape manages to blast their cannons, they’re as good as dead.

He looks around at the comrades around him. They’re all staring at the airships, helpless because they’re too far away, afraid because the cannons aren’t far away enough. Armin could feasibly hit a lot of them with a swipe of his arm, but he probably wouldn’t hit them all, and definitely not fast enough either. And once he begins emitting steam, he’ll be rendered immobile as well. They haven’t even begun yet and the situation has already gone to shit.

His jaw tightens. “You better hold on tight,” he tells Katsuyu who’s on his shoulder. The little slug makes a nod of affirmation.

Levi gathers his chakra in his feet and flash-steps as far as he can. His jaw tightens—not far enough. He flash-steps again and he’s a little bit closer, but he still hasn’t closed the distance enough to use his 3DMG. Three steps is his limit—he better make it.

His cloak whips around him in the wind and there is nothing below to catch him; he flash-steps a third time, and before gravity takes hold, he shoots his hooks out towards the airship that is aiming cannons at Armin’s nape. Every muscle in his body screams with exertion and all he can hear is the white noise of the blood in his ears.

The first hook hits metal and deflects off. The second one almost doesn’t make it. But just as he begins to fall, the second cable wraps tightly around one of the ropes of the ship, and he swings instead.

Levi expels gas from his tanks, retracts the cable, and flies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You heard Sakura, Levi. Don't go being a hero.


	9. Choices

The man inside the Armored Titan is not even a man. It’s a boy, no older than sixteen, and the sight of his young face makes Sakura hesitate before she slices into his limbs and cuts him out. Sixteen isn’t _that_ young, she has to tell herself. She’s killed countless of people by the time she was sixteen.

He’s unconscious as she pulls him up. His body is deceptively lithe compared to his Titan form; she hoists him with ease and jumps down to the cobblestone ground.

Eren joins her not long after, the veins bulging red under his eyes. “Sorry about the acid,” she tells him apologetically.

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. What’s important is that we got him.”

“Let’s bring him back to Hange.”

They only make it a few blocks when the air cracks with fire once again. It’s in the direction of the docks—fear strikes Sakura and she begins to run with the unconscious boy over her shoulder, chakra in her feet. Eren can only keep up with her because of his 3DMG.

The fear of her comrades being wiped out by another shifter is quickly replaced by a different fear altogether when she sees the Titan coming at them from down the street. It’s small and nimble and runs on all fours with a mouth so big it accommodates an abnormal amount of teeth. She stops in her tracks to think quickly. The shifter is likely coming for the boy Sakura currently has slung over her shoulder.

“Eren, take him and bring him back to Hange.” She shoves the boy into Eren’s arms before he can protest.

“But—”

“I’ll be fine. Trust me.” She nods, determined. “I’ve got Katsuyu and a whole bunch of other tricks that you haven’t even seen yet. Get this guy back to Hange—if I need backup, I’ll let you know through Katsuyu.”

Eren only looks at her with uncertainty for a moment longer before shifting the boy until he’s on his back. It helps, Sakura thinks, that they don’t share a close bond with each other—it’s no skin off his back if she dies. He escapes through a back alley and leaves her easily, much easier than Mikasa leaving him earlier. Much easier than Sakura and Levi leaving each other earlier.

Her heart jumps at the thought of Levi. Is it okay? Is he alive?

He must be. He has to be.

Sakura doesn’t have time to think about him, because this new Titan is almost upon her. It’s much faster than the Armored Titan, but it’s also smaller—Sakura could almost convince herself that this is a shinobi with a bloodline limit. Thinking about it that way makes her push a foot back and bend her knees in preparation.

At the end of the day, every Titan is still a human. And when the humans of this world meet Sakura for the first time, they all, without a doubt, underestimate her.

* * *

They don’t stand a chance once he reaches them.

There are four Marley soldiers aboard the airship, and it only takes a little more than four seconds to kill them. Hange is not playing around, so neither is Levi—if the point of their attack is to tell Marley that they will not be pushed around, then he will gladly deliver that message.

After the last soldier falls, he looks around. It’s bigger in here than he had originally thought. There are long couches and plush armchairs, and even an ornate coffee table with empty teacups on it. Levi’s scowl deepens; he hates to think that these fuckers were just enjoying a little break on their way over to Armin before loading up the cannons.

He moves quickly, peeking into every room he comes across. Most are sleeping quarters, although he also finds a kitchen and a washroom. Finally, he finds what he assumes is the main navigation area. At least, that’s what he thinks it is, because it’s at the front of the ship and the windows are big enough for him to have a clear view of everything in front of him. There is a large panel of buttons and levers; he has no idea what any of them do. Some of the lights are on, and some of them are blinking.

Amidst the constant whirr of the airship, Levi stops and thinks.

If every ship maintains the distance they’re at now, there is no way the others will be able to reach them and take them down. Armin’s steam will lower the ships’ visibility and hopefully push them further away, and Levi has until Armin runs out to do something about them. If he’s not fast enough, they’ll eventually fire their cannons, and his comrades will either avoid the blasts or die—either way, Armin will be a lost cause. Levi won’t be able to take all of them out in time once the cannons are loaded.

Levi considers the panel in front of him. There is something that is similar to handles, reminding him of the reins of a horse. Beside it is a large lever that can be shifted vertically.

He doesn’t know the details of driving an airship, but he can guess what these main controls do.

Steam bursts from Armin and the ship rumbles. The room darkens from the steam obscuring the morning sun, and Levi grabs hold of the cushioned seat to keep from falling over.

Before he gets blown away, he sits down in front of the reins and gives the lever on the floor an experimental push with his foot. The entire ship gives a slow lurch forward.

He thought he would feel emboldened, but instead he feels a sense of urgency. Defeat is not an option. Death is not an option. He needs to win and he needs to survive—he needs to return to Sakura.

Levi pushes his foot flat to the floor, flies his ship through the steam and crashes it into the one in front of him.

* * *

Sakura narrowly misses having her head bitten off when she hears an explosion.

In the distance, near Armin who is now emitting steam, she sees airships falling out of the sky, leaving a trail of smoke behind them. Her heart twists.

This smaller Titan is faster than the Armored Titan; Katsuyu can’t get a clean hit on it with her acid. The closest she got was the first time, but even then, the acid didn’t hit all four limbs and it was able to get away. The Titan and Sakura have been circling each other for several long minutes, trying to gauge each other’s abilities, neither yet making the first catastrophic move—and now airships are crashing and she is distracted.

The Titan’s jaw is unnervingly big. It has so many teeth. While its arms and legs are short and pose no real threat to her, its mouth is the real weapon.

Its left shoulder is steaming, both from acid corrosion and regeneration, but that doesn’t slow it down. Sakura tears her mind off thoughts of Levi plummeting to the earth below him and returns to the present, lest that be the last time she thinks about him ever again.

The Titan is looking impatient. It’s probably worried about the boy Eren took with him. The longer Sakura stalls it, the more likely Eren will return to Hange, where the majority of their forces are. Once that happens, the chances of this Titan getting its comrade back is slim.

Sakura’s mind spins. Would genjutsu work on a shifter in their Titan form? Should she trap it in a water jutsu? Go the offensive route and use fire instead? Or should she stick with close range combat, which is both her and the Titan’s fighting style of choice? It could be risky. It’s bigger than her, and that jaw is something fierce. Maybe she could sever the its nerves and inhibit its mobility—

She pushes down with her feet and launches herself into the air as the it leaps at her, teeth bared.

There’s no time to think. She’ll cycle through her ideas, starting with the nerves.

Sakura focuses some chakra into her hand, sharp as a knife, and waits for the Titan’s next attack.

* * *

Levi isn’t a man of intellect who will sit down, study, and theorize, but he isn’t stupid. While the battlefield can be an uncertain place, there are also moments where things are so clear.

What is clear to him is that the biggest part of Marley’s airships isn’t made of metal, but cloth, which means that it’s unlikely that its purpose is to hold equipment or soldiers. And if that’s not the case, then Levi can only assume that the structure is critical for the ships to function properly.

Cloth is a weak material. Far weaker than a Titan’s nape. The fabric slices up easily under his blades as he flies through the air with the use of his 3DMG, enhanced by his flash-stepping.

Levi should feel tired. He’s never done so much flash-stepping in such a short period of time, but with Katsuyu on his shoulder, Sakura’s chakra periodically replenishes him. It’s a comfort for him, because as long as she’s giving him chakra, she’s still alive, and as long as she’s still alive, he still has something worth surviving for. He knows his comrades are watching him in awe from Armin’s shoulders as he moves in and out of the scalding steam, but he doesn’t have the luxury to see; he’s too busy estimating distances, shooting hooks, and using his chakra so he doesn’t plummet to his death. He’s not like the shinobi of Sakura’s world—using chakra is not yet second nature to him.

He’s slowly making his way through the line of airships surrounding Armin’s head. After crashing the first two, he slashed his way through two more and is making his way to the next one. He’s made it a quarter of the way around the shoulder, now near Armin’s left ear; he’s only beginning to feel like there’s a chance of winning when he hears the first round of cannons, the sound roaring in the sky.

They’re shooting blind.

Levi grits his teeth and scowls. He’s fast, but there are so many of them and he’s essentially a man trying to fly. This isn’t practical, but he can’t think of another way. He can only hope that none of their shots landed where they were supposed to, but there’s no way to know from where he is.

He lands in the next airship and kills the soldiers on board. Now knowing exactly where the navigation room is, he runs until he reaches it to drive the ship back towards Armin’s nape. There, he’ll reconvene with the others.

His driving his subpar at best, but it gets the job done; he ends up close enough to Armin that his comrades join him on the ship. Levi meets them at the hatch.

“Is everyone okay? Did Armin get hit?”

“We’re all fine,” Philip answers as he climbs on, admiration in his eyes. “It’s a miracle no one got hit. You’re incredible! How do you do all of that—”

“You really think now’s the time for that conversation?” Levi asks. “We’re going to move away from Armin’s nape and attack the remaining ships. Be ready. Once they’re close enough, board them. Crash them, kill them, I don’t care, just stop them.”

Another round of cannon blasts deafens his ears.

Now that he’s not alone, things seem faster, more chaotic. He drowns in the noise of people’s voices, of the clang of metal, of constant footsteps and questions and answers and orders. Levi half explains the controls of the ship to some kid and returns to the hatch to fight. That’s where he’s meant to be: with the rest of them. He was never supposed to be a leader. He was never meant to inspire, never meant to be their strongest. He’s always been one of them, hacking and slashing and getting his hands dirty.

He’s suspended in the air between flash-steps when he sees the ship.

Armin has turned slightly from his original position and there is a ship directly behind him, close enough to his nape that they won’t miss. The propellers are spinning so quickly to counteract the force of his steam that Levi’s eyes can’t follow the blades.

Fuck. They missed that ship somehow. He sees the cannons in the hatch—sees the soldiers lighting the fuses. He’s the closest one to them, and even then he’s not very close. He could probably flash-step quick enough but he’s only one person—there are four cannons total lining the hatch and there’s no way he could stop all of them from firing without getting himself killed.

The fuses burn, quick. It’s a split second calculation for Levi.

When the cannons fire, one after another, the air splits four times with the sound, and he is nowhere near them. They’re so loud his ears ache. He flies towards Armin’s exposed nape where smoke and steam is rising, and he can already feel the dread heavy in his stomach.

Before he reaches Armin, a second round fires, and he doesn’t even know from where. All he knows is that they’re fired subsequently and not simultaneously, and that means a deeper, more precise damage. Levi lands on Armin’s neck and attempts to fan away some of the smoke to clear his vision. Armin’s Titan form, under his feet, is unmoving.

When the smoke clears, so does the steam. He hears Philip stand by his side more than he sees him—does not turn to look at his expression because he can hear it in the “Oh,” that escapes his lips.

What’s left of Armin’s human body, at best, are his legs. Everything is unmoving.

Levi feels numb but he forces his body into motion. “Call the order to retreat,” he tells Philip. His voice sounds hollow in his own ears. “We’re done here.”

He doesn’t wait for Philip to acknowledge his words before making his way down Armin’s already collapsing body.

* * *

Sakura is halfway back to Hange when she hears the cannons fire.

Severing the nerves, as it turned out, was a stupid idea on her part. In the heat of battle, she had forgotten that Titans regenerate—so even though it technically worked, it only worked for a few minutes at best, and then its body was back to full function again. In the end, she went with what she did best and succeeded: speed and brute force. Flash-stepping combined with her inhuman strength and a perfectly timed slice to the nape now yields her with the unconscious young man on her shoulder, intact save for his arms and legs.

She stops now, on top of a building and readjusting the man’s weight to better carry him, and turns to look at Armin. There’s too much smoke and steam to comprehend what’s going on.

“What’s happening over there?” she asks Katsuyu, who’s right behind her.

The slug shakes her head. “I don’t know, Sakura-sama. It’s very chaotic.”

“Is Levi okay?”

In the three heartbeats it takes for Katsuyu to answer, Sakura’s heart jumps to her throat. “Yes. He’s okay.”

She exhales, breathing easier, and continues on her way. The buildings are a blur underneath her as she moves, but she pushes faster anyway—the faster she gets this man to Hange, the faster she can find Levi. Even though she’s too far away to see what’s happening over there, she knows it doesn’t look good.

She thinks of the ring she wears around her neck. She thinks about the years she spent with Levi, sunny afternoons in the training grounds and quiet evenings in the teahouse he created in his image, with his dreams. She thinks about the house.

As she passes some carnage made from Armin’s rampage and sees the blood and the bodies, she holds onto those thoughts.

* * *

By the time Levi’s team returns to the docks, everyone else is there, including Mikasa. She had returned from Marley’s legislative building with the message that their opponents surrender; he’s sure that she delivered their own message forcefully with no room for negotiation. It’s why they chose her in the first place.

It’s quiet. There are still many Marleyan soldiers laying on the ground, unharmed and still trapped in Sakura’s genjutsu, but there are also some corpses. Some wear navy blue uniforms, some wear the wings of freedom.

He lands by the boats in front of Hange, the cables of his gear snapping into place with a metallic clang. It’s mid-morning now; not much time has passed since they first arrived on the boats, but somehow, it feels like an eternity.

Hange’s eyes sweep over the soldiers who arrived with Levi. “Where’s Armin?”

Silence falls. Levi clenches his fists so hard his nails dig into the skin of his palms.

Philip clears his throat to speak, but Levi beats him to it. “He’s dead.”

A hushed exclamation ripples through the crowd.

Hange doesn’t push for details, even though he can tell that she wants to know. “I see. And his body?”

“Nothing worth bringing back.”

She nods, and then gives the order for a full retreat. This is a victory, all things considered. Armin destroyed a large portion of the city and its inhabitants with it. They have the Armored Titan and recovered the Jaw Titan. The Marley government surrendered.

It’s a victory, but it doesn’t feel like one.

Levi sits in a boat and waits, lets everyone else carry the equipment and do the heavy lifting. His jaw is tight and his knee bounces restlessly as his leg shakes. He sees Sakura approach him, teeth worrying her bottom lip. She looks a little tired, but otherwise fine.

When she reaches out to touch his shoulder, he swats her hand away, fast and hard. The brusqueness of the action makes her take a step back as though burned. Levi doesn’t have the heart to care right now.

She stands there for a moment longer before sitting down beside him even though there are plenty of other places to sit. Their legs press together and it feels hot, burning in a way that’s like he’s being branded. He feels cornered and restless and angry like a caged animal, but he can’t put a finger on what it is that’s keeping him locked up.

Levi stares at the ocean and walks through those moments again. The moments when he’s suspended in the sky, noticing that ship too late. The moments it takes for the fuses to burn and for the cannons to fire. The moments he spends choosing between himself and Armin.

In the end, it’s all about decisions. This is the one he chose. Now he has to live with it.

* * *

The next morning, after they’ve returned to Paradis and had the night to rest, he’s in Hange’s office with Sakura, Eren, and Mikasa.

Mikasa is crying but she doesn’t make a sound. Silent tears streak down her face and drip from her chin, and she’s biting so hard on her bottom lip to keep from sobbing that she draws blood. The sight of her is familiar; she looked just like this years ago, when for that brief window of time, Levi had decided to save Erwin with Titan spinal fluid rather than Armin.

In contrast, Eren’s brow knits together as he processes what Levi says. “So you’re telling me that you saw the opportunity to save Armin,” he says slowly, “and you didn’t. Even though Armin was strategically more important than you were. Even though he had the power of the Colossal Titan and held way more value to us than you ever will.”

Levi listens to Eren’s accusations. “Yes.”

Eren’s body begins to shake. “You’re a coward,” he hisses, venom in his voice. “You act so big for being humanity’s strongest. But all you’ve ever done is walk on the backs of those who died for you.”

“Eren,” Hange says, like a warning.

“I never wanted to be humanity’s strongest,” Levi says. “That was a name others gave me. I never said I’d live up to it.”

“Fucking coward,” Eren says again, before throwing a punch at him.

Levi sees it coming from a mile away, but he doesn’t move. Instead, he lets the hit connect with his jaw—he lets his head spin to the side, lets the dull pain set in. He stands rigid, eyes fixed on the wooden floor.

Sakura steps between him and Eren. “Don’t,” she says. “He did what he could. There are bound to be casualties in any battle.”

“You can hit me all you want,” Levi sneers. Rage ignites in Eren’s eyes—rage that Levi thought had died out a long time ago. It makes him look like that young boy he Levi first met in a different lifetime, who lacked finesse and strategy but had all the drive it took to face the Titans beyond the walls and survive. “But it’s not going to change what happened. It’s fucking shitty. But it happened.”

“You don’t get to say that!” Eren shouts, quickly stepping around Sakura and punching Levi again. And again, Levi lets him.

The sound of Hange’s chair scraping across the floor as she stands has everyone stilling. “That’s enough,” she says. Her voice has a sharp edge to it that has even Eren dropping his fist. Levi massages his jaw; it’ll be sore for days. “You’re all dismissed—go take a walk and cool down. When I return from the capital tomorrow, I better not hear that you two laid hands on each other.”

Technically, Levi didn’t do anything, but he doesn’t bother pointing that out. At her permission to leave, he spins on his heel and is the first one out the door.

Sakura follows him, constantly half a step behind. He moves quickly down the hall, knowing that he won’t shake her off even if he tried. She promised her life to him—in this moment, she feels both like a bother and a comfort, both inclinations fighting for dominance in his heart and neither coming out victorious.

It’s only when they return to their shared bedroom that he finally stops.

“Levi,” she says. Her voice is soft.

“No,” he tries to say, although his voice only comes out as a hoarse whisper.

He sits down on the bed. She settles down beside him and tries to heal his jaw. He swats her hand away.

Eren is right. Armin was far more valuable than Levi ever will be—he was sharp and strategic, and he was going to pass on the power of the Colossal Titan. At this point, Levi is just a man who is tired of fighting. But he wasn’t thinking about those things when he chose himself. He wasn’t weighing the advantages of his survival over Armin’s.

Now that he tries recalling the moment of his decision, he isn’t sure if he was thinking at all.

He feels Sakura’s fingers at his nape, gently massaging the muscle there, fingers combing through the short hairs at the base of his neck. “Are you okay?” she asks quietly.

Levi pushes himself to his feet and pulls off his cloak, undoes the top buttons of his shirt. Everything feels tight and his breaths are coming shallow but he makes sure to keep his expression even and his movements steady as he grabs a handkerchief and begins to scrub at a dirty spot on the table.

“I’m fine,” he says. “I’ll be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But...is he actually fine? :( sad things have happened, my friends.
> 
> *phew* and that's the end of the action! Next chapter, we're back to our regularly scheduled emotional conversations.


	10. Dust, Settling

“Levi, come look at this table. Wouldn’t this be nice in the kitchen?”

“We can’t buy a table before we build a house. And anyway, we can make one ourselves. We should save our money for things we can’t make.”

“Like…?”

“A mattress. A couch. Books. Cooking utensils.”

“I guess you have a point.” It isn’t like their time in the military made them rich. While they aren’t paid badly, the government seems to think that once you join the military, you never leave, and therefore don’t need extra money to afford the luxuries in life.

The government also thinks that retired soldiers can’t live in Survey Corps headquarters anymore, but Hange’s been keeping their presence there under the radar while they begin putting together plans for their house. In truth, it’s really Levi who’s doing all the work—Sakura hums and haws and nods at the blueprints as though it makes any difference to her that he moved over the wall separating the kitchen and the living room by three meters.

Levi always said that he wasn’t inclined towards paperwork, but Sakura doesn’t think that’s necessarily true. He just doesn’t like it. But he does it anyway—he wrote reports and filled out forms by candlelight when she first met him, he documented recipes clearly and articulately once he accepted that he needed to hire some help in his teahouse, and now he is drawing up blueprints for their house. While he’s never felt inclined to play nice with others, a solitary activity like paperwork works out just fine for him.

They continue their way through the Trost marketplace, admiring the ornate furniture pieces that they’ll probably never own. Sakura doesn’t mind though—a life with Levi will not be made better with masterfully crafted chairs.

She glances at him as he walks, always a step ahead of her. He hasn’t been acting particularly different from usual, but he’s been quieter, and he hasn’t talked about Armin.

Sakura remembers when Levi told Hange he was dead on the Marley docks. She remembers Eren and Mikasa’s shocked expressions—the way he fell to his knees and the way the blood drained from her face. Sakura is all too familiar with their pain. It’s the kind of hurt that plasters itself to your insides, thick with every inhalation you take. It’s the kind of hurt where you wish for any tragedy other than this. When she thinks about Armin and his eyes bright with curiosity, her heart twists and breaks all over again.

And yet, this is the outcome she prefers. She can’t help that she feels this way and she hates that she does.

The reason they came into town today was to purchase tools. Levi has one heavy leather bag in his hand and Sakura has the other. The sun has yet to set, but she’s already feeling hungry for dinner, and she tells him as such.

They stop by the tavern for some food and she tries beer again—it’s still rancid. When she gags, she sees the ghost of a smile in the corner of Levi’s eyes, although his lips don’t betray him.

It’s been about two weeks since the battle. From what Sakura understands, Paradis and Marley are back to leaving each other alone and pretending the other doesn’t exist. Truthfully, she’s not concerned about the politics of this world—all she cares about is the fact that she and Levi are alive and together. She thinks this ardently and repeatedly when they leave town after dinner to return to headquarters, pushing all other thoughts to the edges of her mind.

As they walk, she takes Levi’s hand. The feeling is grounding and keeps her from thinking about things she’d rather not think about.

( _Cannon fire. Wind, whipping around Levi. What Armin must have been thinking in his final moments, what he looked like after those moments—_ )

She grips Levi’s fingers hard, and he squeezes back.

* * *

It’s dark when they return to headquarters, the building tall and looming and casting a large shadow in the moonlight. The hallways are lit with torches as they make their way to the sleeping quarters.

When they pass the mess hall, they see Eren and Mikasa sitting at a table together, talking quietly over their shared candle. At the sound of Sakura and Levi’s footsteps, they turn and look; Sakura gives them a small wave and weak smile, but Levi continues on without so much as a glance. The two in the kitchen don’t return Sakura’s greeting, but her heart wrenches for them. Their eyes are dull and their lips are set in deep frowns—it’s like she’s twelve all over again, sitting with Naruto in Ichiraku and nursing the agonizing void where Sasuke used to be.

She makes a sharp turn and enters the hall, inviting herself to a space where she isn’t entirely sure she’s welcome.

The tools in her leather bag clink loudly as she places it on the floor beside her feet sits down. “Hey, guys. How are you doing?”

Eren and Mikasa’s eyes are cast downwards at the table. The seconds pass slowly in the silence.

“Shitty,” Eren finally answers. “We’re doing shitty.”

“What are you still doing here? I thought you guys would’ve returned to Shiganshina by now.”

“We can’t,” Mikasa says, her voice sounding like something broken. “There are too many memories there. Everywhere we look—” She stops and weaves her fingers together, white-knuckled.

“I lost someone too, a long time ago,” Sakura says quietly. “He didn’t die, but it felt like the part of him that I loved did. He was never the same again after that.”

“Don’t equate your trivial experiences with Armin’s death,” Eren says, voice like a threat. The words feel sharp, and they successfully cut—Sakura tries not to be hurt by them. He is suffering. “He didn’t change. It wasn’t a part of him that died. _All of him_ died. He’s never coming back.”

There are no words that can soothe the pain of loss, but that has never stopped her from trying. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Mikasa says at the same time Eren spits out, “You should’ve known Levi would do that.”

Silence hangs in the air, heavy.

“What?” Sakura sputters.

“You’re his wife, aren’t you?” Eren’s eyes light up in a fiery green. “You should’ve known. You should’ve talked to him beforehand.” ( _She did. She told him to survive._ ) “In the past, Levi wouldn’t have thought twice about giving his life if it meant winning the battle. Some soldier he is now.”

“Things are different now,” Sakura says, half pleading, half defensive. “And we did win the battle.”

“At what cost?”

Sakura wants to say that there weren’t many deaths on their side compared to their opponents. That her genjutsu gave them a massive head start, and she and Levi played huge factors in their victory. That in the grand scheme of things, Armin’s death is only one of the few and that in losing the Colossal Titan, they had gained the Armored Titan and the Jaw Titan. But she knows it’s not about that. It’s not about splitting hairs and counting the numbers. It’s about how Eren and Mikasa lost one of their best friends.

It was never about how Konoha lost a genin when Sasuke left. It was never about the last of the Uchiha clan slipping from the village’s fingers. It was about Naruto’s best friend, the teammate they both held so dear looking her in the eye as she told him she loved him, and walking away anyway.

No. This isn’t a matter of rationality.

“You’re right,” she says. “It was a huge loss, and I’m sorry.”

“Like you care,” Eren retorts in a snarl. “Levi’s alive. That’s all that matters to you.”

Mikasa straightens up. “Eren.” It’s a warning, a call to return from his cruelty, although she doesn’t seem surprised that he would say something like that. Truthfully, Sakura isn’t surprised either. She hasn’t forgotten all the devastation she saw the day she and Levi were snatched away from this world.

She stands up and grabs her leather bag from the floor in one motion, back rigid. Turning to Mikasa, Sakura bids her goodnight and swiftly leaves the mess hall.

When she returns to her and Levi’s room, he’s poring over some papers. Her vision is just clear enough to see that he’s undone the top button of his shirt, but other than that he’s still impeccable, contained, always held together better than she is.

When he looks at her, he immediately frowns and walks over to her, heels of his boots knocking on the floor. “What’s wrong?”

Except she doesn’t know what’s wrong. Nothing’s wrong, really, but it doesn’t feel that way—it feels like the world is unfair and so much has happened and they have lost more than they will ever gain back. But when she opens her mouth to say this, the tears spill from her eyes and the only sound she makes is a choked sob.

Levi wordlessly pulls her into his arms and she drops her bag to the floor with a thud. She leans into his frame, shorter than her and still so sturdy, hands gripping bruises into his hips as she bends down and cries into his neck. One of his arms wraps around her upper back, and his other hand comes up to pet her hair.

“Did Eren and Mikasa say something to you?” he asks lowly in her ear. She shakes her head. “Then what’s wrong?”

“I just—it’s just—” Her fingers press tighter into his hips, and if it hurts him, he doesn’t show it. Eventually, her sobbing calms down, and she is only quietly crying into his wet neck. “Thank you. For surviving.”

Against her, Levi goes deathly still.

He’s frozen for a long time. When he finally relaxes, noticeable only in his shoulders and the way his breaths slow down, she’s finally stopped crying, but her face remains pressed to his skin, focusing on the feeling of him against her to keep herself grounded. He weaves his fingers through her hair and he pulls her in tighter, in a grip that would hurt if she didn’t know it comes from an open wound deep inside him.

He only says two words, quiet, like a promise, like a prayer:

“Thank you.”

* * *

He doesn’t know how she does it, but in his darkest moments, she always manages to say the exact thing he needs to hear and bring him back into the light.

* * *

Time passes, as it always does. The weather gets colder. New routines are set. Wounds scab over.

Eren and Mikasa leave headquarters. They do so silently and without a goodbye, and Sakura suspects that she’ll probably never see them again, and if she does, it probably won’t be under good circumstances. Hange is still the commander of the Survey Corps, but she’s back to infrastructure work, and the soldiers who once knew the horrors of battle are tasked with work that is laughably menial in comparison.

Meanwhile, she and Levi live from day to day. Each morning is better than the last. And finally, they begin to talk about what comes next.

They haven’t really discussed their future since they landed in this world, and it feels novel to Sakura, like electricity under her skin. For the first time in a long time, she’s excited, and what she’s looking forward to isn’t clouded by the fear that all of it will come crashing down.

One night, in the darkness, as she’s floating on the edge of sleep, Levi speaks.

“I thought about it. I thought about saving Armin.”

She opens her eyes and waits for him to continue, breath suspended in her lungs.

“I was the only one who could. I was close enough and fast enough. For a second, I really thought I was going to do it.” He inhales, pulling the air in like it’s thick and resistant. “But then I thought of you. And I blinked. And then it was over.”

There’s nothing she can say that would comfort him. And maybe that’s okay—because he’s not telling her in search of comfort. Levi doesn’t regret his decisions, however agonizing they may be—he’s telling her because she knows the question has been in her eyes every day since the battle, but she just didn’t know how to ask, didn’t know if it’d be okay to ask.

“It must’ve been hard,” she says quietly.

“It actually wasn’t.”

She strains to see him in the dark, but only barely makes out the lines of his face. “But everything after that,” she says.

Levi exhales. “To not find the aftermath difficult would be a disservice to Armin.”

“He was a good one,” Sakura says, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“One of the best. Probably the most deserving. Definitely more deserving than me.”

“You don’t get to decide that.”

“Neither do you.”

His response makes her feel stuck, and she momentarily falls into silence before saying, “If I were the one in your situation, you wouldn’t let me say these things about myself.”

Levi rolls until he’s on his back, laying as far away from her as he can on the tiny bed. “Some shitty husband I turned out to be.” And even though his words are meant to attack himself, they’re sharp against her instead, leaving stinging cuts in their wake.

“You’re everything I could ever want,” she says into the darkness.

“You should aim higher.”

And just like that, it feels like all the progress they’ve made these past few weeks has crumbled, and they’re back to square one.

But even then, she thinks, he told her. He didn’t keep it inside where it would fester away. He told her. For Levi, that’s something. He doesn’t open his heart to anyone, but for her, he tries. And that’s all she could ever ask of him.

When she moves closer to him again and lays her head on his chest, there isn’t another scathing comment, and for tonight, that’s good enough for her.

* * *

It dulls, but it still comes in waves.

Some days, Levi is fine. They will go about their day and it will almost feel like they’re back in Sakura’s world (but after so many years, it feels like his world too), engrossed in the comfort of routine and each other’s company. Other days, he wakes up and he’s only a veteran, the shadow of humanity’s strongest, who lost an invaluable asset to society on that battlefield.

It’s another weight to add onto the burden. There are so many faces, so many names. He could recite them all and never be finished.

Does a man like him really deserve all this? Does he really deserve not only to survive, but to actually be happy again?

Hange drops by with two small envelopes one day, one embossed with his name and the other with Sakura’s. The red wax seals bear the royal family’s emblem.

The contents of both envelopes are identical: they’re invitations to a ceremony.

“For the success of the battle in Marley, as well as the lowest number of deaths in the history of large-scale conflict,” Hange says proudly. “You and Sakura will receive honorary medals for your outstanding performances, and Armin will receive special recognition for his sacrifice and it’ll be marked on his headstone.”

Levi is familiar with these ceremonies. They’re annoying and stuffy, and this time feels particularly undeserved.

“You can’t not go,” Hange tells him, as though reading his thoughts. “The queen will be there.”

“Historia wouldn’t give two shits about whether or not I show up.”

“Still, you have to. For the people.” She smiles and squeezes his shoulder. “You were incredible out there, Levi. Even if you can’t see it yet.”

He still doesn’t want to go, but looking at her face, at how she so genuinely believes in him, in the words she tells him, makes him realize he’s going to go anyway.

“Don’t expect me to make nice with the stupid old men,” he says.

“I don’t expect you to make nice with anyone,” she teases, a twinkle in her eye. Levi scowls. “Except Sakura. You’re always nice to Sakura.”

His heart twists. “Not always.”

Hange’s smile fades, and then she shrugs. “That’s marriage, right? When you spend your entire life with someone, there are bound to be days when you’re shitty to each other.”

He wants to say that it’s not true of Sakura—that she’s always kind to him, even when she’s hurting. But voicing it aloud makes that fact more real than he wants it to feel, so instead, he waves Sakura’s unopened invitation in his hand and tells Hange he’s going to deliver it to her. Sakura, at the very least, will enjoy the ceremony more than him.

He finds her in the mess hall, cleaning and sharpening her tools. They’re laid out systematically on the table in front of her—kunai first, then shuriken, then senbon. To the side she has her explosive tags in a neat pile and her vials of poison in various shades of yellow and green safely strapped into their own holster to keep them from jostling around and shattering.

Sakura doesn’t need to perform maintenance her tools; she’s hardly used them since arriving in this world, but Levi will see her do this occasionally, and he thinks it’s a sort of ritual that gives her comfort and reminds her of home. She senses his presence the moment he walks through the door and raises her head to meet his gaze, her eyes still the same shade of stunning green as when he first met her. Her smile is gentle and kind, and Levi feels so fucking guilty.

He slides into the seat across from her and holds out the embossed envelope. “For you,” he says. Pauses, then continues: “And I’ve been an ass.”

Sakura carefully peels the wax seal off so as to not break it, and her next words are just as careful. “You’ve been hurting,” she says. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not.” The firmness of his voice makes her look up from the invitation. “I don’t get to take things out on you. I’ve been selfish. You deserve better.”

“You’re not selfish, but I’m glad you think you are,” she tells him, with so much forgiveness that he doesn’t know how to look her in the eye. The words sound familiar, as if she’s said them to him before, but he can’t remember when. “If you didn’t, you would’ve left me by now, and I never want that. I guess I’m selfish too.” When Levi doesn’t respond, she reaches over her tools to touch his hand. “Hey. I chose you, remember? I choose you every day, even when it’s hard. Because a difficult life with you is still so much better than a life without you.”

She is so resilient, and yet so soft and kind despite everything she’s been through. She is sunlight streaming through parting rainclouds, she is the fresh breeze on a spring morning, she is the warmth and comfort of home. Levi will be spending the rest of his life trying to be worthy of her.

But he doesn’t know how to say all of that, so instead, he nods towards the invitation in her hand. “You’re deserving,” he says.

“So are you. There’s no way I got one and you didn’t.” Sakura’s eyes are ablaze, fierce, as if the world could fall apart around them and she would still believe in him. His breath catches in his throat and he thinks, just for a moment—

( _Maybe he is already worthy._ )

To have clawed his way out of the darkness beneath, to have survived the nightmare of being Titan fodder, to have travelled to another universe, to have lost more than he had ever thought imaginable—

Levi blinks, his vision clears, and his face is wet.

Sakura squeezes his fingers tight, eyes wide. He clears his throat and sniffs.

“I’m fine.”

She peers at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” He pulls his hand from her grip and roughly swipes it across his cheeks.

“Okay, but just so you know, I was pretty convinced that your tear ducts weren’t functional up until this point. I could block them off for you if you want, to keep you from crying ever again.” Sakura cracks a smile at this, and Levi has to make a real effort to keep from snorting snot all over the place. “I love you,” she tells him, voice gentler now.

He nods, feeling both lighter than air yet grounded at the same time, endless and yet like nothing could exist beyond this moment, just him and Sakura and the world melting away and despite it all, still together.

* * *

The queen is a small thing, appearing so delicate that Sakura can’t believe she was ever in the military, looking almost like a goddess as she walks, nearly floats into the grand hall. Her deep red cloak trails behind her and the jewels of her crown twinkle in the afternoon sunlight cutting through the tall windows of the hall. Her eyes are an icy shade of blue that reminds Sakura of Ino, her golden hair only a shade deeper.

Levi had said that the ceremony would be long and dull, and it technically is. The men of this world love the sound of their own voices; they’ll talk off the ears of anyone unfortunate enough to have to listen just to feel important. It was like this when Sakura was interrogated the first time she arrived here, and it’s like this now, even though it’s different this time, because she’s here to be celebrated rather than scrutinized and picked apart.

But still. It’s nice, in a way. Shinobi never get recognized for their work back home—it’s expected that they go above and beyond. The only time they’re celebrated is when they die.

Armin is first. Hange delivers a speech about his contributions to Paradis. She only briefly mentions his Colossal Titan form, and spends the rest of the time showering him with praises of his intellect, loyalty, and selflessness; Sakura didn’t get the chance to know him like everyone else does, but she knows all of the things Hange says are true. He was astute, curious, and kind. He was a good person.

She searches the crowd for Eren and Mikasa, even though she knows they won’t be there.

After Armin is given his award, the queen stands from her throne and Sakura and Levi kneel down before her. The queen approaches Sakura first; when she extends her hand, Sakura takes it and kisses it like Levi had told her to. The queen then loops the medal, a cold and heavy thing, around Sakura’s neck before she places a hand on her shoulder and utters quietly, “Thank you for your service.”

Then she moves onto Levi, who for all the world looks like he belongs there, kissing her hand and accepting the medal like the loyal soldier he is. For how much he hates the title of humanity’s strongest, he fulfills the role like it’s his sole purpose, like it’s an inevitability. Like good is all he knows how to be.

Sakura is so utterly, hopelessly in love with him.

“Thank you for your service,” the queen tells him, and his eyes are half-lidded, pensive.

Later, when the crowd disperses and the military personnel realize that time hasn’t made Levi any more of a conversationalist, Sakura asks him, “How do you feel?”

She expects a few answers from him. He could complain about the stuffiness of the event, or the annoying persistence of the people who want to get to know him, or how the medal around his neck is only a symbol and is meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Sakura expects Levi to be in a foul mood, but instead, he says only one word:

“Fine.”

Her eyes flit to the slant of his shoulders, the slack of his jaw, his arms relaxed and folded across his chest. And she realizes he’s being honest.

He’s fine.

A smile blossoms across her face, so wide it hurts, and she steps forward to take his face between her hands and pull him up for a kiss. He makes an muffled sound against her lips, probably in protest because they’re in a hall full of people, but she doesn’t care because he said he’s fine and for the first time in what feels like eternity, it’s actually true.

Levi pulls away and drags the back of his hand across his mouth. “Don’t do that in public,” he says, although there’s no edge to his voice. Sakura merely continues beaming.

Silence falls and she glances at the people around them, whose conversations have died. They’re now standing with their backs straight and heads bowed, and it only takes her a moment to realize why: the queen is approaching them. Everything about her is regal, from the way her hands are clasped in front of her stomach to the way her eyes seem to pierce through glass. Sakura follows suit and bows her head, but Levi cocks his to the side.

“It seems like you’ve really grown into this cushy life, Historia.”

Even though Sakura knows that these two have a history together, it’s still surprising to see the queen laugh and talk to him like they’re old friends. It warms Sakura’s heart to know that not everyone that Levi once knew either hates him or is dead.

The two of them talk and she is content to listen, marvelling at Historia’s easy smile, Levi’s relaxed hand gestures, the way he doesn’t have to pretend he’s enjoying a conversation with her.

Not everything is gone. Not everything is lost.

Knowing that will keep Sakura going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, my friends. Next chapter is the last, and then the epilogue. What will happen with these two?


	11. The Call Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO, GUYS. My favorite chapter. I've envisioned this since the moment I started writing this fic. I hold it near and dear to my heart, and truthfully, I may have written this entire story just so I could write this chapter.

There’s something about the freshness of the sky’s shade of blue that always reminds Sakura of Naruto. The color is so youthful and energetic, much like Naruto himself—and he, like the sky, has always been there for her and has always watched out for her, no matter what she was going through.

She thinks of him today as she walks down the gravel path, two weaved baskets heavy in either hand. It’s been nearly two years since she’s last seen him. He must be Hokage by now.

What’s left of the leaves on the trees are rich shades of orange and red, providing a beautiful contrast to the bright blue above. The world is bright and vibrant today, and yet still peaceful; all she can hear is the crunch of rock beneath her feet and her own breathing, and she is content to listen to those sounds.

The ground begins to slope upwards and she climbs up the hill. She’s walked this path several times before and knows exactly what she’ll see once she reaches its peak: what used to be an empty plot of land, in the spring and summer months slowly gave way to a sparse wooden frame of a house, which was eventually filled in with more wood and structural integrity—and now it’s a proper home, a two-story house lined with stone and mortar on the outside.

Building the house had been gruelling work different from that of fighting a war, but she never minded because she was with Levi.

Sakura’s pace quickens to a jog once she makes it over the hump of the hill, allowing gravity to speed her up now that home is in sight. She can guess where Levi is; once they had finished the house and furnished it with the bare essentials, he immediately began on the garden in the back, constructing garden beds and planning the crops.

“Winter is coming,” he had said. “If we want to sustain ourselves, we’ll need to start planting now.” She wanted to point out that winter isn’t actually that cold around these parts, but he had said with a slightly exasperated tone that plants don’t grow in the snow. At that, she had been too excited about the fact that there’s going to be snow to talk much more about the garden.

She finds him harvesting the pumpkins and covered in soil, and all she can think at the sight of him is how stupidly in love with him she is.

“I’m back,” she says, and he looks up, halfway through cutting a pumpkin from its vine.

“That was faster than I thought,” he replies, standing up and brushing what dirt he can from his pants. “What did we get?”

“Um.” Sakura peers down at the baskets in her hands, trying to recall what the butcher at the market had said. “Beef ribs and flank, some pork shoulder, and he threw in a few hocks for free. Is that good?”

He pulls up the cloth covering the meat in one of the baskets and peers inside. “It’s a lot of meat,” he says, pondering. “I’ll have to salt the pork shoulder. And I don’t know how to prepare hock.”

“Yeah, they, um…really don’t look like much other than feet. Are they edible?”

“Yeah. There’s probably a recipe in that cookbook somewhere.”

“Okay.” Sakura smiles and pecks him on the cheek. “Can we have rabbit stew tonight though? I’ve been craving it for a few days.”

Levi raises an eyebrow. “We don’t have any rabbit.”

Sakura holds out her other basket, still covered in a cloth. “Well, it’s a good thing I ran into a little friend on my way back.” He lifts up the cloth and finds the rabbit that Sakura had slain just an hour ago. “I tracked it for a while—I promise I didn’t leave a nest of baby rabbits to fend for themselves this time.”

“You’re the one who cares about that, not me,” Levi says, picking up the rabbit by the ears and inspecting it. “In that case, we should dig up a few potatoes.”

She beams. “Okay.”

After bringing the meat inside and out of the sun, she returns to the garden, pushes up her sleeves, and helps him with his pumpkins.

* * *

A few hours later, bellies full of rabbit stew, they sit on the floor of their living room together.

“We need a cellar.”

“What’s a cellar?” Neither of them miss a beat as they chat, continuing to sand down their homemade coffee table.

“An underground structure. It’ll be cooler down there, better for storing food.”

“I do miss fridges. I miss electricity in general.”

“And central heating.”

“I like our fireplace though! Don’t you like cuddling under the blankets with me for warmth?”

“I don’t like it when you stick your cold feet behind my knees.”

“Okay, fair point, but I’m pretty sure you knew I had cold feet before you married me.”

If Sakura had to spend her evenings making her own furniture back in Konoha, she probably would’ve had a fit. But here in Paradis, where she doesn’t have a job and where the fighting is finally over, a quiet life with Levi is the only thing she could ever want. They make what they need and trade for what they can’t make, and every day is a peaceful and glorious dream.

This is what they fought for. This is what they survived for. They’ve done horrifying, unspeakable things just so they could be here today. Sometimes they wonder if they deserve it.

It’s been about a year of peace. During that time, Hange has visited them twice. Things look promising for Paradis, she had said—their technology is growing, and the economy is flourishing. It’s enough to make Sakura feel at ease living a civilian lifestyle, and as the months passed, she could see that Levi eventually felt the same way too.

She looks at Levi now, engrossed in his work. His hair has fallen to obscure his vision but his eyes are sharp with focus. He takes everything seriously, even sanding a table.

Sakura reaches up and feels her ring through the fabric of her shirt. Her life is slow enough now that she could wear it on her finger like Levi does with his, but she’s grown to like the feeling of having it tucked away, close to her heart. It feels like a secret. A beautiful, precious secret.

“Do you think we can get an armchair for the library?” she asks.

Finally, he stops sanding the wood to look at her. “I was thinking of a rug for the living room next.”

“Oh.” She glances around their sparse living room. Other than the fireplace, the couch that they had scraped enough money together to purchase a few months ago, and their current coffee table project, it’s pretty empty. “I guess that makes sense. It’s not like there’s much reading material upstairs anyway.”

“But we can get an armchair after that. I think the pumpkins will sell for quite a bit.”

Sakura smiles. “Okay. Can we cuddle on the rug in front of the fireplace?” He shoots her a look. “What? We’ll wash it often! We can bring down the pillows and blankets…it’ll be cozy when it gets colder.”

“…Fine.”

He still looks a little miffed by her suggestion when she leans over to kiss him on the cheek, but she also thinks she catches a hint of a smile on his lips, too.

* * *

Although he tries not to indulge in that part of himself and successfully ignores it most of the time, Levi has always been a dreamer.

He used to dream of seeing open sky above him. He used to dream of the stars, the endless blue, the birds flying forever free. And then he dreamed of what was beyond the walls, following Erwin into every battle, slashing and clawing for his right to live. Although he never knew, back then, if he’d ever achieve those dreams, it never stopped him from getting out of bed every day and survive long enough to find out.

Then he met Sakura, and he dreamed of peace. He dreamed of a world where the nations beyond would just leave their little island alone. He dreamed of a world without Titans.

Levi’s desires have changed several times in what feels like his very long life, but right here, right now, he has no dreams of tomorrow. There is nothing more that he wants.

“Your staring was heartwarming for the first few minutes,” Sakura says, “but now you’re just freaking me out.”

He blinks away the thoughts and returns to the present. She’s peeling the carrots all wrong, taking off strips that are too thick and wasting valuable food, but he doesn’t feel irritated because he knows he has time to teach her. They have _time_ now—if Hange shows up, it won’t be to give them orders and send them off. He has time to show Sakura how to properly prepare food, the same way she has time to help him develop his shinobi skills. That is what they’ve been doing—living blissfully and domestically, peppered with instances of accidental flooding and small forest fires.

“Less pressure,” he tells her. “The skin is thinner than you think.”

“Oh.” She lets up considerably, and suddenly she’s perfect at it. He doesn’t expect any less from her.

He continues to watch her work, only a portion of the meat in front of him cubed the way all of it should be. The evening sun spilling in through the kitchen window makes her glow. Her hair is considerably longer now than it was when they fell into the ocean all that time ago; it spills halfway down her back, and he is tempted to touch it. He remembers a story she told him of her childhood, when she had cut her long locks with a kunai in the middle of a battle. Nowadays, she leaves it down, only securing her headband atop her head, but sometimes she’ll tie it up in a ponytail or even braid it if they’re having a slow morning and she’s feeling fidgety.

Beautiful wouldn’t be the first word that comes to mind for Levi when he thinks of Sakura—strong perhaps, or empathetic or maybe even stubborn—but as she stands over the sink, bathed in the evening glow, he thinks she is beautiful.

“I,” he says, and then stops.

“Hm?” Sakura doesn’t look up. She’s very focused on her carrots.

Levi chokes on his words. For the number of times she’s told him she loves him, he isn’t sure if he’s ever directly said those words to her. Realizing this fact suddenly makes it difficult for him to start now, and he picks up his knife again and returns to cubing the meat.

It’s another quiet evening, and this doesn’t bother them. A lifetime of fighting brings many things into perspective, especially uneventful days. Their coffee table lays on its side in their living room, closer to being finished but still not quite there yet. On the north side of their house is the beginnings of a cellar—there’s still a ways to go before that’s completed, but Levi is confident that they’ll finish it in time for all the crops to be stored before the winter frost hits.

Over dinner, Sakura tells him about all the girls having to learn flower arranging in the academy for the sake of infiltration and never having needed those skills even once. In return, he shares the first time he went to a stuffy military event and accidentally got too drunk on the wine and lost his temper at some Garrison soldier.

She laughs at this. “What a faux pas. Everyone knows not to get sloppy at a business event.”

“I didn’t exactly grow up in splendor,” he says. “I didn’t realize wine was that strong.”

“It’s not, really,” she says with her mouth full. After she swallows, she looks at Levi with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “Wait, are you a lightweight? Is that why you don’t drink?”

He scowls but doesn’t answer, and this seems to positively delight Sakura.

“Let’s open up that housewarming wine Hange got for us,” she implores.

His frown deepens. “No.”

“You can be drunk around me, it’s okay. It’s not like I won’t have some too.”

“Why can’t we just spend a perfectly sober evening together?”

“Because,” she sets down her fork and levels a stare at him, “if you remember Naruto’s birthday party two years ago, I can be _very_ fun after a few drinks.”

Levi thinks back to that occasion and immediately feels something stir deep in his stomach. “Fun” is an understatement for what she was like when they got home that night.

He returns to eating his food, and that seems to be enough of an acquiescence for Sakura to jump to her feet and find that bottle of wine. It’s fine, he thinks. This is what normal people do. Normal men drink with their wives. Normal men let loose once in a while. And Levi, above all else these days, is just a normal man.

His wife returns less than a minute later with the wine in her hand, and although he hasn’t yet found the courage to tell her, he thinks that she is strong, she is stubborn, she is beautiful, and that he loves her.

* * *

Sakura thinks that it’s the absolute best thing that she and Levi have known each other for years and there are still new things to discover about each other.

He’s two glasses in, only partway through his third glass of wine (she says glasses but they’re actually using mugs because that’s all they have) and his neck is flushed and his eyelids are beginning to droop a little. He’s still Levi, all frowns and sharp words, but with a lazy edge now that Sakura thinks is adorable.

She feels the wine too, though not as strongly as him. She’s pleasantly buzzed, everything just slightly funnier than they usually are—including the way Levi is cursing his own feet.

“What the hell,” he says. “They won’t go where I tell them to.”

Straight lines, as it turns out, are difficult to walk in when one is drunk.

Sakura continues to giggle as she walks backwards up the stairs, a hand on the railing to keep from tripping, watching Levi as he follows her. He is concentrating hard, eyes fixated on his feet to make sure that they are indeed landing where they need to land.

“Come here,” she says, grabbing his arm and gently tugging at him once he reaches the top of the stairs. He stumbles easily, bumping into her, but she catches him and places her hand underneath his chin to tilt his head up in a kiss. “I love you,” she whispers against his lips, and he abruptly pulls away and pushes his palm against her mouth.

“No,” he says, suddenly angry.

Sakura blinks. “What?”

“No.” He says it as though repeating it will make her understand. Levi grabs her wrist and pulls her into their bedroom. It’s still only sparsely furnished with a wardrobe and a large bed, but that has been enough for them for now. Once he loudly shuts the door behind him, his hands come up to firmly hold Sakura’s neck as he kisses her roughly, like she belongs to him and him alone.

“I’m supposed to say it tonight,” he says, hands traveling up until his fingers are running through her hair and along her scalp. His voice is low. He tugs a few times at the ends of her headband until it comes undone, falling to the floor with a dull thump, and he grips the roots of her hair tight enough to keep her in place, not that she’d move away if he didn’t. “ _I_ love you, Sakura. I love you.”

She laughs then, giddy, even though a lump has formed in her throat and tears are prickling at her eyes. “Oh, Levi. I know that. You don’t ever have to say it. I know.”

How could she not know, when they first fell together in this world? When he started a life with her in hers? When he bought her that ring?

When he chose to live?

“Well, I’m saying it.” He sounds defensive, slightly hysterical.

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“Okay.”

Levi’s eyes are hard, searching, although for what she doesn’t know. After a few breaths, his expression softens, and his thumb caresses her cheek.

“I love you,” he says again as they stumble their way to their bed, half falling onto the mattress. It’s as if a dam has opened and he can’t stop, repeatedly mumbling the words as he mouths at her skin, pushes away the chain of her necklace and sucks at her neck. He is everywhere, his voice in her ears and his words in her heart and his body above her and he is all that she breathes and smells and Sakura is convinced that it could only have ever been Levi, there has never been anyone else and there will never be anyone else for her as long as she lives.

“Yes,” she whispers into his hair. “Yes, yes, yes.”

* * *

Two days later, the bruise is still on her neck, purple and angry.

“You couldn’t have chosen a more subtle place?” she mutters, fingering the dark spot as she stares at it in their bathroom mirror. “It’s _so obvious_ , Levi.”

“You weren’t complaining when I was giving it to you,” he replies, nonchalant. He is shaving beside her, carefully moving the blade against his skin in short strokes. Sakura has half a mind to accidentally knock into his arm and make him nick himself.

“But I’m going into town today,” she whines. “People there know me. They’re going to ask questions.”

His eyes flicker over to her reflection. “Can’t you just heal it?”

“That’s not the _point_.”

“Isn’t it?” When she doesn’t answer, understanding clicks into place in his eyes. He leans over the sink and rinses the remainder of the shaving cream from his face and pats himself dry with a towel. Then he turns to her, a glint in his eye and his lips lilted upwards, and says, “You don’t have to keep that one. I can give you plenty of marks elsewhere later.”

Sakura’s face heats up and she opens her mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. He looks pleased by her speechlessness. For a man who never told her he loved her until two days ago, he sure can be bold.

“You better,” she finally musters, before swiping her fingers across her neck with a touch of chakra at her fingertips, wiping the bruise away.

After breakfast, they spend their morning digging out the rest of their cellar. The work would have taken other people much longer, but chakra does wonders for manual labor. They even out the dirt on the bottom, make sure the walls are straight, and admire their work. It probably isn’t the biggest cellar in existence, but it is sizeable, and will surely hold all the food they would need for months at a time. Tomorrow, they will go into town and look at what kind of stone to line the inside with.

As the days have gotten colder, Levi has been making more soups. Today’s lunch is a take on chicken soup, with hearty bites of carrot, celery, and dumplings. Sakura truly has no idea how she would survive without Levi—she’d probably just eat raw vegetables and call it a day.

After lunch, she makes her biweekly trip into town for meat. She enjoys these trips, and she’s sure Levi does too; as much as they love each other, spending all of their time together can be overwhelming. These times are quiet moments for the both of them to spend in their own thoughts, Sakura in her slow walk to Trost and Levi cleaning the house to his standards and tending to the garden.

She takes her time today. She climbs over the hill, empty basket in her hand, wondering what cuts of meat the butcher will have today. She never really knows what she ends up with, just trusts that he knows best and purchases his recommendations for the day. They’ve developed a friendly relationship, and on the occasion that his wife is around, she will talk Sakura’s ear off about one thing or another. Normally Sakura would find such conversations inane, but in a life where time is slow and the fighting is over, she doesn’t mind.

It’s another beautiful day today, the distant trees rich with reds and oranges and fluffy clouds floating across the sky. Sakura once again thinks about Naruto, and then she thinks about Sasuke too, wherever he may be. She thinks about how she misses them, but also how she wouldn’t mind never seeing them again if it means they’re alive and happy and safe. That is all she has ever wanted for her best friends.

Her mind wanders as she continues to walk. She thinks about how Konoha is still green this time of year, how it won’t even begin getting cold for several weeks yet—

And then the sky snaps with a deafening sound.

It happens so slow, and yet so quick. It feels like an icy hand has her heart in a tight grip. _Get out of the way,_ she tells herself. _Run. Jump. For fuck’s sake, just move._

But she can’t. Her body is frozen, paralyzed with terror as the ground opens up beneath her to reveal the endless black. In her shock, she lets go of the basket in her hand and that falls into the abyss too.

She doesn’t even finish her gasp before the earth swallows her up.

* * *

Sakura’s spat out in the training grounds, in the exact spot that she was taken away from.

When she lands on the ground, wobbly and winded and stricken with panic, she doesn’t hear the scream. She hardly registers Ino tackling her in a hug, or Shikamaru and Chouji asking her if she’s alright. She is consumed by one thought and one thought only:

She is here, and Levi is not.

“Sakura…” Ino’s voice is laden with concern. Sakura grips her friend’s arms, fingers pressing hard enough to bruise, and she sobs into her chest, her wails so loud all the stars in the universe must hear them.

* * *

For a long time, silence made Levi anxious. It would leave him fidgety and on edge, waiting for the next disaster to strike. But lately, it’s been calming. It makes the world timeless; he finds himself moving slower, unhurried and unworried, rising and sleeping with the sun the way Sakura does.

It is quiet in the house as he waits for her to come home.

Dinner has been ready for the past half hour, sitting on top of the stove and keeping warm. The sun is low in the sky, casting rich yellows and oranges into the kitchen.

Levi taps a finger on the kitchen table. It usually doesn’t take her this long.

He waits for another fifteen minutes before deciding to trace her path. He’ll meet her on the road back—she probably got caught up in a conversation with the butcher’s wife again and will have lots of city gossip to share with him. He grabs his sweater off the arm of the couch and pulls it on before tying up his boots and heading out into the brisk autumn evening.

The sun continues to set as he walks. He traverses the swell of the hill and continues on to Trost, listening to the birdsong all around. The time it takes to reach the city varies depending on the speed; Sakura has made a round trip in under an hour a few times, although when they leisurely walk together, it can take twice as long. Today Levi walks as fast as he can without chakra; he’s getting hungry, and would like to eat as soon as possible.

When the city finally comes into view, he frowns at the empty road in front of him. Sakura is not even on her way back yet. His pace quickens yet again and he begins to jog, a touch of chakra in his feet to push him faster and further.

“Sakura?” the butcher asks when Levi reaches his shop. It’s empty, save for an elderly woman inspecting what little inventory is left. “She hasn’t been by today.” When Levi doesn’t respond, he frowns in concern. “Did something happen?”

Levi shakes his head. “No. Thank you, Anton.” He spins on his heel and quickly leaves.

Although he has an inkling that she’s not in the market, he searches anyway. He checks the medicinal shop. The vegetable stand. The lady who sells dyed cloths. All of his attempts turn up empty, so he checks all of the other locations Sakura knows of in the city. The military barracks. The dress shops. The tavern.

She’s nowhere to be found.

Levi’s steps are frantic now as he leaves the city. Dusk has fallen over the horizon, the remaining sunlight only a faint glow in the distance as he races to the nearby forest where they hunt. He stretches his senses to search for her chakra signature and comes up blank, but he continues looking anyway, leaping through the trees and calling her name. In response, owls hoot and creatures scuttle in the underbrush, but none of that is what he’s hoping to hear.

After an hour, he knows he should stop. He should stop, but he can’t. He scours the forest, and then the surrounding areas, widening his search radius with each sweep. And finally, when it feels like his legs are going to fall off, he stills, and breathes.

The night is chilly. His fingers and toes are numb. If he could see his own reflection in this very moment, he’s sure his cheeks would be flushed from both the cold and the exertion.

She’s at home. They must have missed each other somehow. Surely, she’s waiting for him back at home.

But even as he makes the journey back, his steps are slow, as if his own body doesn’t believe that she’ll be there when he returns, as if it doesn’t want to arrive and realize her absence. His feet drag and his shoulders sag, and with every step he takes, his heart feels heavier and heavier.

When he opens the door to the house they built together, it is quiet, and nothing about the silence is comforting.

Dinner is still on the stove, untouched and now cold. The building is dark. Levi stands there for one eternity, then two, unmoving, numb, frozen. Eventually he brings himself to sit on the couch, and he stares at the lifeless fireplace. Every time he closes his eyelids, heavy with an exhaustion that sits in his bones, he sees her face.

When the sun begins to peek over the horizon, he pushes himself to his feet and walks over to the unfinished coffee table. Grabbing a fresh piece of sandpaper, he kneels down, presses the rough side against the wood, and scrubs.

* * *

_5 months later_

Sakura knocks on the door to Naruto’s office, but doesn’t wait for a response before pushing it open. “I have your food,” she announces, holding up the bag in her hand. In it is some takoyaki, as well as some instant ramen because she was feeling kind.

“Thanks, Sakura-chan! Look who’s in town today!”

She’ll eventually get used to the sight of Naruto wearing the Hokage’s robes, but that day is not today, even though it’s been several months since she’s returned to Konoha. It takes Sakura a moment to notice Sasuke leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, brooding in the shadows as is his style.

She smiles. “Hi, Sasuke. What brings you to Konoha today?” She places the bag of food on Naruto’s desk and digs around in it to find the packaged takoyaki.

Sasuke glances at Naruto. “Someone insisted that I be in town for Hasegawa’s inaugural ceremony.”

Naruto is already halfway through inhaling his own package of takoyaki. “Hey, I invite you to a bunch of stuffy events that you never come to. You didn’t even come to my wedding! I bet you just wanted to see Sakura-chan.” He easily avoids the shuriken that Sasuke aims squarely between his eyes; the weapon buries itself into the wall. “You keep damaging the property and you’re going to pay for the repairs, asshole.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you didn’t spew bullshit every other minute.”

Sakura laughs at their interaction. It’s easy to pretend that the three of them have been friends for their entire lives, as if nothing heartbreaking and horrible has ever happened between them.

The three of them chat for a while, like the Team 7 she had always wished for when she was younger. Naruto and Sasuke bicker like an old married couple and she brings them back with her voice of reason, only sometimes being pulled into their antics. Enough time has passed that they read each other better, that they know when enough is enough—so even though they fight like they’re children, no one will be accidentally trying to kill each other on hospital roofs anymore.

Eventually, the door opens and Kakashi pokes his head in, and it feels like they’re complete. The moment is lost quickly though because the sight of the former Hokage seems to remind Naruto of something. “Oh, shit! I’m late, aren’t I?”

“The daimyo’s been here for half an hour,” Kakashi says. “Even I wouldn’t keep him waiting that long.”

Naruto scrambles to his feet and grabs his hat off his desk. “Crap, crap, crap. Okay I’m going. Sorry guys, I’ll see you later. Ichiraku tonight, yeah? Yeah!” Like the whirlwind that he is, he sprints out the door, and Sakura and Sasuke are left alone in his office.

Eventually, Sasuke asks, “How has he not been fired yet?”

Sakura laughs. “He’s not always like this. He’s actually very charismatic and responsible when he needs to be. But Kakashi being around helps a lot too.”

He shakes his head, looking as exasperated as he possibly can. After a moment, he glances at the door—his way of suggesting that they should probably leave. At his gesture, Sakura finishes the last of her takoyaki and tosses the packaging in the trash.

“How long are you in town for?” she asks him as they walk through the streets at a leisurely pace. Although it’s still spring, the air is warming up quickly, as it often does in the Fire Country. The sun shines high in the cloudless sky, warm on her face.

“Just for a few days,” Sasuke replies. “Konoha isn’t my favorite place to be.”

“Too many memories?”

“And could-have-beens.” He says this like a secret, like maybe she wasn’t supposed to hear, but she does anyway.

“There are still a lot of things that could be if you came back,” she tells him.

“Maybe.” Sasuke’s eyes look distant, staring at something that only he can see. “But I’m not done yet. There’s still so much out there.”

“There’s definitely a lot out there. So much we can’t see.” She blinks, and in that moment behind her eyelids, she sees rundown walls, sprawling plains, and a single house with a single man, all alone in the countryside and tending to his garden. And for that one moment, he feels so close she could touch him.

They continue through town in silence until they find their way to the main gates. “I’m going to take a walk by myself, if that’s okay,” Sakura says.

Sasuke glances beyond, down the wide gravel road. “How often do you go there?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. Too much. Not enough. It changes from day to day.”

He nods, like he understands. He probably does. “Dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

That is where they part ways, Sasuke back into town and Sakura down the long path out of it. She walks slowly, savoring each moment, trying to remember that exact day: how it went, how it felt, all the little inconsequential things they said to each other. She’s so lost in her memories that she nearly misses where to branch off into the trees. She walks underneath the canopy, and less than a minute later, she reaches the clearing with the creek.

She sees the past playing out in front of her. Laying down the blanket and taking off their shoes. Unpacking their food. Gently knocking their cups together. A citrusy yet floral drink. And spending the most beautiful day together, unworried about the passing time. Sakura takes a deep breath in, making sure to hold the air in her lungs long enough to feel it before exhaling. She makes her way to the tree they ate under and sits down against the prickly bark.

Waiting has always been a talent of Sakura’s. She’s good at being alone, at enduring the long nights, at waking up feeling hopeless and continuing on anyway. She spent years of her life waiting for Sasuke, even when he wouldn’t think twice about killing her if she got in his way. Of the many things people call Sakura, patient is one of them. Resilient is another.

In the beginning, during her first visits here, she could only cry. But now she feels calm and lets the breeze brush past her as she closes her eyes, feeling the grass beneath her and the sun on her skin. She reaches up and touches her ring, tucked safely underneath her shirt. Remembers the promise of forever that they made to each other.

And so, under the tree, Sakura sits. And she waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what are we thinking? How do we feel? It's okay, you can yell at me - I would yell at me too.


	12. Epilogue: One Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here! We! Go!!!!

“Hange, do you have any more butter?” Levi searches the cupboards of Hange’s kitchen, frown deepening at the state of them with each subsequent cupboard he opens. “What happened to you helping me cook?”

He’s met with silence, and the only thing he hears is the stew simmering away on the wood burning stove. With each passing second that Hange doesn’t respond, Levi becomes more irritated, and he stalks out of the kitchen and down the hall towards her room, where the door is shut. Unfortunately for her, a closed door never stopped him from entering through it.

He slams it open, and from where she’s laying on her desk that’s covered haphazardly with papers, she springs awake. “I was just on my way, I swear!”

“What the fuck kind of selfish prick are you to make me cook Christmas dinner on my own?” Levi snaps. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice when you didn’t come back from the bathroom?”

“Please,” she moans, “not so loud. I’ve been up since the crack of dawn.”

“ _We’ve_ been up since the crack of dawn because _we’re_ making Christmas dinner for underprivileged children. I’ve been checking on your turkey for the past hour. When are you going to start pulling your own weight?”

“You’re mean,” Hange says, pulling herself to her feet once she realizes Levi isn’t going to shut up until she joins him in the kitchen again.

“I’ll show you mean,” he snarls, and she scurries past him to return to the kitchen, though not without a glint of mischief in her eyes. “By the way, do you have more butter?”

“Nope. That was the last of it.”

“I’ll go get some more from the market. Keep the place from burning down while I’m gone.”

“I just need to keep the turkey wet, right?”

“It’s called basting, dumbass. And prepare the potatoes too. Wash, peel, chop into bite-sized pieces.”

“Titan bites?” she asks, her grin toothy and feral. Luckily for her, Levi doesn’t have anything in his hand to chuck at her face.

He ducks out of her home after buttoning up his jacket, pulling the collar up when a cold gust of wind hits. The streets of Mitras are not the most familiar, but he’s been to Hange’s military-subsidized home enough to find his way to the market. The streets here are clean, filthy rich, cobblestones picked from the best of the best, lampposts forged from the finest metal. They finally have electricity here in the heart of Paradis, and Levi has to admit that it’s nice, especially in the winter months when the sun sets earlier.

Personally, he hates it when the weather gets this cold. Even though the snow never stays for long, the chill is just enough that it penetrates straight to his bone. The weather numbs his body, slows down his reaction time.

Sakura would love this weather though. She always complained about how it never got cold enough around Christmas in Konoha, that it never really felt like Christmas when she didn’t even need a jacket. She’d rejoice at the cloudy skies and the opportunity to bury her face in a scarf and wear boots lined with wool.

Levi absent-mindedly spins his ring around his finger, a habit he’s developed ever since they’ve been separated. The ring has dulled a bit over the years, its surface a little scratched from the constant wear and battering against things as he cooks, works, builds. And still it remains on his finger, like an anchor, like a reminder. Sometimes it’s the only thing that keeps him from thinking that it was all a dream, that she, along with her world, was just a fantasy his mind conjured up to pull himself from the depths of his own soul.

This is his third Christmas without her. He refuses to think about how many more he will have to spend this way.

Although he’s not technically alone. Because for the past three years, he and Hange have made Christmas dinner for children who live in the Underground, which has mostly been rebuilt since the Rumbling. This day is always chaotic, keeping Levi busy enough that he doesn’t have to think about what’s always lingering at the back of his mind: how he is here and Sakura is not. But he still feels alone by the end of the day, sleeping on Hange’s couch and listening to the quiet before waking up early the next morning to begin his long journey home to his lonely house on the countryside.

He pulls his collar up high enough to cover the lower half of his face, weaves through the crowds of people who are likely at the market to make last minute purchases just like himself, and ignores how loneliness makes everything feel colder.

* * *

By the time Sakura finally exits the operating room, her feet are numb and her eyes are only still open through sheer force of willpower.

“I didn’t think we’d ever get that hemorrhaging under control,” Shizune sighs, sounding just as exhausted as Sakura feels. “How’d you know the source of the bleeding was behind the liver?”

“I don’t know,” she replies with a yawn, “just a hunch. I can’t really remember why I thought to look there.” The hours of the incredibly long surgery blur together in her delirious, sleep-addled brain.

She looks at the clock at the end of the hallway. It’s nearly three o’clock in the morning. That would explain the delirium.

“In any case,” Shizune says, “I’m not going to be in before noon tomorrow, if that’s okay.”

“I’m not going to be in at all, so I won’t be around to be mad at you. Not that I would.”

The two women part ways at the hospital’s main entrance without much of a goodbye. Sakura forces one foot in front of the other, mostly on autopilot as she makes her way home. The full moon lights up the sky. The air is brisk. And even though morning hasn’t quite arrived yet, it’s still past midnight, so…

“Merry Christmas to me,” she says into the dark. A heartbeat, and then quieter, “Happy birthday, Levi.” Although knowing him, he won’t even acknowledge it if he can help it.

Sakura exhales, barely seeing her breath in the air. Three years is a long time when she doesn’t know if she’ll see the man she loves ever again.

It’s possible that she could be sent back to Levi’s world again, or him to hers, but it’s equally possible that the cracks of the universe will forever remain shut. She’s always wondered if bringing him here all those years ago was a mistake, that she had upset some cosmic balance when she shot her cable into his shoulder in a desperate attempt to save his life. If, ever since then, the universe had been trying to right her wrong, now that they are both where they belong, they will never see each other again. The way it was always meant to be.

The idea of it is too much to bear.

So she’ll keep waiting. It’s what she does best, and it’s the only thing she can do.

* * *

Levi curses under his breath when Hange jabs her sharp elbow into his ribs. “Levi, there’s a woman staring at you. She’s pretty.”

“Stop being gross. I’m married.”

He looks anyway. She’s young—too __young—long brown hair tied to the side and spilling over one shoulder. Her eyes are doe-like, innocent and holding an obvious admiration for him. When she notices that he’s watching her, her cheeks set fire to an obvious blush and she averts her gaze.

“You’re not legally married, and it’s not like Sakura would find out,” Hange points out, to which he violently digs the steel heel of his boot into her foot. “Ow! Okay, I get it!”

The Underground tends to be extra cold this time of year, buried in the depths of the frozen earth, but the room is warm tonight. Torches line the walls and a number of bodies heat up the air, the children crowded around the long table and a handful of adults helping out with plating and serving the food that Levi and Hange prepared. With the chatter and laughter in the room, it almost feels like they’re on the surface, unworried about their aching bones or where their food will come from tomorrow. Levi hates that he can’t bring these children up above where they deserve to be—he sees so much of himself, of Isabel and Furlan in them—but he can bring them this. He can bring them Christmas dinner.

The children dig into the food, too hungry to thank Levi and Hange or even look at them, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t know how to talk to kids anyway, and they’re honest by nature, so the fact that they’re practically inhaling the meal means that they’re enjoying it. He eats standing in the corner of the room, his plate considerably less filled so as to leave more for everyone else, and he feels, in this moment, content.

The young woman who was watching him approaches him with the demeanor of a timid rabbit. She’s pale and thin; she probably lives down here too.

“The kids have been talking about tonight for an entire week,” she says with a small smile. “Do you do this every year?”

“Third year in a row,” he answers, chewing a piece of potato. “Not sure how long I’ll keep this up for.”

“Well, they love it.” She pauses, and he catches her eyes flicker to his left hand. No matter how much time passes, he can’t help himself from noticing every detail of every person and every thing. There are just some habits that time can’t erase. “You’re married?”

“Yeah.”

Her gaze falls on Hange, and then she sounds disappointed. “She’s very lucky.”

Levi frowns. Gross. “Not to her.”

“Oh. Where’s your wife?” At her question, a lump grows in his throat. He swallows it down and clenches his jaw, considering how to answer her question. He considers not answering at all.

“Not here,” is what he settles on.

“Not here as in…?”

His next words come out edging on feral. “She’s not dead, you imbecile.” The way she jumps at his tone makes him apologetic, though not enough to actually apologize.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply as such.” She ducks her head and scurries away, the way she moves reminding Levi of his subordinates after he barked something particularly nasty at them.

He could be wrong, though. Sakura could be dead. She could’ve taken a risky mission and reacted too slowly. She could’ve given her life to save someone else’s. There are plenty of situations where Sakura could die, all of them equally noble and heartbreaking, and those thoughts haunt him more than he cares to admit. They had left him alone during the chaos of Christmas dinner, but now they’re back again at full force because of that stupid woman.

He’s in a foul mood for the rest of the night.

A few hours later, as he and Hange are hauling empty pots and trays up the long, long staircase, Hange asks, “What did Zofia say to you?”

“Nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing.”

He doesn’t respond, and they continue in silence.

Fifteen minutes later, when the moon is bright above their heads and he feels a breeze on his skin again: “She asked if Sakura is dead.”

A pause. “I’m sure she didn’t actually.”

“She did.”

“Okay, even if she did, she’s young and bad with her words. She’s probably sorry.”

“The Titans probably felt sorry about eating people too, but that doesn’t change what they did.”

Hange seems to understand from his tone that it isn’t really about what Zofia asked or didn’t ask, although he doesn’t know how, but he’s long since known that she’s too intuitive for her own damn good. “Sakura’s not dead,” she says, and Levi’s grip turns white-knuckled on his heavy tray of pans.

They don’t know that. There’s no way for them to know that.

One day the earth could open up and swallow him whole, take him back to the one place he truly ever felt was home, and he could find it cold and empty. Levi used to think about the fighting, about how his soldiers would be gobbled up and how death could come for him at any moment, and now he can only think about all the different ways Sakura could disappear from this life. He’s no good without her, his thoughts are obsessive and they always take him to the worst possible places, relentless and never-ending.

“Levi.” Hange’s hands are full, though he doesn’t doubt that if she could, she would touch his arm. “Even if she _is_ dead, she’d be so sad to know that you’re wasting your life thinking about it.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he asks.

“It’s supposed to make you reconsider yourself,” she answers, voice firm. “Christmas is the only time I see you. You spend the rest of the year by yourself in that house. You can’t be alone all the time like that, you’ll go crazy—hey, Levi!”

He has to work extra hard with his shorter legs to outwalk her down the quiet streets of Mitras, but luckily, she doesn’t try to catch up. When he reaches the door of her house, he places his tray on the ground to fish the spare key out of his pocket. He dumps the dirty kitchenware in the sink and leaves it all unwashed, passing Hange without a word as she trails behind him into the house to head straight to the linen closet where the extra blankets are. He’ll sleep on the couch tonight as he always does, and he’ll leave in the morning before she wakes. By next Christmas, she’ll have dropped the subject and they’ll be fine again.

This is what they do every year. They slave over the meal, they feed the children, she tries to talk him out of being a bitter old man, and he ignores her for the next three hundred sixty-four days.

But something about what she said rubs him the wrong way this time.

_She’d be so sad to know that you’re wasting your life thinking about it._

Of course she’d be sad. He’s fucking sad too—that’s the point. As if he wants to live like this. As if he knows any other way to be.

* * *

“Merry Christmas, Sakura-chan!” Naruto tumbles into her apartment uninvited shortly after noon with Sasuke in tow. Sakura jumps in her seat at the kitchen table, nearly spilling the steaming mug of tea in her hand.

“You know you could just knock, right?” she asks with a smile, closing the photo album that she was perusing. “The spare key is only for emergencies when I’m not home. Merry Christmas, Naruto, Sasuke.” She glances at what her teammates brought with them: Naruto has a handful of wrapped gifts, and Sasuke is holding a bag of groceries in one hand, and in the other hand is bag of what smells like dango. Her stomach involuntarily growls—she woke up not too long ago and hasn’t eaten yet.

She can’t help but feel warm at the sight of her best friends unloading their things all over the kitchen. They know that Christmas Day is the saddest day of the year for her, and have made sure to fill it with laughter and light ever since she returned. She can’t say that they ever fully succeed, but they certainly make it better.

“What’s all that?” she asks Sasuke, who’s unpacking the groceries. There are two bottles of wine, some fruit, and several different spice packets.

“Naruto said Levi used to make this warm wine stuff this time of year,” he replies.

“Oh, mulled wine! Yeah, he did. It was really good. Do you know how to make it?”

“You boil it with fruit and spices, how hard can it be?”

“I don’t know,” Sakura says with a frown. “He was always really particular about it.”

“He’s particular about everything,” Sasuke replies, and something about the way he speaks about Levi in present tense makes her frown melt away.

“Yeah. That’s true.”

“Dango!” Naruto exclaims, shoving a pack of the dessert into Sakura’s face. “And I’m boiling some water for instant ramen, I assume you want some.” She doesn’t really, but she doesn’t tell him that.

The mulled wine ends up being pretty bad, somehow too sweet and too bitter at the same time, but it’s alcohol so they drink it anyway. They exchange gifts—Naruto got her a sweater she isn’t sure she’ll ever wear, Sasuke a new pack of senbon—and later, full on food and warm from wine, they watch Christmas movies in Sakura’s living room, huddled together on the couch, until Naruto announces that he needs to have Christmas dinner with Hinata’s family.

The three of them walk together until Naruto gives her a bear hug and veers off in the direction of the Hyuuga compound. Sakura and Sasuke make their way to the markets to fill their bellies with street food because neither of them want to cook dinner. The streets are festive, aglow with twinkling lights, full of people who had the same idea as them. If it were a little bit colder, then it’d be the perfect Christmas.

Well, not perfect, but Sakura has never been one to ask for more than what the universe has been able to give.

In the end, they settle for okonomiyaki. Sakura sits across from Sasuke in the booth, quiet as she contemplates whether she wants seafood or pork. She decides on seafood—it’s Levi’s birthday, after all, and that’s what he would choose.

“Thanks for coming into town today,” she says. “It means a lot to me.”

Sasuke shrugs. “If we didn’t drop by, you’d just be staring at your photos all day, wouldn’t you?”

Sakura blinks in surprise. She didn’t realize he had noticed that. She has an album of photos, mostly filled with pictures of her and her friends, but there are a handful of pages that contain Levi. He never did care much about being photographed (something about not understanding how it worked and therefore adamantly ignoring it), but there are still pictures of them together, of the grand opening of his teahouse, of the moments in between that didn’t seem to matter at the time but now she’s thankful for. She usually makes a conscious effort not to look at those photos too much, but she gives herself a pass on Christmas Day—she needs to remember him, even if it hurts.

“I wouldn’t have stared at them all day,” she finally says. “I probably would’ve stopped by now.”

“That’s still more than enough,” he replies. She only responds with a smile, so he motions to move on to the next topic. He starts, and then hesitates. “I.”

Sakura raises her eyebrows, imploring.

“I’m thinking of coming back.”

Her heart skips a beat and she thinks not to ask, not to hope, but she has to. “Coming back as in…?”

Sasuke shifts in his seat and refuses to make eye contact with her. The action is clearly vulnerable in a way he would’ve never shown her when they were even a little bit younger, but years have passed and time has changed them both. “Moving,” he says. “Back to Konoha.”

The smile that blooms across her face is unmistakable, and if there’s a better Christmas gift out there, she can’t think of it.

“That’d be amazing,” she says, and means it. “Does Naruto know?”

“Yeah. I told him yesterday.”

And there Sakura sits, across the okonomiyaki grill from Sasuke, the most whole she’s been in years.

* * *

When Levi wakes up the next morning, the sun is just beginning to light up the sky with pinks, purples, and golds. His body is sore from the lumpy couch, and when he stands up and stretches, his back creates several popping sounds. Jesus, he’s getting old.

He grabs his toothbrush and heads to the kitchen to brush his teeth over the sink, and freezes when he sees Hange already awake, sitting at the kitchen table and nursing a fresh cup of tea. Her hair, usually tied in its signature ponytail, is unkempt today, tumbling over her shoulders in unruly waves and making her look startlingly feminine. It’s only in this moment that Levi realizes that he doesn’t really see her as much of a woman at all—she’s just Hange, with her weird enthusiasm and bleeding heart.

There’s a second cup at the empty seat across from her, still steaming, beckoning him to it. He wordlessly brushes his teeth and slides into the chair, a finger tapping incessantly against his thigh. She isn’t supposed to be awake yet—she’s never awake at this hour. Their conversation from the previous night returns to haunt him; he always dismisses her annoying, yet justified concerns; he always lashes at her like some caged animal when she pushes even a little bit too far. He is too cruel and she is too understanding. One day, he thinks, she’ll finally give up on him too.

“You’re up early,” she says lightly, her voice betraying none of the worry that he sees in the lines of her forehead.

“It’s hard to sleep on a shitty couch,” he replies.

She shrugs, as though the couch isn’t the reason why he never sleeps well. She’d be right.

“Remember when we knew nothing about Titans, and it was all we could do just to stay alive?” She leans back in her chair and stares upwards at the ceiling, reminiscing. “And Erwin finally approved of expeditions to capture them so I could run my experiments.”

Levi isn’t sure where she’s going with this, but he decides to entertain her anyway. “With no regard for your own safety, mind you.”

“Even though all Titans were inherently the same, each of them still had their own quirks. Some were calm. Some were quick to anger. Some preferred company, some didn’t. The thing is, Levi, I always _knew_ —that there was something human about them. I just couldn’t prove it. I was sure they felt the same agony that we felt. And now that we know that truth, I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to be turned into a Titan. Do they have conscious thought? Are they driven by instinct? How do they know to eat humans in order to return to being one?”

“What the hell are you trying to say with all this?”

Hange doesn’t seem bothered by his obvious impatience. “Every living creature needs something. Most of us need to eat, to sleep. But Titans needed to become human again, and that one desire overrode everything else. Sometimes—” She levels her eyes on Levi. “Sometimes, we need something so badly that the knowledge we’re hurting those around us isn’t enough to stop us.”

He narrows his eyes at her, kind of annoyed, but mostly confused. “Are you calling me a Titan or something?”

At his question, she blinks, throws her head back, and guffaws. The sound fills the kitchen in a way that makes him scowl. She doesn’t have to laugh _that_ hard. It was just a question.

Eventually she quiets down, long enough for her to answer. “You miss Sakura,” Hange says, and Sakura’s name on her lips is enough to make his back go rigid and his blood run freezing hot. “You miss her and you just need so badly to hurt less that you think being alone will somehow make you feel less lonely. That having company will just remind you more that she’s not around.” Her head tilts in question. “Did I get that right?”

Fuck her, fuck her and her ability to see right through him. Levi didn’t even know that was what drove his actions, but the moment she put it into words, he realized that she’s right yet again, because that’s Hange, always taking him apart and psychoanalyzing him until he’s nothing but an angry open book in front of her, and he both loves her and hates her for it.

He takes a long drink of his tea and doesn’t answer her question. She leans forward and rests her chin in her hand, expression somehow both firm and soft at the same time.

“We’ve been through hell together, Levi. We’ve seen things, horrible things that we’ll never be able to forget. We’ve lost more people than we can count. There’s nothing you can say or do that’ll push me away from you. I’ll always come back.” Her lips curve into a small smile and her eyes are brutally honest, terrifyingly vulnerable.

Levi swallows the lump in his throat. “Annoying,” he mutters.

Her smile widens. “For you, always.”

In the three Christmases that he has spent with Hange, this is the first time she’s awake in time to catch him leaving the next morning, so he makes them a simple breakfast of bacon and eggs. She talks throughout the meal about infrastructure plans and other things that Levi doesn’t really understand or care about, and he nods and grunts in response when he finds it appropriate.

“Anyway, so they’re trying out fireworks for the first time on New Year’s Eve,” she says as she chews on her bacon. “Theoretically, they’re explosions in the sky that vary in color depending on the material that combusts. They’re supposed to be really pretty! You should stay until then.”

“I know what they are,” he says. “I’ve seen then in Sakura’s world.”

She hums thoughtfully. “Interesting. Even in two completely different worlds, science still seems to progress the same way. You should stay anyway—it must’ve been a while since you’ve last seen them, right? Are they really as pretty as people say they’re going to be?”

Levi shrugs. “They’re fine. They’re bright lights in a dark sky.” That being said, it was never the fireworks themselves that he enjoyed, as much as it was the company that he had—Sakura, always staring upwards with wonder, the colors illuminating her face. “I don’t want to keep sleeping on your couch.”

Hange finishes the last of her tea with a loud gulp. “There’s a pretty decent inn a few blocks down. Or maybe I could figure out another setup for you—”

“I’ll just come back in a few days.”

She stares at him, mouth agape, as if she can’t believe that he hardly needed convincing. Levi frowns. “Shut your mouth or I’m going to change my mind.”

He’d never say it out loud, but maybe she’s right. Maybe he needs to let her in. Maybe after three years, he’s finally ready to.

Hange waves enthusiastically at him when leaves her home. He nods at her, with perhaps the smallest hint of a smile on his lips, before pushing off the ground with chakra in his feet to jump across the rooftops.

Travelling across kilometers of land would be easier by horse, but moving this way makes him feel connected with Sakura somehow. Levi has developed his endurance in his time alone; with his current abilities, he’ll be home by nightfall. He relishes in the silence of being alone, clearing his head of the chaos of Christmas. He forgets the blurry haze of cooking. The hungry children. Zofia’s probing questions. The cold wind whips past him as he flies and he lets it sting his skin, pulling him from his mind and placing him squarely in his body instead.

These are the winds of change. He can feel it. They are harsh and unrelenting, and that, Levi thinks, is the only way to get him to change at all.

* * *

When he arrives home that night, the first thing he does is heat up some water for a hot bath. Once he’s clean, he sits on the rug in the living room, in front of the fireplace, wrapped up in a thick wool blanket he purchased from the market a year ago. He thumbs through a leather notebook, one that he found underneath the bed not long after Sakura disappeared, sitting inconspicuously and collecting dust. Only the first few pages are filled with her writing, scribbles of various techniques that she had planned to teach Levi in their long life together. There are checkmarks beside the majority of them now; he had slowly worked through the list, deciphering her half-thoughts and pedagogical musings, but there are some that he could never figure out. He supposes he never will.

When the exhaustion from the day’s travel finally sets weary in his bones, he rises to his feet and climbs up the stairs to the bedroom. He opens the wardrobe and stares inside; most of the clothes inside are his, but some of Sakura’s still remain: a few blouses and two sets of uniforms. Levi fingers the cuff of one of the shirts for a moment before pulling the sleeve to his nose and inhaling once. The clothes hardly smell like her anymore, but sometimes, when he tries hard enough and closes his eyes, it’s as if she’s right there with him, alive and warm.

He could stand there and breathe into that shirt all night (has done just that on a few occasions in the beginning, when the ache was too great), but he forces himself to let go, to close the wardrobe and step away. And finally, he crawls under the covers of the bed, blows out the candle, and settles into sleep.

* * *

In the next two days, Sakura is reminded of the fact that Sasuke is a man of action.

It happens like this: on her way out to pick up some groceries one morning, she notices a listing for an apartment unit three floors down from her. When she sees Sasuke for lunch a few hours later, she mentions it to him. By that afternoon, he’s made an appointment with the seller to see the inside of the unit, and sometime between then and the next day, he’s signed the contract, paid the deposit, and moved in.

It’s abysmally empty inside and she has to lend him a futon until he purchases a bed, but when they, along with Naruto, drink sake and reminisce about their childhood on the floor of Sasuke’s empty living room, her heart feels so full. She wishes Levi knew that this happened—that it might have taken them years to get here, but Team 7 is finally reunited with no grudges, no hidden romantic feelings, no desire for revenge. He never thought that Sasuke would come around—if only he could see him now.

“Not that I didn’t like living with you,” Naruto half-slurs, eyelids heavy with alcohol, “but I’m not going to miss having to share a bathroom with you.”

“We’re practically neighbors—I could visit you literally _any time I want_ ,” Sakura enthuses.

“Well, don’t,” Sasuke says.

“We’re going to need spare keys,” Naruto says.

“You say that like you don’t just break into places whenever you please.”

The thought of it is so emotional that Sakura has to swallow back tears. This is all so beautifully mundane: simply visiting Sasuke, drinking, and talking just because they can. She’s experienced enough in her life to know that moments like these are to be cherished and never taken for granted, and she thinks about how lucky she is that despite all that she’s lost, she still has her two best friends to live her life with.

She and Naruto don’t leave until the late hours of the night, and when she returns home to her own apartment, the silence is a shock to her system. The air is untouched, still; she flips on the light switch and pours herself a glass of water lest she have a headache the next morning.

(She can almost hear Levi asking her, _“Can’t you just heal any hangover you might have?”_ and she nearly answers him, before remembering that he’s not there. She’s had too much to drink—moments like these make the veil separating them so thin, makes her think she can just reach across the way, touch him, and pull him over.)

Having Naruto and Sasuke eases the loneliness, but it doesn’t change the fact that at the end of the day, she always returns to an empty home.

She leaves her empty glass on the counter and heads to the bedroom. On the way, she passes the cupboard that holds all of Levi’s baking utensils; the closet where she stores his shoes; the towel rack where she still hangs two towels because one just looks too lonely. She doesn’t look at any of these things because they’re simply a part of her home, so much so that she hardly even thinks about them anymore.

The alcohol makes Sakura drowsy, and she drifts off to sleep in no time, curled into a ball on the left side of the bed. After all, the right side belongs to Levi, and she would never take that from him.

* * *

Levi, cheeks pink from the cold, finds Hange in her favorite tavern in town on the evening of New Year’s Eve.

“You look grumpy,” she remarks, waiting patiently for him to flag down a server to order a beer, desperate for the alcohol to warm him up.

“Fucking freezing when you’re practically flying through the air,” he mutters. “I can’t feel my feet.”

“Only you would complain about being able to practically fly,” Hange says with a fond smile, rolling her eyes. “I’m glad you came.”

Levi is too, and he lets her know by not disagreeing with her.

They eat, drink, and talk in the tavern until people begin to move, signalling that the fireworks will be happening soon. Hange is vibrating with excitement as they follow the crowd out into the cold, dark night; Levi pulls his jacket tighter around himself, although it doesn’t really help.

“Wow, it’s packed,” she observes when they come to a full stop in the middle of the street, unable to go further due to the number of bodies occupying the area. “It’ll be hard to see the fireworks from here.” She makes a startled squawk when he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close to him.

“Hold on tight,” he says, and she barely grabs purchase around his shoulders before he gathers his chakra in his feet and pushes off the ground.

They land on a rooftop, and the wind is colder up high than it was down below, but Hange looks happy about it so Levi doesn’t mind.

“Can we actually get a little bit closer?” she asks. “They’re setting them off by the river.”

He scoffs. “Are you never satisfied?” Nevertheless, he lets her grab hold of him once again as he jumps from rooftop to rooftop, bringing them several blocks closer to where the fireworks will go off. The streets beneath them are packed, full of people who are excited to see them for the first time; he wrinkles his nose at the thought of being down there with them. The wind, as cold and bitter as it is, makes better company.

He’s warming his hands with his breath when the first one goes off, exploding in the sky in a brilliant white. The lights twinkle brightly, falling in arches and dissipating until they’re no more. Not even a second later, the next one goes off with a loud crack, this time red. Beside him, Hange is silent. Levi glances over and sees her eyes glued to the sky, wide with wonder.

“They almost look like flares,” she says, and it surprises him when he realizes that it’s true, and that it’s been so long since he’s been on an expedition that he couldn’t make that connection for himself.

It’s been three years since the last time he fought, and before that, even longer.

The Levi who dreamt of seeing the sky with Isabel and Furlan would have never imagined seeing something as spectacular as fireworks. The Levi drenched in Titan blood, serving as Erwin’s weapon, would never have thought that peace was possible. The Levi who kept on losing his comrades, time after time, shouldering the heavy burden of survival, would have never felt the stillness in his soul that he does now.

Oh, how time softens even the most hardened of hearts.

* * *

The days between Christmas and New Year’s Day is always a timeless blur of slow mornings, late nights, and good company. Sakura spends those days with Naruto and Sasuke, helping Sasuke shop for home necessities and decorating his apartment.

It’s New Year’s Eve now, and Konoha is alight with festivities. The shrine is packed, there are lines at every food stall, and people have begun to gather for the fireworks. Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata are sitting on a blanket atop of a building, which tends to be the popular choice among shinobi in order to avoid the crowds of civilians below.

“I upped the budget for the fireworks,” Naruto says with a grin. “There will be more than there have ever been!”

“That’s what you’re wasting taxpayer money on?” Sasuke asks.

“I’ll have you know that we conducted a census earlier in the year and one of the highest ranked things that people wanted was bigger and better fireworks. You think I just abuse the power that I have?”

“Stop pretending like you’re a good Hokage,” Sasuke replies. His voice is gentle and there’s the ghost of a smile on his lips.

Naruto is about to snap at him with a retort of his own, only to be eased by Hinata’s hands on his arm. A second later and the first firework goes off, and the two men fall into silence, comfortable. Content.

Sakura sighs quietly and smiles, leaning in until her arm touches Sasuke’s and her weight rests against him.

Comfortable. Content.

* * *

The demonstration only lasts five minutes before some sparks land where they’re not supposed to and a few trees catch fire. Everything stops, and murmurs ripple through the crowd. It’s anticlimactic, but Levi doesn’t expect any different from this government, which is bumbling at best.

“Maybe they’ll continue once they get the fire under control?” Hange says hopefully.

“I doubt it,” Levi says. He can no longer feel his fingers. “I’m heading back to your place. I’m cold and tired.”

“Can you at least get me off this roof first?”

Levi helps Hange down to the ground, scowls when she takes the opportunity to smother him in a hug with a goofy grin. “See you soon,” he grumbles.

“Bye!”

He jumps over a few rooftops, landing on the ground a few blocks over where the streets are deserted. It’s warmer down here where the buildings can protect him from the wind, and he walks at a leisurely pace through side roads and back alleys. It’s quiet, and other than a drunk young couple fooling around in the dark, he’s left undisturbed.

Levi rounds the corner and steps onto the main road again, but it’s empty; everyone is still gathered at the heart of town. The stillness is unusual for Mitras, but he wholeheartedly welcomes it.

He hears a loud crack split the air. In the first breath, he turns around to look the way he came to see the fireworks igniting once more.

In the second breath, he realizes that the sky is dark, and that he’s falling.

Levi chokes on his own voice. “Hange—”

And then he’s gone.

* * *

When he lands in the training grounds, steadying his weight on his feet, it feels like he’s dreaming.

It is dark, but everything is familiar. This clearing. Those trees. This is the last place he saw of this world before he got taken away years ago. In the distance, he can still hear fireworks going off.

Why now, of all times? What changed?

The question makes him smile wryly to himself, because that’s something Sakura would ask.

And then his eyes widen.

Sakura.

Levi takes off as fast as he can to the heart of Konoha, traversing the streets like he knows them like the back of his hand—

And of course he does. He’s lived here for years. He built his life here. This is his home.

He swallows the lump in his throat and continues to run. His heart is racing. It feels like his skin is on fire. Like he’s dying and coming to life all at once.

He’s home.

* * *

Sakura straightens up from where she was leaning against Sasuke and looks around.

Other than the four of them, this rooftop is empty. Team 10 is on the next building over; Ino and Chouji are fighting over some snacks, and Shikamaru looks like he’s taking a nap despite the fireworks splitting the sky open with magic and light. All in all, things are normal.

And yet, she could’ve sworn—

She has half a mind to think she’s imagining things. It wouldn’t be the first time she felt a chakra signature and mistook it for Levi’s—the mind can easily make things up to fill unbearable voids. Sakura looks around once more just to be sure, even though she knows she won’t see the person she so desperately wants to see, and then she settles against Sasuke again.

“Everything okay?” he asks. His voice resonates in her ear, rumbling far lower than the high and sharp cracks of the fireworks.

“Yeah.” Her own voice sounds distant. “I just thought, for a second, that I felt Levi’s chakra signature.”

A pause. “Do you still feel it?”

“No. I’m just imagining things.”

Sasuke doesn’t say any more, but his arm momentarily comes around her shoulders and squeezes.

“The fireworks are pretty,” she offers.

She feels him scoff more than she hears him, and his exasperation draws a smile to her lips. “They’re excessive.”

“Yeah. But they’re still pretty.”

* * *

He took to the rooftops immediately, because he knows that’s where she likes to watch the fireworks from. In the ten minutes it took to find her, all he could think about was whether he’d find her at all, whether she’d be in any of the places he looked, or if she was dead and he would search every corner of this world and still come up empty.

Just like three years ago, when she didn’t come home for dinner.

But when he did find her, he froze.

He couldn’t see her face but he knew it was her. Her vest was as red as he remembered and her hair—shorter than he imagined, but still fairly long—was tied back in a loose ponytail. She was sitting on a large blanket with Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata, and the image of the four of them was just so—

Levi masked his chakra immediately and leapt to the shadows. For the number of days he’d missed her for, the number of nights he’d yearned for her, now that she was there, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if she still wanted him. With how close she was sitting to Sasuke, resting her weight against him, it almost looked as though—

( _In ways, loneliness made much easier company._ )

Now he makes his way back to their—her apartment, ignoring the fireworks going off in the sky. By the time she returns home, he will have the right words. He’ll be ready.

The spare key is where he remembers it to be: behind the potted plant on the sill, although the plant is dead now because he was always the one who watered it. Levi enters the apartment, flips on the light switch, and closes the door behind him.

He doesn’t count how many minutes he stands there in the living room.

So many things are unchanged. An extra pair of fingerless gloves on the drawer by the door. Books and scrolls strewn everywhere. Empty mugs on the coffee table. He takes comfort in the fact that so much time has passed and yet Sakura still remains herself, full of whimsy and excitement and a thirst for learning.

He leans over the photo album sitting on the couch and flips it open. On the very first page is a collection of pictures of him and Sakura together. His heart twists.

Levi sits down and continues to flip through the photos. He never really cared about them much, but it would’ve been nice to have had some in his time alone. They would’ve helped him remember the exact details her face, would’ve helped ease some of the pain. Or maybe they would’ve actually made it worse—at this point, he doesn’t know anymore.

He continues to turn the pages until he comes across photos of Sakura with other people, and then he shuts the album and places it to the side.

Levi sits on the couch, spins his ring on his finger, and waits.

* * *

Sakura feels it again when she and Sasuke are a block away from their apartment.

A flicker, just barely at the edge of her periphery. She stops in her tracks the moment she notices it, spinning around, eyes sweeping the area, but all she sees are a few villagers who are minding their own business, and Sasuke, who is watching her with a raised brow.

That’s the second time in one night.

“It’s—it’s nothing,” she says to Sasuke, even though it’s obvious she’s distracted. “Sorry.” She resumes the walk towards their apartment, and he doesn’t press any further, for which she’s thankful for.

Sometimes Sakura scales the outside of the building when she returns home, but when she’s with Sasuke, they take the stairs. They climb them in silence, step after step, seemingly spinning in circles as they turn for each floor. The higher they go, the stronger the chakra signature gets, and even though her body is strong and she has put it through much worse than this, her lungs are shallow and she’s out of breath as she climbs. It feels like her entire being is on fire, because she swears she knows this chakra signature, she knows it like she knows she loves Naruto and Sasuke, knows it like she knows the sun will rise every morning.

She walks Sasuke to his door, wringing her fingers as he fishes his key out of his pocket. When he does, he turns to face her, his black eyes startlingly clear. No hiding. No walls.

“You’re not crazy,” he says. “I feel it too.”

Sakura stops breathing.

“You should go. He’s waiting for you.”

“But what if he’s not?” she whispers. “What if we’re wrong? I can’t—I _can’t_ , Sasuke—waiting for him is fine, I can spend a lifetime waiting for us to be reunited, but I can’t hope like this, it’ll destroy me if he’s not there—”

Sasuke grabs her shoulders and holds her tight. An anchor. “You’re the strongest, most incredible woman I’ll ever have the privilege to know. And you’re going to go up there, you’re going to open that door, and you’re going to see the man you love.”

She gnaws at her bottom lip, and her voice is watery when she asks, “Can you please come with me?”

His eyes soften. “Always.”

The journey up three flights of stairs is torturous, both achingly slow and lightning quick. Before Sakura can prepare herself for what may or may not be behind her door, she’s standing in front of it, fingernails digging crescents into her palm.

She can practically see him in there. Sitting on the couch. Pacing behind the coffee table. Flipping through one of her books. Digging through her disheveled kitchen. His hair askew, obscuring his stormy eyes. The way his head tilts when he looks at her. The sharp line of his jaw. That perpetual frown on his lips.

She glances over at Sasuke, and he nods. “Go on.”

Her hands are shaking as she slides her key into the keyhole and turns.

“I can’t,” she whispers.

His next question causes blood to rush to her ears and the edges of her vision to go fuzzy. Of all the people in her life, it’s somehow him who’s with her, giving her the push she needs. Of all the people who could’ve been here in this moment, it’s Sasuke.

“You either open that door or you don’t. Which do you choose?”

Life is all about choices. That was the first thing Levi ever taught her.

Sakura takes a deep breath and opens her heart. Then, she opens the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long time ago, I noticed a trend in other people’s writing and my own where we almost always only write about the inception of a relationship. Once the two characters got together, we pat ourselves on the back and moved on to the next thing. And ever since then, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of actually exploring the facets of a relationship, in all of its shortcomings, ugly truths, and beautiful moments.
> 
> This was my attempt at that. All of the plot, all of the war—it was just a catalyst for Sakura and Levi’s emotions and how they overcame them with themselves and with each other. All I really thought coming into this story was that I wanted them to struggle fiercely, so that when they came out on the other side of it, it would truly feel like they were destined for each other simply because of how they continued to choose each other, even when things seemed impossible. Because I truly believe that loving someone means choosing them every single day. I’m really hoping I conveyed that.
> 
> If you made it all the way to the end of this story—congratulations! It was a doozy. And thank you for coming on this journey with me. I am so sad it is over, but I think it’s time to let these two rest. Maybe I’ll write about them again someday, but for now, I can’t imagine anything for them that I haven’t given them already. And maybe that’s okay.
> 
> I would love all of your feedback, good and bad. <3


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